If I go downstairs right now I'm going to flip my lid

[PlayOnWurtz]

I work near on full time. I have significant health issues. Dh is a bit of a cock lodger and doesn't work but he also doesn't do the house. I've been on strike for a few weeks now and slowly the washing has stacked up, the carpet is filthy with dog hair, the dinner table covered in paperwork.

I've had a lay in this morning as I'm having a flare up compounded by a heavy period that's making me feel anaemic and not sleeping at night. I can hear DH on the PlayStation shooting shit.

I'm going to hit the roof if I go downstairs.

This was a rant really so don't feel you have to reply

I thought inheritances were exempt from being considered a marital asset.
See a solicitor asap and find out. You don't want to be contributing towards an asset in the future that ypu have no claim to (decorating, home improvements).
Him sah is all very well but he is taking the piss to sit on his arse and do no housework, while you pay the bills.

Get a cleaner if living there suits you apart from housework

No, I think you would reasonably get some money out of the house.

Which you damn well should seeing as you have been providing everything else for him by the sound of it.

I take it you don't have children?

Use that angry energy this morning to DO SOMETHING. Get researching solicitors, get your data together, and go and find out if you would be entitled to a poertion of the house.

Don't waste your life feeling like this.

No, I think you would reasonably get some money out of the house.

Very much depends. No dependents that the OP has mentioned. She is the high earner as he earns nothing Length of marriage etc.

I used to live in a similar situation to you. It took me years to finally realise I deserved better and once I did sort it all out I was much happier.
I've been married nearly thirty years now to someone who is by no means perfect (who is) but he always tries as hard as I do to work at our relationship and our lives together and doesn't make the same mistakes more than two or three times which I truly appreciate.
You deserve so much better and I think you should take FizzyGreenWater's advice and find out for certain where you stand legally and then take steps to move forward.

So you use him for a mortgage and rent free home and he uses you to pay the bills. Fault on both sides then.

Staying in a bad relationship just for the free rent is awful, there's no self respect in that. Likewise he needs to start paying his fifty percent of the bills.

-They are married

• The house is their main asset

• OP has significant health issues

• so far, could be argued that he has brought the house to the table and done nothing else, OP has after that funded their joint lives. Both contributed, both now split the assets.

• no dependants doesn't mean one partner keeps all the joint assets because they originally came 'from him'. No dependants mean that it starts from a point of equal splitting. Just like if they had joint savings in the bank which came via OP's wage, I doubt she'd get to just keep them if they're in a joint account.

So yes I think it's worth speaking to a solicitor.

'Working will make him miserable' is the biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard !
For starters, my DP was similar and is much more happy, basically a different man, since starting work. Secondly, we can't all just not work because we can't be fucking bothered.
You're acting as his mum, you fund him and you do all the washing and cleaning.
You need to give him an ultimatum. He works or he leaves. Worked with my DP and now he's a perfect angel, he works, he's always in a good mood and he does cleaning around the house. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF YOU ARE NOT HIS SLAVE.

I'd be devastated if my son turned out like that!
He doesn't look after you
He's not a decent human being

LTB LTB LTB run run as fast as you can

Your post has actually made me want to cry OP. Your self esteem must be zero to put up with this. For goodness sake, find family or friends that you can go and stay with and get away from this poor excuse of a man. Today. And find the best solicitor you can afford.

Fuck that shit, leave

Does everyone else go to work for shits and giggles then? Bloody hell OP. My lid would be well and truly flipped.

Why are you still with him? Please don't have children with this man. How does he 'look after you' if he has no income? Some posts truly make me sad. I would sat leave him - but everyone else on here got there before me so you already know what we all think. Although - i believe if you are already comfortable, you won't move.

No dc?

I'd tell him that you can't live like this anymore & think the best thing is to leave & lead separate lives. Ask if that's what he wants & if not, what does he suggest you both do to change things?

If he aGrees to change put the agreement in writing & both sign it. That will emphasise the importance.

I'm in a simpler but similar position atm-we're spending a fortune on a new kitchen but we're not in the habit of getting it clean every night & Ive been trying to & to get DH on board to do so but he doesn't like to do it consistently. I'm not going to be the only one who does it every bloody night!

Why wouldn't you want to flip your lid?? Go get yourself a nice small flat and move on with your life. You'll be so much happier.

Sounds like my STBXH, even down to the paid-for home.

I left two years ago and rent a flat. I can't believe it took me so long to leave and I'm very happy now.

I'm starting divorce proceedings soon and he's still bludging off his mum.

Good luck.