Is this suspicious?

[DiscotequeJuliet]

Out at a cafe at the weekend with DH + kids. DH took some photos of the children on his phone. He then took youngest to the toilets and I decided to WhatsApp the pictures he'd taken to myself. The top of his contacts list was a picture of a very attractive younger woman (I'd guess early 20s). No name, just a number. What was odd, was the format of the number. It had dashes in, so, for example using different numbers, 079-123-45678.

The dashes struck me as odd - surely if you phoned or messaged a number like that it wouldn't work, which made me wonder why he has it stored like that, and also i obviously wonder who she is.

He works in a building with 300 others, and I don't know 99% of them. So this could be work colleague.

I guess my mind did leap to something dodgy.

Although I don't have any reason to suspect infidelity, I do feel our relationship is a bit... stale. I know he isn't happy with our (lack of a) sex life, and he has a high sex drive.

It could be innocent. But i keep thinking about it.

Anyone know what these dashes might mean?

An overseas contact perhaps? Was there any chat?

They might mean nothing. They may still work.

No not odd. I'm sure my old phone did that. But really you think he's having an affair as there are dashes in a phone number?

Just ask him who it is. Although your snooping will be discovered...

I know he isn't happy with our (lack of a) sex life, and he has a high sex drive

That is your problem right there. Most men need sex. Are you not having it?

Possibly a snapchat number. I think they have dashes. My ex had loads of cam girls as contacts.

I know he isn't happy with our (lack of a) sex life, and he has a high sex drive

So what is the solution for this? Ignoring it will not make for a happy relationship.

I'm not saying you should have sex when you don't want to, however if something in a relationship is a problem for one party... it will ultimately affect your marriage.

The format of numbers seems like an overseas contact to me.

Dr foster comes to mind
I would be suspicious but purely because that is how I found out my partner was a lying cheat.
But I would definitely snoop

Wow, that was a lot of replies in the time it took me to get my pyjamas on

It begins in 07, so that's a UK number, right?

stop the clock i wasn't snooping, i honestly was sending pictures. I still was when he came back to the table and he saw me.

Husky - we have sex, just not as much as he'd like.

pnutter - I would be very surprised if he knew what Snapchat is. He doesn't have Facebook or twitter and I'm not sure he'd know what Snapchat or Instagram are. He's not tech savvy. He doesn't have the app, but maybe it's not out of the realms of possibility

sandy - I guess I'm ignoring the problem for now because it's not been the biggest one in my life. He's always wanted more sex, even when we were young and carefree and fairly rampant. If we did it this morning, he'd want it tonight.
But now, with kids - one of them a challenging one - and various other life things, I'm generally exhausted and stressed and worrying about something. Which doesn't make me want to drop my knickers. Whereas he can have all that stress and still fancy a shag anyway.

I guess I just thought our sex life will improves when the kids are less tiring and life gets a bit easier.

A lot international numbers start like this, Ireland for example has the following ‭+353 (87) 966 1212 as a number.

I think some Eastern European countries use these codes too.

Could it be a business contact? Is his business international? I have literally hundreds of numbers from work contacts on my iPhone and iPhones can link and add contact photos of people to your phone without you knowing, because my email is on our website I also receive daily emails thanking me for the wonder time we had last night from random spam "women" and I've even found these "women's" email addresses saved in my contacts.

If it's innocent then ask him and he'll tell you, at the end of the day if he's up to something he'll either be covering his tracks, deleting these things, or making sure his phone isn't left unattended. So I wouldn't be worried.

Whereas he can have all that stress and still fancy a shag anyway.

I understand this completely. I've been with DH for 20 years and he's always up for it.

Even if he was walking out of the door... if I said I was up for a shag he'd be back in the house immediately.

Go search hid whatsapp, text messages etc. This sort of thing is rife!

bibbidee
So invade her partners privacy further, because there's a number on WhatsApp that has dashes in? I could understand your advice, if there are incriminating messages with it, but it's just a number.

Or... one of his friends could have sent him a pic on whatsapp.
It goes directly to your camera roll.
Try calling the number?

hells - she was a contact, not a picture on his camera roll. She was the top contact when I opened his contacts to find my own number. No name, just the weirdly formatted number and a black & white pic of a very attractive young woman.

I don't think calling would achieve much, unless she answers all calls with "hi, this is Disco's Husband's OW here. How may I help you?"

I think I'll just file this away under "curious" and hopefully not have to think of it again, unless he gives me some reason to suspect anything sinister going on.

Thanks for advice.

numbers beginning 07945 are UK EE mobile numbers

Top contact means his most frequently/recently contacted.

Did no conversation details come up when you pressed her details?

I'd probably suspect an escort of some description, has money been disappearing?

If you can get back onto his phone just take a photo of her number then google/Facebook it.

I think she's top contact because theres no name only a number and she's been toggled over from his contacts, and could have been in his phone contacts for years. It is probably nothing. People rarely look at their phone contact list i think.

Top of contact list does not mean most contacted its numerical then alphabetical. Top of conversations fair enough.

I would be suspicious, on WhatsApp your most frequent contacts are at the top, which begs the question why he is frequently contacting an attractive woman who's not you

The most frequent conversation is at the top. Op said contact list. Not the same thing.

LesisMiserable WhatsApp shows a short list of most frequently contacted at the top of your contact list.

strawberry So it would be ok for him to be contacting an average looking woman? Its just a problem because she's attractive

LesisMiserable it may be different on android but this is how it appears on iPhone

This is what it looked like. I sent myself a screen shot.

Actually, another thing that strikes me as odd. How come it says nothing under her number like all the others? I've just checked through my WhatsApp contacts and they all either have customised statuses, or the standard 'hey there! I'm using WhatsApp". Every single one. Strange that hers doesn't.

I'm fairly confident this isn't someone from years ago. She looks about 20-22, so he's have to have known a school girl . He is in his 40s btw.