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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Urgent advice needed re crazy date

76 replies

strartingtotry · 09/10/2017 11:47

So I had a date with a guy on Friday got on very well (so I thought) I had way too much to drink and ended up taking him home and having sex. We didn't sleep all night and in the morning i stared noticing him saying weird things that made me think he was controlling and was talking about us as if we were in a relationship and it was all way too full on. It took me hours to get him to leave and I was abit freaked out by his behavior. He even suggested us meeting up with my child and his kids (I would never take my child to meet a man I have met once before). Honestly his behavior was very strange. He even talked about marriage and what if we fall in love and all this kind of thing.

Anyway yesterday I told him I don't think it's a good idea to meet up again, he asked why and I was quiet honest and said he said a few things that seemed controlling and was full on. He replied this morning saying "thanks for being honest x "

Anyway I have now just had the following text from him:

Hey, good morning.....ive got a super red raw sore throat, please please don't take this the wrong way but I went down on you, could it be because of that? I'm just worried so thought it best to ask

What the actual f**k this guy is insane I'm not sure if I should reply or not! I'm concerned if I don't reply it could be a problem as he knows where I live! I feel like replying to say don't you think it could have something to do with smoking and drinking all night? Please don't message me again!

Wow he did seem controlling and this just confirms that! What would you do?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 09/10/2017 11:48

Block and delete

pullingmyhairout1 · 09/10/2017 11:50

What Shox said

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 09/10/2017 11:50

He's a fucking prick!! He's trying to punish and humiliate you because you rejected him. I wouldn't even respond to that. Or if I felt like being a knob I would reply that normally when you orgasm you squirt battery acid but as he didn't get you anywhere close to an orgasm he has no need to worry.

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 09/10/2017 11:51

Cheeky bastard!

Block him!

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 09/10/2017 11:51

nocry Grin

razzledazzel · 09/10/2017 11:59

😲 what a weirdo sounds like you've had a lucky escape! I would ignore.

strartingtotry · 09/10/2017 12:01

I think I might reply and say maybe all the vodka shots you had all morning and smoking and drinking! Please don't contact me again

What a weird guy

OP posts:
NoCryLilSoftSoft · 09/10/2017 12:02

Definitely ignore. He is getting his kick out of you being outraged and angry at his text. Responding will only give him exactly what he wants. Leave him frustrated, don't respond. Ever. And actually I wouldn't block because I would be concerned this guy knows where you live and may make threats to get your attention. You might need any proof of his contact if you need to report him to the police. He sounds scary.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 09/10/2017 12:03

No, don't respond. You're giving him exactly what he wants by doing that. Keep the power in your hands.

bonjourbear · 09/10/2017 12:04

I wouldn't reply if I were you. For controlling men, attention - any attention, good or bad - is oxygen, and if you reply he might suck you into an argument. If you ignore him he'll get bored and go away

LuckLuckLUCK · 09/10/2017 12:04

What an idiot he spunds. At least you realised what he was like and ditched asap.

He wants you to be angry and hurt to provoke a contact from you, so I would be tempted to not reply.

sooperdooper · 09/10/2017 12:06

Ugh don't even reply, he's trying to find a way to put the blame on you for you not wanting to see him again, just delete & block him - your instincts were spot on

strartingtotry · 09/10/2017 12:10

Yea I agree my instincts were right! I just feel worried now as he knows where I live

Ahhhhhh I'm so annoyed with myself

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 09/10/2017 12:10

Do not reply

Mrsdraper1 · 09/10/2017 12:12

Sounds like he got what he wanted and then said a load of stuff to make you run a mile and do the dumping.

Worriedrose · 09/10/2017 12:14

Do not engage
Once happened to me, I wasn't interested and he made up some story about going to the clinic. So I freaked out and then he said it was a (lie) joke
Just block and delete and move on, I doubt he will take it further. I was very paranoid he would stalk me for a while, but he just dissapeard thankfully.

strartingtotry · 09/10/2017 12:30

Well he was so weird and going on about how much he liked me and we are so alike etc! If I'm honest during the evening I really liked him too then he just became way too much.

I was surprised this morning when he sent a nice text saying thank you for being honest! I thought great he's cool that's good no need to reply. And even though he was nuts I still was being nice as I did get on with him well earlier I just didn't think he would be right for me.

Now I'm annoyed with myself for bringing him back to my house and I wish I never did it!

OP posts:
LuckLuckLUCK · 09/10/2017 12:32

Mrsdraper1 That seems really unlikely.

NikiBabe · 09/10/2017 12:34

Block but dont delete yet.

If he becomes more menacing you may need to report to police. Dont delete anything yet, his messages or anything. Blocked messages still go into spam folders i think so you still get them.

strartingtotry · 09/10/2017 12:51

Yea I agree with Luck - I don't think he got what he wanted then tried to make me get rid of him, he was talking about marriage, moving in together, falling in love and meeting kids like now!

I'm very relaxed when I first meet someone and show interest but not insane interest like he did, so he didn't need to say all that rubbish to me as I had already shagged him!

OP posts:
BubbaLips · 09/10/2017 13:01

ignore him op dont give him the satisfaction of a reply

merville · 09/10/2017 13:30

Oh, I'd be so tempted to say "yeah, sorry I forgot to mention I have that new strain of anti-biotic resistant gonorrhea" ...

merville · 09/10/2017 13:31

I don't even know if it's a mind game - he could just be a hypocondriac nutter

Notagainmun · 09/10/2017 13:36

Please don't reply! If you do he will have got what he wanted- to control you.

userxx · 09/10/2017 13:48

Merville could be right. He might have a really sore throat and is freaking out.

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