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Relationships

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Original poster

What would your partner be like in a Zombie Apocalypse?

77 replies

MeganChips · 19/10/2017 13:50

I saw a meme doing the round recently which said something like: "Before you marry someone ask yourself if they'd be a good killing partner during the Zombie apocalypse"

It got me thinking. My DH, while lovely, is a bit (lot) of a wimp. I have lost count over the years of the times he has stood by and let a family member of his insult me, from my weight, to my hair, my dress sense, my competency as a mother and my choice of career. His reasoning being, he doesn't like conflict and I'm a big girl, I can look after myself. I have bitten my tongue so many times so he doesn't have to deal with any discomfort.

If we ever found ourselves in a tight spot I could safely say I'd be on my own.

We had a couple of mishaps on holiday this year which were irritations but not insurmountable. His response was to cry and let me deal with it. Everything has to be sorted out by me while he does his best turtle impression.

It's a massive turn off to be honest but he has always been like it, it just never used to bother me. It really does now though and I'm struggling to feel the respect I should. He seems to be getting worse but says he's never going to change.

What is your partner like in these conflict situations? Would he be any use in a zombie apocalypse?

OP posts:

evilharpy · 19/10/2017 15:03

Mine is physically strong and a fast runner, very clever and resourceful and good at fixing stuff, including cars. Also has brilliant hand/eye coordination from years of videogames. And gets annoyed at the stupidity of everyone in Walking Dead and discusses more efficient ways of killing zombies. Bring on the apocalypse.

ravenmum · 19/10/2017 15:07

Even if you do think your partner is a big girl, though, you can still show from your body language etc. that you're on her side. My ex never did that either; in fact I often got the impression that he was definitely on the other side - e.g. when my new job was described as a source of "pocket money" for me, he nodded and smiled. I wasn't expecting him to leap in with a protest, but even when I asked him about it afterwards he still couldn't see that the comment was belittling and made me feel like I was being unreasonable to think that way.

That kind of thing is not good for the ego in the long run.

debska · 19/10/2017 15:16

I think we would make a great zombie fighting team. I could spot them and he would batter them. I have actually thought about this before. One of the games I play with my kids is ' would this be a good place to defend from the zombie hoards ' Glad to know I'm not the only loon on Mumsnet

MiniTheMinx · 19/10/2017 15:39

He'd be great. He's very sweet and sensitive, but he is someone who steps forward. He has values and he is very protective. As far as I know hes never said a bad word about me, he's very loyal. He confronted a man on the train the other day, because this guy was taking photos of women's bums. I grabbed the guys phone off him. I can think of lots of examples where he has stepped in when others might not.

We have a house full of old flintlocks, some antique shot guns, muskets and swords. I know how to put people on the floor, the eldest DC is like a ninja, the youngest is very practical. I think we would stand a fair chance of surviving.

PoeDameronLovesFinn · 19/10/2017 16:07

Mine already owns a shotgun, is a pretty dead shot and would have my back

Unfortunately a shotgun is a rubbish weapon to defend yourself from zombies with - too heavy, too slow to reload, and too inaccurate at anything but point-blank range. A sidearm such as a pistol is the way to go.

cakecakecheese · 19/10/2017 16:20

While I'm not a fan of the whole men have to be 'manly' and can't be sensitive stereotype that must be exhausting OP and it doesn't matter your gender or temperament if your family are bullying your partner you tell them to pack it in.

In regards to the question I've literally just started seeing someone and it's very early days but I've known him a long time and I am convinced he'd be brilliant in a zombie apocolypse as he's seen every zombie film ever made (probably) and would be able to construct a foolproof survival plan

I'd just go to the Winchester and wait for it all to blow over...

PsychoPumpkin · 19/10/2017 16:23

My husband would be awesome, i’d Just slow him down probably!

TriHard27 · 19/10/2017 16:24

Mine would be fantastic. Very practical and capable. Awesome sense of direction, good with weapons, very calm and collected but would happily take some zombie heads off if it was called for. You definitely have to think about these things when you get married.

