Neighbours and sex embarrassment

[Saz432]

DH are going through a particularly active sex period at the moment (making up for lost time after babies I guess). It tends to go on quite a while (not just sex obviously, hours of that would get a bit boring).

We moved into our terraced house a few months ago and have a nice couple about our age living on one side of us. He even cut our hedge for us when we first moved in while he was doing his own, really nice people.

Anyway, so I'm not a screamer or anything but I'm not silent either. Our bed is against the shared wall with them. I didn't think it would be too bad as we haven't really heard them much so figured the sound proofing was pretty good. Two nights ago we were at it from about 9pm to 1am on and off (I know, really should get more sleep!).

Then last night we went to bed and they were clearly having a dinner party or something (so obviously downstairs) and we could hear them SO clearly. Then they went to bed and we heard them having very quiet brief sex (you could tell it was quiet but we heard it anyway).

I am mortified. They must have heard so much stuff in the last few weeks, which I'm now obviously replaying in my mind and cringeing. Oh god.

How am I ever going to look these people in the eye again? How am I ever going to have sex again? I somehow need to find a way to move the bed away from that wall.

So much shame. Any tips? Do I send them a bottle of wine and an apology?! Pretend it didn't happen? There's literally no way they haven't heard us on many occasions.

Sofa sex?

Not a bad idea!

9pm - 1am - stealth boast?

Amazing amount of stealth boasting here!

On a serious note, if you kept me awake until the early hours for any reason at all, I'd be pretty hacked off tbh

How do you want us to advise you on this? You have sex your married I don't think its shocking at all in terraced housing to hear your neighbour

Just move the bed change the rooms around if you can but if your loud enough for your neighbours to hear loud enough for your children to hear, which in that case you should tone it down as its highly inappropriate for them to be listening to 4 hours of this.

As for the neighbours just carry on as you are doing don't say anything

Definitely not a stealth boat by any means - just factual! Went to bed about 9, had lots of fun for a couple of hours, little one woke up and needed feeding, so was away for a while - we were planning to just go to sleep after that but that didn't happen. Can't seem to help myself at the moment

I would be pissed off too if someone kept me awake until 1am, I certainly had no intention of doing that, and hope that isn't what happened.

Aslong as you aren't screaming the house down or waking them up or their children at silly o'clock I don't see why you should be emvlbarrassed.
Get concerned if a note is taped too your door and Maybe check Wi-Fi you can join see if any are named " we can hear you having sex "

Haha good point, will check the wifi names!

They don't have kids luckily so no worries there. And definitely not screaming the house down! I do need to learn to do it more quietly though, clearly.

I’m not sure how you solve this one; but I suppose it was always going to be an issue because your kids won’t always sleep like logs and definitely won’t want to hear you having sex.

Sofa might be an idea for now. Bed on the other side of the room?

I would be pissed off too if someone kept me awake until 1am, I certainly had no intention of doing that, and hope that isn't what happened.

You probably did though, judging by how much you can hear. Which makes the "aren't I funny and clever" attitude a bit annoying tbh

Sorry to piss on your chips (and before you ask, I'm getting plenty too so it's not jealousy! )

In what way am I saying I'm being funny or clever? I feel awful about it and am really embarrassed, not sure how I will ever look them in the eye again. I definitely didn't want them to hear or to disturb them. I'm constantly trying to minimise the disruption and noise of two very young kids so that it doesn't bother the neighbours too much. I'm actually a considerate neighbour, I honestly thought the soundproofing was better than it was!

dont even worry about it. Most people have sex, and if youre not screaming, then youre not going out of your way to be exhibitionist, I think most people would just imagine its just one of those things you sometimes hear when living in a non detached house.

I used to love a bit of noisy sex until I heard my neighbours applauding afterwards once. I never was quite that enthusiastic again. Did think it was a bit mean and passive aggressive though.

Oh god. That's horrendous. Bet that was fun when you bumped into them afterwards. We occasionally get packages for them (not a euphemism) so I'm hoping it's a while before the next one

I think it was the repeated faces and jokes about gags and bags and stuff that lead me to believe you found it funny!

This is hilarious.
Ex-H and I assumed when we moved into a semi that it had very good insulation, since we never heard our (elderly single gentleman) neighbour at all.

Only after he moved and a young family moved in did we realise you can hear very, very clearly from one master bedroom into the other . . .
Having said that whenever new neighbours asked if we could hear their determined screamer of a baby crying we lied through our teeth and assured them we never heard a thing, honest

I agree BitOutOfPractice it was the "looking for less squeeky beds" that did it for me

Some very 'no sex please we're British ' responses here - why are you embarrassed , sex happens doesn't it ? It's a normal healthy human function . I'd only feel a 'bit bothered ' , as in sorry for disturbing them , if they'd complained - perhaps the fact you overheard them at it was you guys stirring them into action after what they might have heard ( or of course them retaliating by turning the volume up ! )

To be fair though, if the neighbours have a problem with it they need to come to you and say something. You're not being excessively loud, it's just bad luck the walls are thin. You're enjoying your life with your husband and good for you.

By all means be considerate towards neighbours, but there's only so much you can change your way of living if you're not being antisocial!

If someone isn't happy with something they need to step up and say so otherwise how will you know?

So what if you're having quite loud sex. It's no biggie (fnaar fnaar)
In the words of the late great George Michael:
Sex is natural
Sex is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should
(Apologies to celibate or asexual people).

I use humour as a defence mechanism when I'm embarrassed, I think that's fairly common - and I genuinely did Google which sorts of bed are least squeaky / creaky! And would quite like a bag for my head next time I see them to be fair.

We used to have one of those metal bed frames and it was easily the noisiest bed you've ever heard, which I didn't expect - so I'm not sure what to go for!

Move the bed away from the wall.
Tape a duvet to the wall.
Buy a gag 😝😝

Bob's your uncle 😉

Our neighbour is so loud she wakes up our 7 year old DC, who now hates going to her bed. She gets scared because she obviously has no idea what is going on. It's awful.

I wish she had more consideration for her neighbours.

It’s hardly “stealth” boasting. It’s blatant. I can’t imag anything more boring than a 4 hour shag 💤.

Namechanger - I am so sorry, that's horrific. I am speechless, that's just so terrible. And I was angry with our other neighbours for setting off constant bloody fireworks every night for five days in a row just as the kids went to sleep. That must be terrible.