I have recently discovered that DP has searched for naked images of a couple of celebrities at different times.
DP is 32 and these women are 20. I'm not sure if he knows their age, just likes how they look from tv/music video and wants to know if he can see more. I don't know whether to be disgusted that they are 12 yrs younger or not? But I feel disgusted.
These women are very different to me as well. Very skinny. Very short. I'm 5"10 and carrying a little weight since 2 DC. Not much but a bit of a flabbier belly. Stretch marks. DC are almost 3yo and 18mo. Could have lost weight and toned up and bit and I do plan to but I've had a mentally bad year and not looked after myself. Aside from that I could never be like them even if I lost weight.
It has knocked my confidence massively. I hated when he looked at porn (which wasn't often and didn't affect sex life, but still) in the past but this feels worse, I guess because he seeked them out and because I can see what kind of women he is into.
We basically share a tablet which he sometimes uses at work. I then see at home when I use it but cannot mention it as my mum was visiting. When my mum was out and we spoke on the phone I mentioned it and he denied it. Then he cleared that bit of history as he had it again that day.
Surely he must be wanking at work?
Today he messaged admitting the truth that he did search those images so at least he is no longer lying. He said sorry etc. But I just feel shit. I don't know how to move past it.
Please tell me your thoughts on this?
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How should I feel about this? Feel hurt, disgusted and like I can't move past it.
AlwaysPondering · 15/12/2017 12:38
I don't have a chip on my shoulder at all. The point is, is not up to you or anyone else here whether she has a problem with this, and insulting and patronising the woman won't change how she feels about it. Just because porn has become so normalised in our society doesn't mean we have to accept it
You do. You seem to think any man who watches porn or looks at a woman that isn’t his wife/girlfriend is the devil.
I’m not patronising or insulting the OP either, thanks. I simply pointed out that she is insecure and has self esteem issues, which she also admits, which is a great thing to realise because she will know what to work on
But regardless, it is NOT healthy to get in a relationship and expect your partner to never look at another person ever again. We are all humans, it is NATURAL to be attracted to people - getting into a relationship doesn’t mean all your natural urges and instincts vanish out the window 
My partner prefers brunettes. I am also brunette myself but I know of several celebrities who are blonde that he’s attracted to. Am I gunna go cry about it on mumsnet and dye my hair blonde? No!!! I’m gunna accept that he finds someone else attractive as they are good looking people and never give it another thought
OP, your partner probably does wank over an attractive woman he’s seen on tv or in porn. Sorry, but it’s the truth. To think he only ever thinks of you and him is unrealistic, and that is what’s gunna hurt you more.
The fact he does this doesn’t mean a damn thing.
He still loves you. He still finds you attractive. You’re still the most important person to him. But just because of all that, it does not mean he no longer finds another woman sexually attractive
The most damaging thing you can do is think he shouldn’t be thinking or looking at any other human being. Because that’s never gunna happen. And when it does happen, you’re just gunna feel hurt.
Accept that yes, he probably does think that half naked woman on tv is ridiculously hot, but so what?? It means NOTHING!
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