Is it emotional manipulation

[isitmee]

I'm very confused and need some advice from knowledgable people.

I'm starting to think my husband has been emotionally manipulating me but he's got into my thoughts so much I feel like I don't know my own mind, even posting here is scaring me in case he sees it.

What is emotional abuse/manipulation?

Is it always bad stuff being said? He doesn't necessarily say bad things to me but tells me he knows what I need to do, think and feel for the best. I could elaborate but don't want to just now.

Yes I'm trying to get used to being single parent, again! Except I now have three with two dads 🙁 I used to think how could people get it wrong the second time round but now I see how.

It is a bit easier but I'm very wary of his mum, he's inherited his ways from her, master manipulator control freak! Scary how easily they can do it!

Really pleased to read your update. It is hard, and I understand completely what you mean about having a mini him in your brain but as time goes on that will ease. My first Christmas with just me and the kids was the best one we’ve ever had as a family, no walking on eggshells, worrying about whether the meal was properly cooked, or what else he would find fault with. The worst ones I think were when he’d arrange to have his family come to ours and they’d all sit around drinking while I did all the work and put up with his snide comments. One year myself and the kids spent hours choosing thoughtful presents for him and got no thanks, the same year he got me nothing, the kids had got me some little bits from their pocket money, he just said I hadn’t told him what I wanted and that he knew I wasn’t materialistic, it was very hard to hide my hurt and pretend I didn’t mind in front of the kids. And now we don’t have that.😃

I hope you and your kids have a lovely Christmas whatever you do. 🥂

I'm having these horrible thoughts again ☹️ I had my first Xmas doo in years tonight and I really enjoyed it but I can't stop thinking, what would he think if he knew??!! And his mum too, I can almost picture them talking about me! I have this horrible feeling that I've done something wrong and need to seek forgiveness or approval almost? I was it would go it feels horrible, is this normal??

Yes it’s normal after living with someone like him. His nasty voice will still be in your head, judging and criticising you.

You need to answer it with your logical brain. “ I have the right to go on a Works night out with my colleagues. I had a good time and I’ll do it again soon. “ or whatever .

It goes with time I promise.

It's getting easier but gets worse again every time I have to hand the kids over, it's his mum who collects them and she's even worse!