Wanting to know if £14000 is ok for me to live off as a single mum

[Leavingabuse]

Hello, i hope i have posted in the right place. Have n/c for this.
I have been planning on leaving dp foryears now. Lots of emotional abuse, gaslighting, financial control which took me a while to work out to see it for what it was thanks to women's aid. I got with him to escape my own abusive family so was a recipe for disaster to begin with but i trusted him with my life. Became a sahm and never really kicked off my career. Anyway after plucking up the courage i applied for a job and got it yay! it's a term time job but i only earn £14000. I'm wondering will this be enough to survive as a single mother or should i work myself up abit and then leave? Or change to a full year job. Problem is childcare have noone to help and dh refuses to take time off even though his job is flexible and he earns loads. Part of the way he tries to control me and keep me at home. Ihave some savings but rather not touch them if i can help it. I'm not expecting dp to contribute and don't want to coparent for obv reasons. I'm not in any physical danger but i'm just so tired and this job has given me the confidence to know anything is possible if i ignore his put downs and if i put my mind to it. It's taken me a long time to get to this place. Any advice welcome.

Impossible to know without knowing your full circs.

Do a benefit calculator to work out your top up entitlements and then do a budget.

Well done for getting the job and taking the step to leave.

I think it all depends on how much childcare costs and your rent & other outgoings. It's not a lot of money.

Congratulations on getting a job! and term time too is brilliant.
WRT to money your ex will have to pay maintenance which i think is 12% of his gross salary so work out how much that is plus you should be entitled to benefits due to your salary so you should be fine!
Go on entitled.com and to CAB to find out what benefits you can get.
You will be fine!

I was earning less than that per year as a single mum. Tax credits topped me up. We have managed on it, just have to be careful not to spend money where it isn't needed. Obviously also depends on rent, council tax etc but it is doable

Good luck op.

Agree, do a benefit calculator such as turn to us. When I became a single parent I got a job as a TA earning around 14k, and the DC went to a childminder. I got tax credits, child benefit and maintenance from exH on top of my salary and it was plenty to live on.

Sorry i also want to add that my dd is at an independent school around £9000 which currently dp pays for but i know if i left he will refuse to pay to spite me (he has threatened this in the past) i am wondering if i can take it on myself to pay for these. I only plan to spend on the basics.

You need to do a budget. Include all expenses, rent, council tax, tv licence, transport, did, clothing.
Also include all income, presumably your ex husband would need to contribute to the child maintenance. You might get spousal maintenance on divorce too. Benefits possible too.

Time for some research!

You won't be able to pay for your DD's private school even with tax credits etc.

No you can't manage on 14k if you're going to need to spend 9k on schooling

Are you in UK? If so now is the time to move to an area where the schooling is fine

Approach the school finance officer. There may be bursaries available.

Sorry that sounds awfully snobbish. I just don't want to disrupt dd education. She is a timid child and small class sizes help her and she loves school and is so settled.

You will not be able to pay for a 9K private school out of a 14K income.
If you are earning 14K and Your DH pays the due maintenance (you don't specify how many DC but if 2 then approx. 20% of his net income) and it is then topped up with working tax credit you should be able to live but there is no way that private education will be within your means.

Thanks for the quick reples i reallt appreciate it. Dp is self employed and has told me in the past he will do something do it looks like he earns less or he will leave work altogether if i leave so i don't have 'his' money. I am thinking worse case scenario as i wouldn't put anything past him.

How much are your savings? This will make a difference to what gov help you have access to.

We have one dc. You're right i'll just have to deal with it but i know it will all be my 'fault' for dusrupting dd education as i have chosen to leave.

I have about 16k savings

And how to get somewhere to live. How long are waiting lists or do i get something private?

16k will possibly mean your access to benefits is restricted.

Do you own property?

Realistically on 14k and as a parent you will get tax credits but housing benefit is unlikely.

You will not be able to pay school fees. It's possible that the school will give you a bursary but again, that depends on a lot of things. Your child's age, the school etc etc

You'll have to send your kids to state school I'm afraid. I earn less and manage. You cut your cloth accordingly. And planning to only spend on basics won't work as emergencies crop up all the time. I doubt the council would house you with such a big amount of savings but depends where you live.

So am i better off not working at all to be able to leave this horrible man? Sorry i feel stuck again. Maybe i need to be more patient and wait for dd to grow up more so she can be home alone during term time. Or maybe can go live with her father so her life isn't disrupted. He always says she'd be better off with him.

Redforfilth. Ok forget school fees i just didn't want to disrupt dd life in any way i don't care for the school itself anyway, but do you pay your own rent etc cos if i can't get council help then i'm wonderinf what will happen

You don’t seem to have done any planning for this at all. You should have researched what property costs to rent around where you are wanting to be.
You wn’t get a council property because you are making yourself homeless and saying you are not in any danger.
Go and talk to the Citizen’s Advice Bureau. They will tell you what benefits you are entitled to, tax credits etc.
If you are married you should get some money from the house as part if the divorce plus maintenance for your daughter.

You certainly won't be able to pay the £9K school fees from £14K salary even if you are topped up by benefits and get maintenance. How much maintenance are you counting on getting. You say you have savings. If it's a substantial amount then that will affect certain benefits too.

I've made bad choices in life. Did well at school. Fell off abit at uni cos of depression cos of family issues but managed to get a half decent degree. Was in a reasonably well payIng job as a graduate when i met dp who convinced me to move away with him. I was so caught up in the love side of it i happily got pregnant not knowing what would be instore for me. My parents were abusive i felt i had nothing to lose. I'm trying to rebuild my life now. Sorry i jeep asking questions i suppose just wanted some real life examples of how it is possible.