Meeting a guy I met online and he's asked me to stay at his house?

[gaynor83]

I have been chatting with a guy on Facebook for around 2 years, and we have arranged to meet up.
He lives an hour away, I'm happy to drive to see him..his town is much nicer than mine. He said it's fine for me to stay in his spare room, said he's a gentleman etc. I'm sure he is, we have been talking for ages.
I was thinking of just booking myself a room though, cos I kind of feel like I want to be independent.
Does this seem rude of me? Or should I just stay at his?
I honestly don't think he has ulterior motives. I just like my space.

Thanks...i think we will have plenty to chat about so I'm hoping it won't be too awkward.
Just feels weird I guess I'm not used to meeting people this way.
I will let you know how I get on. It's next weekend :)

I would be nervous too (also painfully shy irl). It's exciting though, I hope he's lovely and you have an amazing time and then spill all the details on here

I don't understand why you just can't come home if it's only an hour away.

Definitely a hotel room - don't stay at a 'strangers' house as you really don't know him just online him ... they can be two very different beasts

Ooooh!! Sounds fun. Please update us!!

If so, this is a wonderful opportunity to test him

And, if he fails the test, to be raped and killed in the convenience of his own home

Well at least his town is prettier than yours OP, that's reason enough to put yourself in a hugely vulnerable position.

I don't understand how people can just strike up random conversations on FB with people they don't know for two years. I don't even accept a friend request from someone I don't know.

Stay in a b&b. I wouldnt even set foot in his house so soon.

I've met up with a male internet friend before. It was okay, but despite having spoken extensively, when we did meet, I realised in many ways I didn't know him at all.

I think the best advice is to be completely independent (travel yourself, room booked), meet somewhere safe where there are other people around, don't drink too much, don't leave a drink on the table when you go to the toilet.

Oh and... do speak on the phone. My internet friend's accent and voice kind of shocked me. I was so glad I'd heard it before I met him as I might have gone otherwise.

My sil "knew" a fb guy for 4 years on fb.
She is now shacked up with him and ex h and new guy is a parasitic fantasist.

I knew on sight I didn't like a few guys even after chatting online and thinking they seemed great. I would personally meet up for a shorter daytime visit for the first time then do the staying over another time.

Also agree a phone conversation can tell you a lot. I have gone off a few men after chatting on the phone eg talked too much about his ex, didn't stop talking, odd voice, very boring, me me me, etc.

An hour is not a big deal, why are you not able to meet for coffee or lunch?

Just seems like you are investing so much before you have met him.
If he's a creep and you want to leave quickly then the money on the room is wasted.
What will it cost? £75-100 ??

As you've I've not met before and it is only an hour I would rearrange to meet for lunch instead. Less pressure or expectations and no need to get into sleeping arrangements.

This charity was set up by the mother of a lad who did precisely what you are thinking of doing and ended up murdered. He thought it was ok because he and his murderer has been online friends for years. His mum came to my kids' school and her story is terrifying.

Hopefully your friend is legit. But please be careful.

There are loads of safe ways to initiate meeting in person after friendship online. Don't go with one of the dangerous ones. Meet for morning coffee in his home town then stay for lunch if you get on, somewhere central, visible and public, then go home safely and alone. Do that several times until the friendship is established as a real one.
As Chicken says, Breck's story is heartbreaking, as his mother did absolutely everything she could to safeguard her son but he didn't do the same himself. You have to put your safety first

If you have never met him before, I would arrange to do something during the day half way between your home towns and then you both drive there and home home again. Why does it have to involve an overnight stay at all?!

Can I just say that a 'gentleman' would never invite a woman he's never met in person to stay in his house. He would suggest to meet half way for a day out.

I too would do as Appuskidu suggests.

I would most definitely meet half way for a coffee before you decide to commit to a date. Sometimes you can connect with a person via text but irl it's completely different. Its completely up to you of course but I wouldn't want to drive 2 hours plus hotel (£100?) for a first date.

If it was an hour away I'd be driving home afterwards! There's no need for you to be staying overnight at either his house or a hotel. Like pp have suggested I think you should meet for lunch or something half way for the first date, it all seems a bit too much. Good luck whatever you decide to do

I've just reread this thread-have you never even spoken to each other on the phone?!

Meet halfway?

How do you meet someone in Facebook?

Get a room, definitely. All sorts of funny folk online ;-)

@ShatnersWig I was thinking the very same. How does this work, trawl through nice pictures of friends friends? At times like this i feel very old