Hi OP. So sorry it has come to this, hope you are OK as can be.
If you feel able to, as others have said the best course of action currently would be to phone the police and report this violent assault. It doesn't matter that he's now asleep or how many hours ago it happened.
If you do not feel able to contact the police tonight, which is totally understandable, I will warn you that you're likely to go through the following process.
In the morning you will wake up and for a blissful moment you won't remember. When you remember it will hit you like a gut punch of fear. But this feeling will fade. You'll get up and start to go about your day feeling heavy, this weight of what must be done playing on your mind - and the day will pass. You will notice that in the morning he will act normal, perhaps even nicer than he usually does, and you will start to feel unsure. You'll be going through the daily routine with your son, and everything will begin to seem unsettlingly normal. If you notice small reminders of the events of last night around the house, they will jolt you for a moment and then it will be back to the everyday. Life continues, the world didn't stop. You will begin to ask questions in your mind - do I really need to make any call today, why not just give it some more time. It's never happened before (or it's never happened like this before). Maybe I caused it. Maybe he's ill. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I remember. Maybe, maybe...
You wish you could go back to normality, wish it had never happened. And now it's the day after and everything still is so normal in many ways and so maybe... maybe you wish it so hard that you simply convince yourself that it didn't really count. Or that it was a one off. As long as you don't bring it up, he usually won't either, but he'll be playing the part, best behaviour, the version of him you wish he would always be. It's cruel, really. The relationship and normal life you wish you had is being dangled in front of you and it is so, so hard to resist that bait when it is everything you have wanted.
By the time the bruises and pain have faded away you convince yourself that nothing happened, just an argument, and everything is ordinary. However these events are rarely one offs and the day to day abuse and control will come back into play over time. Often worse, because he knows he can push you that far and you won't leave.
Months down the line you'll know the real truth, but it will seem impossible to react to so late on. You'll feel as though nobody will believe you about something which happened months ago. You'll feel as though you can't bring it up as a reason or justification for leaving, because if it was that important, you would have left at the time. Your memory of the event might be shaky and you will struggle to recall details, which makes you self doubt. You'll feel simultaneously guilty for not leaving and angry because you feel you have missed your chance. Perhaps you'll promise yourself next time, you will act. (I would say never wait for the next time.)
None of this means you are weak. It is an entirely natural and normal human reaction, and one which is incredibly difficult to fight.
If you would like to give yourself the best chance at acting on this now, do any or all of the following.
- Tell somebody. Tell a friend or somebody you trust. Tonight or tomorrow or at any time. Silence makes it easier to disappear.
- Record how you feel right now somehow - writing this post was a brilliant start. Whether on here, or somewhere private, write down a description of exactly how you feel, how this incident has made you feel and what you believe it means right now.
- Record your injuries - take photographs if there are any marks. You don't have to use the photos for anything but you might want them later.
- Record the events exactly as you can remember them while they are fresh. Again, on the post is OK or somewhere private.
- Look up what practical steps to take next so that you know what to do and do not feel paralysed or blindsided by normal life happening around you. Remain in crisis mode - this is a crisis!
- Get angry. Get really really angry, and ride that wave. This is a justified situation for anger. (Don't hurt anybody).
- Keep reminding yourself this is NOT normal, this is fucked up.
- Tell somebody else. Tell as many people as you can stomach.
If you do nothing else, start reading about abuser cycles, controlling behaviour, emotional abuse, red flags, and observe. Lurk on emotional abuse support threads or go and read through old ones.
I so wish you the strength to deal with this swiftly but if not - don't give up. All is not lost. You are allowed to react at any time. It will be easiest now but you will still need to force yourself. Good luck. x