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Original poster

Is this suspicious?

66 replies

DiscotequeJuliet · 27/11/2017 22:08

Out at a cafe at the weekend with DH + kids. DH took some photos of the children on his phone. He then took youngest to the toilets and I decided to WhatsApp the pictures he'd taken to myself. The top of his contacts list was a picture of a very attractive younger woman (I'd guess early 20s). No name, just a number. What was odd, was the format of the number. It had dashes in, so, for example using different numbers, 079-123-45678.

The dashes struck me as odd - surely if you phoned or messaged a number like that it wouldn't work, which made me wonder why he has it stored like that, and also i obviously wonder who she is.

He works in a building with 300 others, and I don't know 99% of them. So this could be work colleague.

I guess my mind did leap to something dodgy.

Although I don't have any reason to suspect infidelity, I do feel our relationship is a bit... stale. I know he isn't happy with our (lack of a) sex life, and he has a high sex drive.

It could be innocent. But i keep thinking about it.

Anyone know what these dashes might mean?

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 28/11/2017 19:06

have you googled the number with and without dashes?

UAEMum · 28/11/2017 19:08

On the others does it show the last message in a conversation? Then if hers is blank it means he has cleared (deleted) the conversation

Thebluedog · 28/11/2017 19:10

Dont be fooled by the ‘he’s not tech savvy’ I thought that about my ex, but I was blown away by how much he did know, and how he knew how to hide things on his laptop and mobile

BackInTheRoom · 28/11/2017 19:11

@KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Privacy is lovely, to be respected but it goes out the window when you think something is going on.

HappyGirl86 · 28/11/2017 19:13

I was also going to say google the number or search it on Facebook?

BackInTheRoom · 28/11/2017 19:13

@KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Tbf the OP's DP might be perfectly innocent but I've seen LOADS of post on MN where an OW has suddenly been revealed!

alwaysxmas · 28/11/2017 19:16

It is strange that there are no messages. Looks like they have been cleared as they would show in the preview. How would you get that in your whatsapp if no message sent?

Justadh · 28/11/2017 19:19

If you delete a series of messages, it also removes that person from the frequently contacted.

I just tried it, with someone how wasn't on the list, I WhatsApp'd them maybe 25 times and they appeared in "frequently contacted" then as soon as I deleted the thread they went back to being a normal contact.

So, he hasn't deleted the thread of messages sent or else that number would not be in the frequently messaged section.

If you can get another look at his phone the maybe see if you can find the thread in "chats" and see what it's saying.

I think you have more than enough reason to "have a look"

Original poster
DiscotequeJuliet · 28/11/2017 19:21

I googled and fb searched the number with and without dashes. No results on fb, Google just came up with a load of those generic "who called me" type websites.

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscotequeJuliet · 28/11/2017 19:23

There was no chat thread with her. I don't think she's at the top because she's most contacted, just because it's listed as numerical first, followed by alphabetical. She's the only one on that list who's just a number, The rest all have names beginning with 'A'.

OP posts:
strawberryclouds · 28/11/2017 19:24

Juliet I would try to get a look at the conversation if possible.

strawberryclouds · 28/11/2017 19:26

Juliet ah, in that case it may be innocent. Though I don't understand how she's even in his contacts as just a number? Why would he save her without a name Confused

MyKingdomForBrie · 28/11/2017 19:28

If you look at the format of WhatsApp, what normally appears where you see that number is the name that you have saved that contact as in your phone. Therefore look in his contacts and see what is under that moniker.

RubyBoots7 · 28/11/2017 19:30

The page you've screen-shot is the numerical/alphabetical contacts list. NOT the most frequently contacted. It is everyone on his phone contacts who has a What's App account and is imported by the phone automatically into his WA contacts list. It might be someone he literally spoke to once for work and hasn't saved a name, hence why it's at the top.

(Also there's nothing weird about not having a WA status. A lot of my friends don't as the general consensus is that it's super lame)

I think the best thing you can do is ask him if you're worried :)

Justadh · 28/11/2017 19:31

Ahh ok so the number wasn't in the frequently contacted bit??

I think maybe the best plan is to ask him!! There's nothing wrong with saying "when I sent those pics to myself the other day I noticed a weird contact, is it someone you know??"

At the end of the day, he can't have much to hide if you have access to his phone!!

When my wife started cheating on me all of a sudden a passcode appeared on her phone and her email password changed too.

I'd just like to add, I didn't snoop or look at either of these things I just noticed her typing a passcode in to her phone, which was a new thing and our shared computer would no longer access her email account as the password had changed (alerts everything you open the email browser that the password is incorrect)

justcantdecidewhattocallhim · 28/11/2017 19:32

She appears as just a number as he hasn't saved her as a proper contact. She will be in his contact list but unnamed. I have a few like this in my list because I just can't be bothered to add them to my proper contacts list as I rarely contact them and would only ever use what's app. They appear at the top as they are unnamed.

It is also possible to delete your 'status' which is why it doesn't say 'im on WhatsApp' or anything similar. Plenty of people do that.

I don't see anything suspicious to be honest. He left his phone out? Is he usually secretive with it?

Autumnchill · 28/11/2017 19:36

Search for the number on Facebook rather than Google.

sproutsmum · 28/11/2017 19:38

I had a really nasty ex who stored numbers like this , he did it so when the number rang it looked like a normal number with a hashtag in place of the 4 or whatever.
What he had done is stored the real number with the doctored number in place of the name so
If your name is bob and your number is 0123456789 he stored it so bob was replaced with 0123#456789.
Took me ages to work out but it was a way of storing numbers when he didn’t want me to know who he was calling.
I hope this is not what is happening with you x

BackInTheRoom · 28/11/2017 19:39

@DiscotequeJuliet Do a reverse image search on Google!!!

Original poster
DiscotequeJuliet · 28/11/2017 19:41

He's not casual with it. It usually stays in his pocket, but he's not super secretive or anything. When he came back to the table and saw me with his phone and I said I was sending myself the pictures, he said "let me do it" and reached out to take it, but I just said (pleasantly) "I can manage"

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscotequeJuliet · 28/11/2017 19:43

Bibbidee, I'm not sure it would work as it's cropped and blurry. But I'll try.

OP posts:
Justadh · 28/11/2017 19:47

You need to ask him about it. Simple as that, all this guessing isn't helping anyone.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 28/11/2017 19:50

It doesn't mean he's ever had any contact with this woman on WhatsApp. I've loads in my whatsapp contacts who I've never exchanged a single message with.

I don't have a status. And I don't have a last seen. Infact, nobody who isn't in my contacts can see my picture either.

Frequently contacted isn't a think on all phones either. I don't have it.

Desmondo2016 · 28/11/2017 19:53

Surely that is the name he has given to that contact. All my whatsapp convos are automatically headed up with the name as I have it saved in my phone. So next time you get your hands on his phone start dialling the number and I bet it auto recognises it as a phone contact

ShirleyPhallus · 28/11/2017 19:54

My personal phone is my work phone too so I have absolutely hundreds of contacts on WhatsApp that appear in various random formats, and mostly people I don’t know either

If my DP saw my whatsapp contact list I’m sure he’d have a few questions as there are lots of weird looking ones on there!