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Original poster

Meeting a guy I met online and he's asked me to stay at his house?

56 replies

gaynor83 · 28/09/2017 23:20

I have been chatting with a guy on Facebook for around 2 years, and we have arranged to meet up.
He lives an hour away, I'm happy to drive to see him..his town is much nicer than mine. He said it's fine for me to stay in his spare room, said he's a gentleman etc. I'm sure he is, we have been talking for ages.
I was thinking of just booking myself a room though, cos I kind of feel like I want to be independent.
Does this seem rude of me? Or should I just stay at his?
I honestly don't think he has ulterior motives. I just like my space.

OP posts:
InigoTaran · 28/09/2017 23:22

Def book a room for yourself!

bluebell34567 · 28/09/2017 23:23

its not rude at all.
I wouldn't stay with a man that I haven't met in real life before.

SinglePringle · 28/09/2017 23:23

Book, and - crucially - stay in the hotel room.

Do. Not. Go. Back. To. His. House.

You may have been 'chatting' for 2 years but his is a stranger.

Would you come round my gaff tonight? Nope, didn't think so...

MouseLandlady · 28/09/2017 23:24

Oh God! Please be careful!

Migraleve · 28/09/2017 23:24

Just drive home? It's only an hour. If you tell him you are booking a room he may have hunk you mean for him too. O he may continue to insist you stay with him.

Much easier to say thanks but no thanks, I need to be home as I have something on in the morning.

Don't go to his house at all, make sure and meet him in public

Migraleve · 28/09/2017 23:24

He may think....

JustKeepGoing1 · 28/09/2017 23:25

I would suggest maybe booking a room somewhere else for the first meeting. If it goes well who knows what can happen 2nd time round but you should have somewhere to stay because you don't know how the evening can pan out. If it happens that you want to take him back or go back to his the option is there. If not you are sorted too.

Trills · 28/09/2017 23:27

My top tip would be to meet someone in person earlier than 2 years.

But since it's too late for that, book a room and GO BACK TO IT.

CockacidalManiac · 28/09/2017 23:29

Never take anyone on the Internet at face value, whether you’ve been speaking to them for two years (!) or not.

BackInTheRoom · 28/09/2017 23:31

OP, get a room...Does he have a Facebook account with a normal amount of friends on?

NurseButtercup · 28/09/2017 23:32

Do not stay at his house Shock

But, if you decide to ignore our advice.

Before you go send his number and his address to a friend via text or WhatsApp from your phone.

Make sure the GPS location stays switched on your phone the whole time you're there.

Phone a friend when you arrive and send a text every couple of hours.

We're not trying to be fun snatchers just being cautious and keeping you safe.

Good luck Flowers

Scotschic · 28/09/2017 23:33

I wouldn't even spend the night with a female friend that I didn't know much less a male date. Of course he is going to say he is a gentleman! For all you know he could may well be very dodgy and he could have been grooming you for the whole 2 year's!!

Definitley book a room and make sure you mention this to him and if he is odd about that then you know that he definitely has an agenda, and if he is okay with it then he probably is an understanding guy -an understanding gent would realise that of course your gonna book a room- and you should meet him in a public place and tell someone where you are meeting him, don't accept a drink unless your at the bar with him or you go to bar yourself.

Have you ever spoken to this man voice to voice? Your spidey senses may let you know if something is off, without speaking then you won't ever know.

Sorry if I sound negative but I always look at the worst case scenario, its the safest way.

Original poster
gaynor83 · 28/09/2017 23:34

Yeah I'm gonna just get a room. Just for me. I think it's the best thing. I'm pretty sure he's ok but I feel more comfortable with that.
He did say he understood when I mentioned it before. I like to have my own place to go to.
Don't worry, I have no intentions of any funny business.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 28/09/2017 23:35

You don't know him. He is a complete stranger. Do NOT stay with him or go back to his house.

Scotschic · 28/09/2017 23:39

Gaynor83

Well if he is okay with this then that's good. In all honesty he probably is okay but make sure you take all the precautions first, he can't be that pushy otherwise surely he would have given up before two years of online chatting came along?!

The worst thing he may be guilty of is not looking like his picture, the pic may be 10 years old or he may have put on weight, etc, etc, you'll never know unless you go!

Good luck!xx

Original poster
gaynor83 · 28/09/2017 23:39

His Facebook account is definitely legit, and he was understanding of my wish to book a place. He just said he felt bad me driving and booking a room too...
He asked for my number and said he will phone prior to the day to make a plan. I'm just a bit shy on phone and also of meeting him to be honest.
I know speaking online isn't the same, we have a lot of interests in common so I thought it might be worth following it up. We just haven't managed to organise anything as yet.

OP posts:
Scotschic · 28/09/2017 23:43

Gaynor83

You must put your shyness aside for the call otherwise how on earth will you be able to meet him in person? You must talk to him and your gut will tell you, try to chat for at least 15 minutes.

He feels bad that you have to book a room- mmmmn not his problem and I thought he understood? Don't let him make out he feels so bad that you will think 'aww maybe u should just stay'!

Scotschic · 28/09/2017 23:45

He feels bad that you're driving...is he hinting at picking you up?! God no this is the worst idea, poor damsel having to drive her own car...mmmmn

Ttbb · 28/09/2017 23:48

How exactly do you know this guy? Are you sure he's not going to kill you in the night? If so, this is a wonderful opportunity to test him. I did the sane with my husband. Was let going home, he suggested that I stay in his spare bedroom etc. So I did, he kept his word, long story short, we're married.

laketaupo · 28/09/2017 23:49

You haven't even exchanged numbers in 2 years ?!

Original poster
gaynor83 · 28/09/2017 23:50

All good advice...well he lives in a really pretty town so i would rather go there than have him come here.
I will resolve to have a phone conversation before the meeting!
At least if I have my own room booked I can make an escape if necessary.

OP posts:
Original poster
gaynor83 · 28/09/2017 23:52

No we've only talked intermittently in those 2 years. Different things have gone one for both of us and we only really spoke more often fairly recently.

OP posts:
Scotschic · 28/09/2017 23:52

Tttb

So you think she should stay overnight at his to test if he is going to kill her?! Lol

I think even if the date goes great then she should take it slow, she is shy and I think in a way this can be a good thing as long as she chats first.

Gaynor have a chat about your common interest's, at least that way there won't be any awkward silences.

Scotschic · 28/09/2017 23:53

Gaynor83

I hope it goes well, keep us posted x

Bloomed · 28/09/2017 23:54

Hang on. Do you really really want to meet him anyway?

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