Concerned my ex hasn't told me they are moving to a horsebox

[maisonettedweller]

My child has recently come home from their other parent's house, which is a long way away. We have shared care (though they are with me 80% of the time).

My child told me that my ex has bought a horsebox and will live in it when the house they are currently living in is sold (my ex is not the owner). My child is reliable, and I trust their understanding of the situation accurately reflects what my ex told them.

My ex has not mentioned this to me, other than writing they bought a "truck" in the handover diary (containing activities they have done together), which I initially assumed meant a pickup truck, to replace their car, till my child told me about the horsebox.

I emailed asking if they are intending to move, and they are being very evasive and only confirming they intend to move "next year". They have not said anything about it not being a house, and won't give me further details (which they must; that has been made clear to both of us in the past, in fact we each require permission from the other to move our child's home).

I don't inherently object to people living in horseboxes. I think it should be easier for people to live in cheaper and lower-impact ways like that. But I do have concerns about how my ex will consistently meet my child's needs in that situation. E.g. reliable water, light, heat, communication, a secure address (not being moved on) etc. Especially when they are not from a travelling background, so have no experience living that way, and presumably no contacts in the relevant community.

These concerns are not being answered because they won't even tell me they are intending to live in this horsebox, let alone discuss details like that with me.

I know this post is a bit vague in places, but I have to minimise the amount of information I give.

I don't understand what you're asking here though, OP.
Are you just letting off steam?

Your excan provide a perfectly adequate very part time home in a converted vehicle.
It's not crazy for him to consider it, or to know that you would object, because you proposed it when you were together - yes, that was then and this is now, but my point is that some people it would be unthinkable and for others not. Your history suggests it's not unthinkable to you. And indeed, you've said here it isn't out of the question.

Your issue appears to be a lack of information and reassurance on the safety aspects. You have my sympathy for that.

But you also appear to have a very specific and I think quite unusual court order if he has to give you details and seek your permission to change home.

I don't see how anyone here can advise on that - it all depends on the Order. How detailed is the Order about the timing and detail of information that he has to provide?
That's what you need to look at and act on. See a solicitor if you need to.

I would send him an email saying that you understand from son that he is planning to convert this horsebox and that as per the Order you require:

• x notice of the date he'll move to it
• the address where he will site it (or if changing, the address for each stay before your son is collected)
• copies of whatever works you consider necessary (e.g. receipt from gas installer)
• to be able to inspect it for suitability 2 weeks before your son is first staying in it

^ amend based on what you actually want, and what your court order allows you to demand

Be upfront and forthright, don't hold back.

My ex won't reply by email. They answered some of my questions today when collecting our child (by the car in the freezing cold). Half of which I have already forgotten, which is partly why I wanted it in writing.

They said their official address will be with a parent anyway so not to worry. But that's not possible because their parent will be living on a 50+ park home site, so neither my ex nor my child are old enough to live there (even if they visit).

I've seen a photo of it (I found it online from my child's description) and my ex confirmed it is the right one. It's pretty small, a 2 stall box, 2m x 4m. They were very vague/blase about the conversion details and said they would just park it "wherever" and wouldn't get moved on.

The other person I contacted about it has not replied.

BTW whoever here posted this thread on Reddit, I don't appreciate it. I'm clearly trying to keep this as low-key as possible for legal reasons, and spreading it further round the internet is not helpful. You could have made those inane jokes on here anyway.