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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I leave today!

84 replies

Olicity17 · 05/12/2017 06:48

Today i move into my mum and dads. Stbexh is emotionally and sexually abusive. I was trying to live in the same house, amicabley. Its not working.

But my mum and dad have made room for me and the kids there. I have to get the kids to school and then meeting dad so he can help.

Since i have told him i am leaving, he has ramped up the abuse. He is telling me my teenager doesnt want to come with me until the weekend due to some school work she has.

Once i get her to mums she will be happier there. But its actually getting her there.

I have 1 hour left where he could hurt me, before thw school run. Pls hold my hand. I am so scared.

OP posts:
NaiceBiscuits · 05/12/2017 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Olicity17 · 06/12/2017 06:11

Good morning everyone.

I fell asleep at 8pm last night. I slept all night until 6am. i havent done that in years. I used to get up early because stbxh would try and have sex with me if he was awake and i was still in bed. If i woke up at 3am, i would get up rather than stay in bed and be woken up by him. That never ended well for me. Either he would accept no and sulk all day, or i would end up giving in and letting him have sex with me, after an hour of him trying to penetrate me, even though he knew i didnt want to.

But last night, in my childhood bedroom, i slept properly. I didnt worry about him coming in. It was lovely.

OP posts:
Cambionome · 06/12/2017 07:04

That's brilliant op! Really pleased to hear your update - onwards and upwards now. Flowers

Undercoverbanana · 06/12/2017 07:26

So glad you had a good night's rest OP. You are stronger for it and you made it happen. Be proud and stand tall. You are building a new world for yourself.

Original poster
Olicity17 · 06/12/2017 07:32

Thanks. I feel so much better. I know it will be up and down. I know Christmas will be difficult. But its all so worth it!

OP posts:
Buggeritimgettingup · 06/12/2017 07:42

You're amazing OP. So happy for you that you can start your journey

beyondworriedmum · 06/12/2017 07:43

Brilliant news onwards and upwards 💐 xx

Rockbottom11 · 06/12/2017 13:54

wow what an amazing person you are. Hope youre doing ok. heres a little hand hold for ya x

Bummybum · 07/12/2017 10:51

Hope you're feeling ok!

MrsMozart · 07/12/2017 10:55

Very well done lass. A new world awaits. Little steps at your own pace and you'll look back on the time before this as a bad dream.

Original poster
Olicity17 · 07/12/2017 19:46

Hi everyone. I am good. I have some friends round having a meal.

Went back to work today too, which really helped. Thanks again

OP posts:
Original poster
Olicity17 · 07/12/2017 19:49

Sorry, forgot to say that i told my boss the whole story and she has made loads of arrangments to help me. Flexible working, ensured that he will be removed from the building if he turns up at work etc.

Work have been amazing and really supported me.

OP posts:
Greedynan · 07/12/2017 19:52

Reading this thread brought tears to my eyes. To be that afraid of somebody... I'm so sorry he did those things to you. You are safe now. I wish you all the best xx

dustarr73 · 07/12/2017 19:53

That's brilliant.Glad work is being so helpful.And hopefully your other DC will be joining you soon.

Bumbelinadance · 07/12/2017 19:57

Well done you , this is so tough I know 🌺

I left an abusive husband some years ago , I was terrified . Somebody told me to think of it as skiiing down a mountain , you get yourself all prepared after making your mind up . Then you just ski .. look at where you are going not looking behind you or left and right else you can loose your balance .

It takes far more courage and strength to leave than stay .

lollipop7 · 08/12/2017 00:21

Another voice to add to the “rooting for you” crowd.

’m sat in my childhood bedroom with my month old baby and two other children in the spare room, also back at my mum’s. I also left an emotionally abusive, sexually coercive shithead, who also terrorised our eldest child and hurt him. I have good and bloody bad days. But I never want him back because of the sheer hell of what he put us and still tries to put us through.

Will watch your thread as it develops and I wish you all the very best from this day forward. You’ve taken the first step, which is more than so many of us do. Well done.

You can do it. 💐 xxx

CousinKrispy · 08/12/2017 08:37

Flowers all round! Best of luck to OP and to lollipop. I'm leaving my own emotionally abusive, sexually coercive shithead now, trying to get him out of the house as I don't have anywhere to move out to. Sleeping in your own bed is such a wonderful feeling!!

FluffyWhiteTowels · 08/12/2017 08:43

I too am rooting for you.

Original poster
Olicity17 · 08/12/2017 20:11

Hi everyone. I hope you are all ok.

I am feeling really good, for now. I really feel that I can do this. I know i will have wobbles. But i am just trying to enjoy the feeling i have right now.

I am worried about the weekend, but will try and keep myself and the kids busy. The working week seems easier to face because I am so busy.

OP posts:
Bumbelinadance · 08/12/2017 22:03

Hi op
Thanks for staying in touch with us
Any news on your teenager ?
We are all here for you

Original poster
Olicity17 · 08/12/2017 22:32

She is coming tomorrow. I just have fingers crossed that she actually does come over.

I am trying not push her. Just let her know i am there for her and I love her. I dont want to put pressure on her as she will just pull away.

OP posts:
Bumbelinadance · 08/12/2017 22:38

Oh op 🌹🌈🌈
You are super

squaresandsquares · 09/12/2017 04:08

FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

MrsMozart · 09/12/2017 17:51

Been thinking about you. You're doing grand lass.

Original poster
Olicity17 · 09/12/2017 19:09

She came. She was a bit detached at first. We had a chat and she quickly turned back into her bubbly chatty self.

It was such a relief to see her and have her here.

OP posts: