Broken. How do I get through this?

[Whiteranbit1977]

I got divorced last year after my husband left me for a women he met at work. It was the most horrifically painful time of my life, my confidence was shattered and I was so so hurt. We have 1 ds who is almost 10. Six months ago, a guy bought the house next door, he had split up with his wife as she was cheating on him, they have 2 dc’s. He asked me out a couple of months after moving in and we have had the most fantastic four months together. I really really thought he was the one and I fell head over heels in love. I love you’s weren’t exchanged but I thought he felt the same. Last week he came over and told me that he was ending our relationship because he wanted to give his wife another chance as he still loved her and wanted things to work for sake of the kids. He told me that she is coming to live in the house and they are going to make a go of it. I asked him if thy would be moving any time soon and he said no they would be staying put. He asked me not to tell her about us. She moved in over the weekend and I’ve seen them in the garden playing the kids and they seem really happy. I on the other hand am broken. I can’t eat or sleep, I work from home running my own company and it’s all falling apart because I can’t concentrate. I’m crying all the time. How do I get through this when he lives next door and I constantly see him? He is kind of blanking me as well, a curt nod in passing. I’m am so so destroyed by this. I can’t move because I can’t afford to.

[Nosocksevermatchup]

No. I take that back, don't say a cheery hello. Blank him.

[BakedBeans47]

Hmm thinking again no I wouldn’t tell his wife. Not because of any misplaced loyalty to him but he’s proven himself now to be a nasty spiteful cunt and he’ll just deny it and make you out to be unhinged.

I hope you realise now he wasn’t worth your affections and hopefully in some way now that he’s shown his true nasty colours might make it easier for you to move on when you realise you’ve had a lucky escape.

Enjoy your well deserved holiday with your DCx

[rainbowduck]

I wouldn't tell the wife.

He is behaving very badly, but also like a man who is trying to keep his family together and feels that his previous hanky panky with the next door might put with in jeopardy.

And, of course, he is absolutely correct. His wife is likely to have a pink fit when she finds out. (And she will... she will notice his on edge, strange behaviour at some point.)

He must be stressed to buggary, hence telling you to fuck off.

The moment you tell his wife anything, you relinquish that power to make him sweat.


Keep on rising above it all... Smile at them both, and on occasion, wave, even. That would really get the little twerp's pants in a twist!

[iMatter]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

He is an utter cunt.

His behaviour makes me think he was the one that cheated on his wife and he is terrified that you will tell her about your relationship with him.

Otherwise why would he be such a wanker? He could tell his wife that you and he had a relationship but it’s over now. Job done.

[bluebell34567]

op, I hope you are well.

[PollytheDolly]

Don’t even look in his direction any more. Leave them to it and focus on yourself.

Have a fantastic holiday!

[sonjadog]

I wouldn't tell her either. Then you are the crazy neighbour...

Gather your pride and anger around you, from now on you show him a face of complete indifference. Greet if you meet, don't stop to chat. Be pleasant to his wife if you meet her. Fake it and cry inside.

[Whiteranbit1977]

Hi everyone. I came back from holiday on Saturday. Sunday morning exdh picks up ds to take him out for the day. Neighbour (I’m not sure what to call him he’s not really an ex) come round after his wife has taken the kids out and tells me he wants to talk. He says and I quote “I need to put this beast to bed before it gets out of control”. I can only assume that I am the beast in question. He said that as far as he is concerned I was a fling and although we had fun it would never have progressed into anything serious as I’m not his type. He told me that if I tell his wife he’ll deny it and she’ll believe him as she knows he’d never date anyone like me. I asked him to leave at that point. Exdh and ds came back and I broke down and told exdh the whole story. He was actually lovely, got us all a takeaway and a bottle of wine and just let me talk. He said that he is going to help me sell the house and give me some money for moving costs and whatever else I need. He even said we could swap houses if I wanted to get away for a bit. I feel numb and so hurt but I guess I’ve dodged a bullet.

[SleightOfMind]

What a horrible horrible man!
Thank goodness he showed his true colours before you got more involved with him.
Stay strong OP, you’ve done nothing wrong.

[Cambionome]

God - what a vile shit!
You are much, much better off without him.

[Mrswinkler]

And what a lovely ex you have looking after you.

Neighbour’s wife could do with knowing what a shit she has for a husband but telling her would probably only backfire.

[Guiltybystander]

Never start a relationship with a man who was very recently cheated on by his wife/girlfriend.

[SuperSkyRocketing]

Wow. What an absolute arsehole. I'd go with other PPs and say for sure his wife wasn't the one who cheated in the first place. To tell you to fuck off and then feel the need to come around to tell you you're not his type is beyond nasty, he sounds vile. You are well rid.

[MISSINDE]

What an absolute tosser!
Do you have text messages etc from him from when you were seeing him?

[userxx]

Nice. He sounds a right charmer. Please do not let this piece of shit drive you from your home. I would completely ignore him going forward, he deserves nothing from you. Rude fucker!!

[BakedBeans47]

What a cunt.

He's scared you'll tell his wife and he'll believe you so coming up with this shite.

Don't let him push you and your son out of your home. Why should you leave because of this wanker? I suspect he'll have a constant squeaky arse about you dobbing him into his wife and will have the for sale sign up quick enough.

What a bellend . You are well rid there before you got in too deep x

[Cricrichan]

Please don't be upset. He absolutely was the one who cheated on his wife and is shitting it. He lied to you and is now lying to his wife as well as you again. And his type? As if a wife is going to say upon finding out that her husband cheated again - no, couldn't possibly happen because she's a brunette and his type are blondes.

[DownbutnotfullyOut]

What a terrible shame you didn't record what he said on your phone and send it to his wife.

I really don't see why you should have to be the one to move out of your home and neighbourhood.

I said above that this had the aura of something turning nasty. Be careful OP and protect yourself because I wouldn't be surprised if he starts alleging you are harassing him to protect his own back.

He sounds a nasty one.

[Greedynan]

Wow. He sounds awful. You really did dodge a bullet xxx