DP not happy about financial setup

[fluffycuddlez]

We were coming back from a lovely day out last night and he made a remark about how it's too bad he's broke and it'll be a while till we can do this again. After talking about it a bit more it emerged he thinks that since I earn more than him I could also contribute more to days out, vacations etc.

He lives in my house (bought years before we met) and pays no rent or mortgage, we split the bills. Not married and no children. We're both self-employed in the same field but I make several times more than him, depending on the month. We've been together for almost 6 years (living together for 5ish) and we've always gone 50-50 on everything (although I do go over 50% often, unlike him). Not married and no children.

Am I being unkind here? Should I be spending accordingly to what I make instead of just half? He's never said anything before and I always thought our setup was more than fair but now I don't know...

My partner earns a lot more than me and has always paid more because he wants to and wants us to be able to do stuff. Up to you I guess but I don’t see why you wouldn’t just be more generous so you can both enjoy yourselves. You sound very cold. Presumably you love him?!

It depends if you are a long term couple. I think you definitely have to put more in. What about a joint account where you put in 50% of your salary and he puts in 50% of his salary. You can pay for things out of that joint account. If it needs topping up you can discuss it as needed.

There is a similar thread running but the other way round.
I feel that if one of you earns more it doesn't hurt for the other one to treat the person every now and then. That way you both enjoy more days out or Holidays. If the other person earns less but not because they are lazy etc then I see no harm.
My H earns more than me put our money goes in together.

Agree with the poster who said there comes a point when you need to be a couple. I accept not pooling finances entirely but it just seems unworkable to have such vastly disparate disposable income unless you're always happy to scale down what you do. Although, I do wonder how he has so little money when he gets free accommodation and no childcare costs, which are most people's biggest expenses.

Also you mention his being the less lucrative but more secure area of your sector, and yours being better paid but more risky. In some ways then, isn't there an argument that he's contributing something to the finances that you don't, ie stability?

If you are paying the mortgage, I think that you are already taking more than 50% of the living expenses.