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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Battling on!

981 replies

lollipop7 · 31/10/2017 20:06

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

OP posts:
Slingsanderrors · 06/12/2017 23:00

Just seen this, brilliant news. Enjoy your Gin

Original poster
lollipop7 · 06/12/2017 23:17

Once again Thank You ❤️
I expressed and had a very large double gin & tonic. It was nectar from the gods!

I hope this is the first of several good pieces of news I get to share in this next leg of the journey.

Thank You, all of you for helping to keep me on this path, when I lost my footing or stumbled.

I promised myself and my children I will keep going. I will. Just keep taking baby steps.

Think I might sleep properly tonight the first night in a long while x

OP posts:
CarpeVitam · 06/12/2017 23:39

Some happy for you Lolli, great news! About time too! Smilex

iknowimcoming · 06/12/2017 23:46

Just caught up with today's news! Phew! Yay! And a huge well done to you Lollipop and your solicitor, glad you enjoyed the g&t - sleep well lovely lady Xmas GrinXmas GrinThanksThanks

Ellie56 · 07/12/2017 00:16

Yay!! At last common sense has prevailed.Bet Twatface is seething! Grin

Let's hope SS have so many other things to do next week they don't manage to find a slot to write any reports!

ElsieMc · 07/12/2017 07:51

Knowing SS, I think it is pretty unlikely a report will be prepared. The reason for this is that it is not an emergency to them is it, as the children are safe with you.

The outcome of this will hopefully mean a peaceful Christmas for you and the children. However, this brings into sharp focus that without money to pay for a barrister/solicitor, you would have had to attend court. Special thanks to your mum as well.

Although our outcome was not what we wanted, my MIL paid for the last few hearings and a friend offered to pay also. Does restore your faith in human nature.

He needs to realise that a contested hearing will be as unpleasant for him as it will be for you.

Original poster
lollipop7 · 07/12/2017 08:19

I'm under no illusion as to the inevitability of a contested contact hearing. But he's been so hideous to me for so long I'm ready for it as l ever be.
I expect you're right about SS but that's not my problem. For once. If they do stir their stumps I have corroborative evidence and quite a few things to bring to the table.

I'm trying to stay positive and remember why I did this. His repeated breaches of contact are finally on the judges radar too.

The main thing for me right now is that I get to keep him away from them for a few weeks.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 07/12/2017 08:24

Good outcome Lollipop.

Now, can you try to put all this down for a couple of weeks? Really actively notice when you are thinking about the court crap, and work on focussing on something else? You need to give your mind a break!

Original poster
lollipop7 · 07/12/2017 08:45

I've got to submit the schedule of allegations just before xmas but they are practically done anyway. I'm hoping for some down time apart from that.
It would be nice to switch off from it for a little while!

OP posts:
NettleTea · 07/12/2017 09:07

That is such brilliant news. Of there is only one good thing from his absolute disgustingness, is that you have been able to document it all, and it adds to your evidence.
I HOPE that now this initial change has happened, that things will change now. His behaviour is likely to get worse, but it can get worse for you. He is likley to get worse with professionals and that wont look good. Which is brilliant for you. And if he attempts any contact after an absolute like this, again, its bad, but its good for you.

Lilliepixie · 07/12/2017 09:14

Looking good Lollipop
Sending you strength. X

AvoidingDM · 07/12/2017 13:02

Good news Lollipop I glad the judge is seeing the breaches. Those could be the rope that hangs him.

MushroomSoup · 07/12/2017 21:37

Hurray!

Original poster
lollipop7 · 08/12/2017 11:59

Well perhaps another highly significant development

I have been contacted by a Director at his place of work re the Paternity Leave.........

Also seeing the social worker with our son next Tuesday. She wants to see him and try to speak with him. I daren't allow myself to imagine who much a massive difference these two developments might change things for me and my children.

I slept for hours and had a lie in this morning thanks to my wonderful Mum. The sun is literally shining and it might start to a bit more metaphorically too in the next few days on my little family.

OP posts:
Original poster
lollipop7 · 08/12/2017 11:59

*how not who

OP posts:
CiderwithBuda · 08/12/2017 13:06

That all sounds positive lollipop. I really hope it starts to improve things.

KarenW · 08/12/2017 14:31

good news, so pleased that things are finally starting to happen. Let us know how the Director takes the news about the paternity leave¬!

Gemini69 · 08/12/2017 14:45

Wonderful news that His Employer I taking your complaint seriously.. the guy has a pure brass neck Lady Flowers

rainbowstardrops · 08/12/2017 14:54

Potentially brilliant news! The power of positive thought from all your crusaders here are hopefully changing things for you and your fellow lollipops!!!! Yay!

Ellie56 · 08/12/2017 15:25

Cautiously optimistic here too Lollipop.Xmas Smile

JaneEyre70 · 08/12/2017 15:39

Your Mum sounds a wonderful lady Lollipop. And I bet she's so glad to have you safe and sound under her roof even with all the chaos of young children going on Grin. It's brilliant that his company are looking into his paternity leave....talk about having the hide of a rhinoceros.

OnTheRise · 08/12/2017 16:08

That's all excellent news! I am so pleased! I hope both the director and the social worker pull out all the stops for you.

NettleTea · 08/12/2017 16:50

oh thats brilliant

Yamayo · 08/12/2017 16:57

Glad to hear things are looking up. Fingers crossed it keeps going!

Doublemint · 08/12/2017 17:07

All sounding like it's starting to turn around. It's about bloody time!