Is this love or just controlling and needy?

[SkinnyProsecco]

Some examples of my partners behaviour that I'm struggling to work out as the title says... (been together 2.5years)

• wanting to do everything together
• often feels put out if I do something without him
• also often feels put out if I don't text much during the day or put enough kisses on text messages
• makes comments such as "that wasn't me, that was probably your other boyfriend"
• occasionally will wake me up in the night or early morning for a kiss or cuddle ... then doesn't understand why I'm a bit miffed at being woken up!

Could probably think of more but these are the main ones. It's always said to be because he loves me so much but from talking to friends and reading threads on here I'm beginning to wonder.....

Will talk to him and update you

talking to men like this just give them the nod that they need to change their controlling strategy. these people dont like being pulled up on these things.

here's a top tip; find a partner that isn't controlling at all...then you dont even have to talk to him about his controlling behaviour. plus it isnt likely to escalate in time.

Will talk to him and update you

Sorry, i agree with PP, the more you explain, the more information you give him, to help talk you round, to reel you in again. Quick text, its i, then block and get on with your life.

Is it not worth giving someone a chance though?

Not really no
If it's one or two habits that get on your nerves then it's worth giving them a chance to change them. This is an entire belief system he holds about you, about women and relationships. How do you think he can change his fundamental beliefs? Not without a) accepting that his beliefs are wrong and harmful to him and b) therapy.

Is it not worth giving someone a chance though?

The 'giving someone a chance' train pulled out if the station a long time ago, according to what you have described. Just get rid if him, your life will be much better without him.

I think it is worth giving someone a chance if they have made a one off mistake or comment (but not if it is of a completely unacceptable nature such as verbal or physical abuse). Then you give them a chance show they will never do it again. When they have done it twice, then you know it wasn´t a one off, it is who they are. This man hasn't´t just made these comments once, he´s done it several times, and about different aspects of your appearance. That´s why he doesn´t deserve a second chance - he has already used up that chance many times over.

he seems like someone not to be in a relationship maybe he is just insecure but it mannifests it self in controlling behavior so however he rationilises his creepy behaviour is irrelevant and he needs counselling to stop his actions im not saying he had bad intentions but people as needy as him cant be in a healthy relationship

Either controlling or needy it doesn't matter.

Give him one last to change his behaviour then dump if he can't or won't. Beware of temporary changes.

All you will do is give him a chance to change the manipulation to another method. People like this are in their nature controlling, the only thing that changes is how.