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Original poster

What would your partner be like in a Zombie Apocalypse?

77 replies

MeganChips · 19/10/2017 13:50

I saw a meme doing the round recently which said something like: "Before you marry someone ask yourself if they'd be a good killing partner during the Zombie apocalypse"

It got me thinking. My DH, while lovely, is a bit (lot) of a wimp. I have lost count over the years of the times he has stood by and let a family member of his insult me, from my weight, to my hair, my dress sense, my competency as a mother and my choice of career. His reasoning being, he doesn't like conflict and I'm a big girl, I can look after myself. I have bitten my tongue so many times so he doesn't have to deal with any discomfort.

If we ever found ourselves in a tight spot I could safely say I'd be on my own.

We had a couple of mishaps on holiday this year which were irritations but not insurmountable. His response was to cry and let me deal with it. Everything has to be sorted out by me while he does his best turtle impression.

It's a massive turn off to be honest but he has always been like it, it just never used to bother me. It really does now though and I'm struggling to feel the respect I should. He seems to be getting worse but says he's never going to change.

What is your partner like in these conflict situations? Would he be any use in a zombie apocalypse?

OP posts:
drinkswineoutofamug · 19/10/2017 17:42

Hubby has a couple of guns and I’m not a bad shot either. I’ve already got tired of food and bits so we are ready. I’m hoping it doesn’t go every man to himself but I reckon my hubby will protect us

UnicornRainbowPoo · 19/10/2017 17:45

My ex would be in the car and twenty miles down the road before the kids and I had even made it to the front door.😳 Though my son is patient, practical, and very caring so I’m sure he and I would make a good team.

Emboo19 · 19/10/2017 18:30

Well he’s actually my ex. But we were joking the other day with the funny coloured sun and he says I still get his protection in a zombie apocalypse (seen as I am his DD’s mum)
He’d be really great though, and probably love it! He does a physical job, used to do boxing, he’s good with cars and building things and he can hunt and fish. I think he could be pretty ruthless too in a everyone for themselves scenario (I don’t think I could).

My dad on the other hand would be absolutely no use at all and freely admits this. We’re all under instruction to very kindly finish him off if/when he gets zombified himself. He doesn’t do running so he’s likely to get caught pretty quickly.

category12 · 19/10/2017 18:36

I think my ex would actually try to come and save us. I'd be fine when he got here. It'd be awkward.

tabulahrasa · 19/10/2017 18:41

Well mind would be shit at actually dealing with zombies, or nature (he's scared of flies even Hmm ) and he's not good at planning or cooking.

But, he's very good at DIY type stuff and he can fix/rebuild electrical items and cleaning, he's not bad at cleaning.

So he can build things and I'll just deal with the icky stuff, lol

RubyRed2017 · 19/10/2017 18:44

My ex would be as much use as me (nothing)
The guy I'm currently dating would pull strings to get us helicoptered out of trouble 🤣

midnightmisssuki · 19/10/2017 18:46

I would totally survive because we are both huge TWD fans and know what to do in a zombie apocalypse. Not only that, we've done the zombie run and my dh and i were the only ones who were uninfected in the end. How geeky are we hahahhaa Grin

TopOfTheCliff · 19/10/2017 22:56

DH would have the survival kit packed on our bikes and we would be on our way to safety at speed. He is a whizz at mapreading and fixing things and at First Aid but I don't think he could attack anything because he is so nice. He might talk the zombies to death though Grin

coldlocation · 19/10/2017 23:36

ExH - hopeless - wld have run away after looking like he might be useful, by dint of at least being tall and broad, for about a minute.

Recent ex DP - more than hopeless and would blame me for the appearance of zombies and weep. Possibly useful as interim foodstuff for marauding hordes while I legged it though.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/10/2017 08:07

Dh is a fantastic runner and in this life has just jogged away from conflict. Some twats tried to beat him up late at night when he was out for a run Confused and he just ran 50 yards away and turned and told them they were really fucking lazy muggers. He’s also quite calm and used to mediating teenagers.

I can’t run AT ALL, not even to the end of the road - so I’m not sure.

I think we’d both have to access the really aggressive parts of our personalities to fight a non rational threat.

Against a rational threat we’d talk them down no problem.

cakecakecheese · 20/10/2017 09:04

RubyRed2017

This intrigues me, what strings can he pull? I want a ride in a helicopter Grin

bigmouthstrikesagain · 20/10/2017 09:13

Hmm I have done a zombie survival day and have learned who to use riot gear and Kalashnikov so I would be awesome. Dh might be quite helpful, hold my spare weaponry and keep kids safe with him... Or we might decide that surviving the initial apocalypse is fine but what about the shitty world we would be left with? He is an excellent communicator so perhaps more useful in the aftermath.

mamasiz · 20/10/2017 09:21

DH would be amazing. He's fit, smart and would happily wield a chainsaw. Although, chances of us both being zombie meat are high - we'd both be trying to herd our cats together!

sinceyouask · 20/10/2017 09:22

In his fucking element. He and ds1 would rock it. Me and ds2 would be useless. Ds3 would probably choose to join the zombie horde.

DixieNormas · 20/10/2017 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KityGlitr · 20/10/2017 09:44

My ex would have been worse than useless, once a neighbour tried to break in our flat and attack us and he cowered in the back bedroom leaving me in the front room holding a baseball bat on the phone to the police trying to talk the guy down through the window. I've never forgotten that sense of insecurity and being on my own when danger appears.

My OH would be amazing and that's one of the things I love most about him, not sure how good he'd be in a fight as he's never had one before, but he's incredibly smart and quick thinking and would be great at finding us weapons and shelter and outsmarting others, and I know he'd absolutely put himself in danger to protect me. He's also a medic and would be great at treating wounds/saving lives! There's nobody else I'd rather have by my side.

UnbornMortificado · 20/10/2017 09:51

Depends on whether we could loot his medication or not.

DH has paranoid schizophrenia (diagnosed and successfully medicated) not sure if that would be helpful to the situation or not.

pullingmyhairout1 · 20/10/2017 10:09

My dp and I were talking about this the other day. He is a massive twd fan. I think he'd be awesome. He's a chef so I can trust him food wise, and obviously excellent with knives. We are both able to take care of business but together we work very well.

Lesley1980 · 20/10/2017 13:03

Mine would cut the grass ignoring the zombie invasion hoping it goes away.

SomeKindOfGenius · 20/10/2017 13:49

If last week when we heard a noise downstairs during the night is anything to go by, he'd be feckin' useless!
He'd be trotting around behind me whispering while I was tooled up with a large mag light! 🙄

MusicToMyEars800 · 20/10/2017 13:53

My DP would be ruthless, I don't doubt him for a second Grin

RubyRed2017 · 20/10/2017 13:56

cakecakecheese he Knows People.

Myheartbelongsto · 20/10/2017 15:45

There is no way in the world that my boyfriend would let someone be rude to me.

If the kids raised their voice to me he would tell them not to speak to their mother like that.

RosyPony · 20/10/2017 15:48

We often ponder what life would be like washed up on Bear Grylls island. I think we’d do okay, he’s very practical and an engineer so we’d have fire and I’d make a pretty mean shelter (I like somewhere comfy to sleep).

I would have to deal with spiders though 😎

Steeley113 · 20/10/2017 15:59

He thinks he would be amazing but once our fire alarm went off in the middle of the night (false alarm luckily) and I had jumped out of bed at 8 months pregnant, grabbed our 3 year old from his bed and ran downstairs while he was sat up in bed rubbing his eyes 🙄 so I don't hold out too much hope for him in an emergency situation...