Kursk · 19/10/2017 16:31

PoeDameronLovesFinn

A shotgun would be useful to defend against hostile human targets. However Our weapon of choice for zombies would be a semi automatic .22 Rifle.

beesandknees · 19/10/2017 16:34

Oh my god he'd be SO good. Honestly. We had a disaster preparedness conversation recently - if something awful were to happen, I know DC and I would be fine because he would find us and walk us across the continent if need be, and we would be perfectly safe from harm. He can make/fix/modify anything, natural leader, has advanced first aid, does solo camping trips, is a crack shot, can end a fight, almost completely unflappable.

His only weakness is that he can be overly stoic and end up collapsing because he's not resting enough. I'm quite good at forcing him to rest so it would work out.

My ex / DC's father? He would try very hard, and not do very well. I'd probably have to convince ex to come along with us because he'd be much safer under my DP's wing

Desmondo2016 · 19/10/2017 16:36

Literally in his element .

T00ManyB00ks · 19/10/2017 16:38

Mine would probably leave the front door wide open by mistake and kill us all.

Joysmum · 19/10/2017 16:40

Mine drives me made on a day to day basis.

I’m a planner and a thinker, he’s reactive and I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have on my side in a crisis.

We’re a great team in that respect. ‘Respect’ being the word though as we tend to drive each other mad

FlaviaAlbia · 19/10/2017 16:42

Realistically, I think we'd probably both be eaten tbh, what's the chances of survival in the long run if you're one of the last food sources on the planet? Unless you live on a very isolated island and zombies can't swim or sail...

However, we'd both give it a damn good shot at surviving and DH has previously pushed me out of the way of danger before himself.

pigeondujour · 19/10/2017 16:48

Are you okay, OP? Has something else happened to give you the idea to post this?

PoeDameronLovesFinn · 19/10/2017 16:49

Me: "Right, we have dried, canned and dehydrated food, potable water, cooking implements, warm clothing, medical supplies, collapsible shelter, ham radio, flares, flashlights, batteries, hand-to-hand weapons, firearms and spare ammunition, sleeping bags, rope, proximity alarms, shovel, multitool, fuel and matches."

DW: "Where are the car keys?"

Me: "Shit."

SP00KYLilBucket1 · 19/10/2017 16:53

Definitely categoryit did give us a laugh

Booagain · 19/10/2017 17:00

Just saw your comment about the fact you’ve been together a long time OP.
In which case focus on the good parts. A lot of women would want the sensitive over the macho lad.
Or, if you’re thinking it’s had it’s time and you’ve had enough? Your original post doesn’t betray what you’re thinking? Hope you’re ok

RickJames · 19/10/2017 17:03

He'd be amazing - He'd be making loads of weapons, securing the perimeter, taking care of everything physically. I'd be the one taking care of his emotions and telling him he's a winner, cos he gets a bit worried bless him

Original poster

MeganChips · 19/10/2017 17:13

I'm ok, thanks though. It was just a bit of a wistful moment when I saw the meme!

Even if it were more than that, which I am wondering on occasion these days, who would break up a family for that?

It will pass. Although if said family member says anything derogatory to me in any way the next time we see him I won't be holding back.

Back to the zombies!

OP posts:

OSETmum · 19/10/2017 17:27

Oh he’d be so bad! His ‘prepping’ would involve yelling at me to hurry up and then he’d happily let me carry all of the equipment. He’d be googling what we could buy to fend off the zombies but when he finally realised that there was nothing he’d just look on and moan about the mess they were making. Oh and he’d still expect a decent cooked dinner, non of that canned rubbish!

NaiceBiscuits · 19/10/2017 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

luckyDuvet · 19/10/2017 17:35

He'd be bloody great. Lovely to be with a practical man for a change.

CandyMelts · 19/10/2017 17:38

He'd be brilliant, he's a quiet soul but the speed he moved when someone broke into our hotel room as we slept while travelling was amazing. He's also very resourceful and excellent at fixing things and a strong rugby player type.
Of course in every day life I have to make all the phone calls as he turtles away from that sort of thing, but in zombie world I have a lot of faith in him.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 19/10/2017 17:41

Mine ' s another Magyver / Ray Mears cross. Very handy with everything.

However, he's not very fit and has a false leg. In a chase situation it would probably fall off and he'd be eaten.

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