What are your thoughts on large age gap relationships?

[McBounty]

I have recently started to get to know a guy from my Church. We have just told each other that we are more interested in each other romantically. 😊

He's 15 years older than me though.
That's not too bad, right?

I am 27, he is 42.
We both have children the same age to previous relationships.

This could work couldn't it?

He is only 5 years younger than my mum. That's a little strange for me to process. Haha!

I'm 23 and my hubby 47. Been married 5 years.

Married since you were 18.

So you started dating when you were what 16 and still a child and he was 40?

47 isnt old but when you're 35 and you're with a man pushing 60 it may not be ideal.

very simple equation divide your age by 2 and plus 7 minimum age you should get with

runners when I did that equation, it came up as 28 for the guy I'm speaking to! I'm 27! Should we not date because of the year difference?

@runners656 except that equation works fine for people in their 20s and 30s but gets more ridiculous as the older age goes up.

So I'm pretty sure it was invented by men so that 60-year-olds could justify still hitting on women under 40.

I'm another one who thinks you should seriously consider later in life.

When you should be enjoying your fifties, you will be caring for an old man...

Be mindful the older adult doesn’t dominate or patrionise the younger partner.
And conversely that the younger partner doesn’t have daddy older man issues and idolise the partner.
Do the maths be aware whilst you still middle aged he will be old,potentially not in good health

Those are the things I'd be concerned about. Also that I don't personally know any much younger woman/older man relationships where the couple are still actually together when the man is at an advanced age.

But love is love so age gap relationships are entirely possible. I personally am not attracted to men my age or younger. Not that I'm young..! I'm 54 & OH is 62. Both still active, work and socialise a lot. I'd be un-nerved at my age if my man was say 70 years old, and that's what you will face. However I'd go for it, in your shoes. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

At your age, not that big of a deal.

A 40+ man latching on to a teen to 20yr old. Something definitely wrong there.

So, age gaps, not always a big deal depending on other circumstances.

I'm 23 and my hubby 47. Been married 5 years.

So you were married at 18 to a 42 year old? When did the relationship begin?!

I'm 34 and my boyfriend is 24 and we are very happy.

The age difference bothered me in the beginning, but now I never even think about it.

I know some couples with 15 year age gaps who seem happy enough but it’s not something to take lightly.

I think the age gap grows wider as you get older, not less.

27 and 42 is probably fine.
37 and 52 might be fine depending on the 52yo.
47 and 62 - I would have problems with personally (I do not fancy dating someone my Dad’s age group)
57 and 72 ?

I knew a guy whose dad died in his 80s. He said that he was glad his Mum could finally live her own life. She’d been caring for his Dad for 20 years, since she was 45. He felt she’d lost her youth.

A family member had a baby with a 40 year old when she was 23 - the relationship lasted 2 years - she then had a relationship with someone who was 22 years older than her when she was 27 - they are still together 20 years later.

It might work - it might not work - no one really knows the answer to your question - just take your time and keep weighing up how its all going.

My husband is 14 years older than me (29/43) and he's perfect for me.

It’s interesting that most people commenting - it’s fine - are women in their 20s/early30s saying - it’s great - we are happy with husbands 10-15years older....

Where are the happy 50yos with 65+ aged husbands?
Must mean something, no?

Just turned 39, hubby 62. Couldn't be happier.

It's all a bit too cringy for me.
10 years not too bad.
But anywhere near 16 years and it's just... icky!
Just MHO though.
Many many relationships can and do work with big age gaps.

My mother is 10 years younger than my dad, seemed fine before but now he's ill she's not even retired yet but has to care for him and he doesn't have to worry, volatile man he is and she stands by him stupidly but 10 years makes a huge difference when old age sets in

My dp is 15 years older than me and he's 6 years younger than my mum! We never ever notice the gap. He looks young for his age and is fit and super healthy. We have the same interests, morals, family values etc. It totally works

You will notice the age gap when he's older, though.

The test is to ask the guy if he's interested in a 57 year old woman. He won't be, but it's the same age difference.

Depends on the people and the situation. My dh is 25 years older than me, he is now 70 and generally things are good. We have been together 15 years and have an 8 year old so she keeps us busy. We both have a much older (adult age) child each too. Mine lives here, his doesn't.

Don't go into it blindly but equally at the start of a relationship who knows how things are going to pan out?? We started off gently and were together a few years before we got married.
I do worry a bit about the future but it is a great unknown to all of us. I lost a friend recently who was 38, died of cancer leaving behind a young familiy. The odds are high that dh will die before me but who knows?!
Enjoy what time you have. If you get on well, give it a go. But as someone above said, use your head as well as your heart.

I just find it depressing that men seem biologically primed to go for much younger women. I guess it’s evolutionary in that your goal, even if not consciously, is to pass on your genes and you’re not going to be able to do that with a woman who is past her childbearing years. Every post but one on here is from a woman with a much older male partner.
When you look at men who are rich and/or famous and can have their pick of women, they always go for someone around half their age.
I’m sure if Trump wasn’t President, he’d be trading in Melania in for a 30 year old as she’s 46 which is getting on a bit.

If you have shared interests and get on well, then I think that 27 to 42 shouldn't be that much of a problem. However, if you do decide to get together and you mentioned you both have children, you need to be careful of how your children react to him and vice versa.

If they are young then if shouldn't be a problem, but once they get to 8 or 9 then there is 'you're not my mum/dad' potential.

If it get very serious you need to decide how to discipline each other children.

Also, just try and be sensible, take a step back and decide if it is the best thing for you and your children. If you think it is then try and take it slowly and let the children get adjusted to the situation before before doing anything to rash like moving in together.

@ LipstickHandbagCoffee
"Be mindful the older adult doesn’t dominate or patrionise the younger partner
And conversely that the younger partner doesn’t have daddy older man issues and idolise the partner"

• why would that be bad, if it works for both partners and they complement each other's characters?

* It’s interesting that most people commenting - it’s fine - are women in their 20s/early30s saying - it’s great - we are happy with husbands 10-15years older....*

I think the age gap becomes more significant as you get older. I’m 48, career reviving and becoming more “myself” again as the children are more independent - I’m just not in the same space as someone about to retire. IME men tend to age very rapidly in their 50s so a man who seems young at 45, say, may not be a few years later.

And that’s before you get to the years of being his carer and then widowed.

He's not that much older than her! It's not like it's 30 years.