Why has he gone sad and down all a sudden?

[MidnightStars]

I've known this guy 4 months. We have been dating about 2 weeks. Things have been great really happy.

All of a sudden he's been a bit off and weird. I was suppose to see him last night but a few hours before he text to say his grandad has arranged a family Christmas meal. I was gutted but I said that's ok I understand it's your family. He was texting me throughout most of the meal and seemed upset we couldn't do what we had planned. He then said he thought I was being different. I said I weren't and maybe it's because we haven't seen each other in a week.

He then went on to be very apologetic, said he's felt down and weird the past couple days. Said a few small things are starting to get to him. I said everything is ok between us and he said yes def ok between us and for me not to worry.

This morning he text saying he is feeling slightly ok and put his Xmas jumper on to cheer himself up! In confused because I have no idea why he's sad. He's normally so jokey and now he's a bit down.

Part of me feels this is for attention because I don't think he liked how casual I acted to not seeing him but it's been 2 weeks and I'm not a headcase!!

What do other people Think??

Oh dear. So there were lots of texts all about how he's feeling and how yes you still like him and you've thought about little else and now you are posting on MN. He is bloody good getting his ego stroked.

Being "different" after a cancellation would be OK and normal. He raised it so you would overcompensate with lots of stuff about how it os OK really.

Life's to short for this. It reminds me of negging.

No I'm not a teenager. I'm late 20s. He was a bit different after his night out Saturday but text at 4am to say he got home fine and sweet dreams hope I'm sleeping well. Then Sunday I didn't hear from him for a while then something about he dropped his phone and smashed. Then Monday i mentioned the present and Monday night is when the 'sadness' lack of talking happened. Then Tuesday is when the family Xmas meal situation happened! Before then he was asking me to meet his best friend, saying he couldn't wait to get to know me well how I'm so much fun to be around and he loves spending time with me. Now I'm left baffled tbh

So you have had a grand total of four dates and All of a sudden he's been a bit off and weird!!!!!

What advice do you really need?

MN dating 101, if it's a pain in the arse in the first 6 months, run for the hills

MN dating 102, if a bloke says he needs to put his Xmas jumper on to cheer himself up!, Run for the hills

My thoughts are with new relationships not to get too much into texting about feelings and do it face to face.

Him "I just feel really sad"
You "sorry to hear that, let's talk about it more when I see you"

He’s far too intimate and moody with you after two weeks. He sounds very immature and over emotional. You don’t need a man like that. Don’t get involved.

Another thing that has annoyed.me is he knows my grandpa has days to live and yet he's the one telling me he's sad and all this. I feel that's a bit insensitive

Oh OP, I wouldn't bother with him at all, far too much like hard work at this very early stage.

Yes he is insensitive. You've worked that out so now ditch him because you don't need another reason, you don't need to work out or understand his behaviour yesterday or last week.
Life's too short to put up with this sort of crap. If he's like this now what the heck will he be like in a years time?

He sounds needy and self centred. Listen to your instincts and step away.

What you should be hearing right now is a massive klaxon and alarm bells telling you that this guy is no good for you.

You can do so much better. Don't set your standards so low. It shouldn't be this hard after only 2 weeks. Chin up, back straight and tell him it's not working for you, bye-bye. He screams Man-Child.

Yea I remember when I was speaking to him in a group a couple months back and he said he's needy but made a joke so I just laughed. But I feel like now he's was being serious

He’s shown you clearly who he is. Take heed.

Ugh and the men call us women crazy! I was just being straight forward and trying to have a laugh but no crazy guy had to ruin it!

So we spoke and I asked if he was on the same page if not lets leave it. He said he wanted to get to know me see how things went and take it slow.

Agreed to do something Friday and he could organise. He hasn't come up with anything. I said I'd be free from 6 shall I meet him. No reply for 2 hours. I said what time Then? Then I got sorry I'm out bowling with the family. I'm fuming! He had his opportunity to say yea ok let's leave it. But why didn't he say it Then!

Sorry but you sound a bit full on. You said you'd meet him at 6 then text back asking what time because he didn't reply in 2 hours yet he apologised and explained he was out with family.
OP it's you that sounds needy.

Ugh, he sounds deeply tedious 😴
Bin him off.

AtSea I took it mean he has decided he’ll be out with family on the Friday night, which he originally agreed to see OP on?

OP why are you giving him so much headspace?
He is inconsequential in your life, he is new to your life and he's already messing with you.
Value yourself and walk away from his ridiculousness.
You're meant to see the best of a person when you first start dating.
His 'best self' is simply not good enough.

Sorry to hear about your Grandad. It is very insensitive of him to be acting like this. Has he told you why he previous relationships ended?

Move on! This guy is not worth it.

Jeez - why bother? You've only been on four dates - tell him to fuck off

If it were one incident then I would say that you give him the benefit of the doubt. I get a bit down before Christmas too. It´s to do with a lot of very mixed memories from childhood, and it passes after Christmas. So that is understandable to me. But it isn´t just that with this guy. He is messing you around with plans, not answering messages you send, etc. It doesn't sound like he is all that interested in you. I suggest you back off completely and let him ask you and make the arrangements if he wants to see you. If he doesn't, then you have your answer about him.

Delete and block. End of.

He's toxic. Please don't give him any more headspace

Thanks for your replies. I have not been needy. I've been relaxed about everything and then all of a sudden he starts acting odd.

Anyway i just replied ok and he replied to my message and said let me know about the time even when I had just told him when I was free. So I've not replied. I've had enough he is being a complete arse. I have a strong feeling there is someone else involved. Don't know why he couldn't just let me go when I asked him out right