Question for woman who do not like porn in their relationships.

[quicknamechange789]

I hate porn and do not want it in my relationship, my husband apparently agrees, that mainstream porn, is not healthy in our relationship. However he thinks that looking at Reddit’s gonewild forum every day or so is fine. GW is women 18+ taking pictures of themselves nude, boobs, fanjo’s, arseholes etc. I think this is almost worse then just watching porn and feel upset that he does it so often.
Just asking opinions please?
( This is really just a question for women who don’t agree with porn in their relationship, it’s not a debate for the pro porners please.)
It’s my prerogative to feel the way I do.

The reasons why we agreed porn wasn’t to be involved in our marriage was partly ethical, which IMO excludes GW as I’d imagine most of it is voluntary. But it was also for the problems porn use causes in a marriage, addiction, quality of sex life, insecurity’s it causes, not just for me, but for him too, by his own admission. It was a mutual decision.

I hate porn too and would class gw as the same. Still looking at other people for titillation.
I see what you mean by it feels worse. Totally agree.

Though from a moral point of view it hopefully isn’t as coerced.

Porn is porn. He's a hypocrite. I've had massive issues with porn in my marriage (different and complex situation) and I detest the stuff. I find this less disturbing if the women are choosing to do it, but it's still porn nevertheless. I'd tell him to stop being a hypocrite. What makes you feel it's worse? Seems to me you're upset by it because you're able to think of the women in porn as not real women, but they are.

I think what he meant was that you were not to watch porn, but it's fine for him to do so.

I would definitely see it as porn, but ethical porn and therefore would be OK with it.

I can’t sss any way your DH can justify it in the context of his other objections such as addiction, insecurity, causing problems in a relationship.

It is definitely porn. I would not accept it in my relationship. I'd hate to have that crap running through my partner's head in my sex life. I also think it is not healthy or conducive to having respect for women in general to have an unnatural abundant access to the sex organs of women you don't know that the Internet, mobile technology etc allows.
Your partner is a hypocrite and needs to stop this bad, misogynistic habit.

There is no way of knowing the women consented to the GW photos being publicly shared.

How naive do you have to be to believe the lies of people making money off naked photos of women online?

Right Sillage could easily be shared by dishonest boyfriends or could be more vulnerable, easily maniplated young women. Making it look 'authentic' is probably a deliberate producer's device to hook in hypocritcal men like OP s DH.

Its porn and he is being a hypocrite

It's porn, of course it's porn! I would feel angry and disgusted by this. If you both disagreed with porn in your relationship solely because of the way the porn industry works, then I guess this would be seen as consenting and ethical, so would be fine. But you clearly both made the decision about ALL porn. It sounds like he doesn't want you looking at other men naked but it's ok for him to do it. I don't even understand how he can justify it when you specifically talked about it being unhealthy and creating insecurities. I don't know how this website works but I'd find it even worse and a form of cheating if there is interaction between the woman and your husband.

I find this such a turn off.

Random question but how famous/infamous is gone wild? Is it a well known part of Reddit?

Noisygirls- apparently most male users on Reddit are very familiar with Gw. There’s loads of different dedicated gw forums too, like assholegw, which is just specific to assholes, etc.

This would turn you off men for life.

It’s certainly turned me off my husband.

Yupp.

Women spend too much time pleading with men not to be objectify women. They need to Get. Turned. Off.

I agree. It's creepy and disgusting. It's about as attractive as finding out he's a peeping Tom. Yuk!

Women spend too much time pleading with men not to be objectify women. They need to Get. Turned. Off.

Yup.

It also sounds to me as though your husband is concerned about you watching porn and getting off on it/comparing him.

Tough. If it's good enough for him... and then see how he likes it.

God he's such a hypocrite isn't he?!

It's porn. I agree with a pp, he just doesn't want YOU to watch it but is happy for himself to view it, and daily! That's a lot!
I halve my own marriage problems concerning porn so I know where you are coming from.

Are they free - like the woman doesn't get paid for the image and just is feeling proud of her bits so posts them online. And are they just pictures of bits or is stuff being done to them?
If it's just a woman who thinks her arsehole is pretty enough to share with the world, I'm less bothered by it. I don't think it's great being in a relationship with one person and looking at pictures of someone else but it bothers me less than the whole being porn industry thing.

It’s certainly turned me off my husband.

Same here. GW appears to be for men who need a constantly and rapidly updated collection of random women providing provocative sexual images for their approval. I think it probably gets addictive. It does make me think less of any long term partner who gets involved in this, esp when porn had previously been discussed within the relationship and it was mutually decided that solo viewing was going to be disrespectful or destructive to the relationship (much like your situation OP).

I cannot understand women who regularly post these things seeking admiration and approval from a bunch of leery internet strangers. Shallow and seedy.

OP - so can I just ask. Now that you have got what you came here to get - an agreement from likeminded people. What are you actually going to do?

Tell him there are other people who share you views and hope that, somehow, changes his mind?

Or actually talk to him and understand what is going on?
Or tell him how it makes you feel?

In the end of the day, one is either secure or not. It doesn’t have to be attractive and naked women online that can make you question yourself. On a daily basis there are attractive women of all ages walking by him. He is capable of imagining them undressed. (Same for you and attractive men)

Arguing, rather than talking about insecurity and jealousy won’t do any of you any good.

You know, many men like to browse GW because they have another reddit username where they communicate with (or even give gifts to!) the women whose photos they appreciate. I knew a woman who made not quite a living, but certainly a lot more money and gifts than most hobbies, off of her GW photos, often from married men. How sure are you that he's not using this as a platform with which to actually engage with the objects of his desire?

Haven’t read replies, sorry, but I would be disgusted and betrayed if I discovered my husband doing this.