Can't process this...childhood friend

[BulletFox]

I guess he has said he's wanted to marry me since we were kids. 26 years ago.

I have to deal with selling someone else's house at present, in the middle of nowhere, I do need some help and eventually said it would be ok if he visited for 2 days to sort it out.

He'd said he had a girlfriend so I thought 'brilliant, all ok'. So 2 days after I said it was ok to visit he's just texted me to say he's split from his girlfriend.

He said he wanted to make a will 2 months ago and leave me his house (he's quite wealthy) but I just laughed and said no. No point.

Just trying to process this really.

Don't think he would make a pass if he comes down to help

Alarmed at him now saying he has split up with his girlfriend since I said he could visit (I'd always refused before)

Oh god I don't know, I would like the help as long as he knows it's not going to result in marriage

& don't forget to throw the vibrator in the bin.

I'll put it in the council bin at the end of the road

Why not your regular domestic rubbish. Double wrap if needs be. Noone is going to sift through it!

Why have you not sought help with your mh issues before now?

Sounds like your gut is telling you the score, listen to your intuition in this one. Make some excuse because 2 days is a long time with someone you feel uncomfortable with. I think he has feelings for you.

What do you mean he's not a proper friend anymore so he's gone from.. a dear childhood friend who you love as a friend... to someone who's just not a proper friend anymore ?

baffled....

LIZS I've been diagnosed as being highly anxious, not GAD, but I've got a case against NHS which might go to court so deal with the anxiety by getting beta blockers delivered straight to the pharmacy. It's not very frequent, only once this year.

I don't know exactly what my MH issues are.

don't think he's in love with me.

You clearly do!

Look, this is very clear cut.

He would like to be your boyfriend. You don't want him to be your boyfriend.

You shouldn't take advantage of him. Tell him not to come and sort out the sale yourself. And stay away from him for a while.

I don't actually think the Guy wants to be her boyfriend atall ... I think she's doing exactly what she's doing on here... she's misinterpreting everything.... it's easily done apparently....

Why do you have to sell the house OP, it's not yours is it? Who owns it and where are they? (Sorry if it's a probate and been left to you to sort out, have been there and it's tough). Not being goady, just asking as if you can leave it to someone else to do then I think you should. It's stressful on top of what sounds like an already chaotic time.

I moved in with a friend temporarily then their condition worsened and they had to leave quite abruptly for more suitable accommodation. They need the house sold.

I was fine during dealing with the house sale because it was a duty but now it's sold stc I've had a complete crash since and would like some assistance. The neighbours want to help but I'm embarassed about not being able to deal with it all.

A couple of ex boyfriends wanted to visit but the first I didn't trust not to make a pass and the second told me outright he'd expect physical if he came down so I said no. He tried to backtrack after that and said he wanted to hold my hand and see my smile but I didn't believe him.

I started this thread as my friend (from childhood) has been wanting to visit for a while (I last saw him January last year) and because he had a girlfriend I thought it was fine to let him.

Then I was dismayed after this was arranged that he said he'd split with his girlfriend.

I genuinely think he was in love with me when we were young but definitely not now.

The house, it's easy to box up my friend's things but I'm not functioning properly and just look at it and get overwhelmed.

It sounds like you do need the support of a good friend right now but this guy unfortunately isn’t it. He clearly has an agenda and has had one for a long time and right now you are too vulnerable to deal with his agenda right now.

As for the house, one room at a time. Make a list of what the owner wants to keep (realistically) and organise the disposal of the rest. If you need support in doing this, keep posting but don’t make things harder for yourself by ignoring the fact that your gut is telling you something.

I don’t think you’re using him but I do think he wants more from you than you are prepared to give. Your instincts served you well by refusing the help of the other chancers in your life but this one has been more calculating and has used a ‘girlfriend’ to lull you into a false sense of security.

Who you want him to be and who he actually is, are two different things.

I think he wants sex basically, and I don't.

I don't want the hassle of anyone staying and trying it on.

My girlfriends are all working full time and a few hours away.

Sorry to blather on, I might look into hiring someone for a couple of days to help out

You don't have a duty to see the sale through. Your friend can employ a packing company to put what she wants to keep into storage, or a clearance company for the rest. You could just pack your things and move out. You are choosing not to, at the expense of your finances and mh. Sounds like you need a fresh start and a new set of friends. You don't need to tell the old ones where you move on to, so you won't waste energy on them in future.

If you let this guy come down to help you, you'd be using him. And that is not kind.

So don't do it. Deal with your issues another way that doesn't include involving him, or any of your other exes.