Post C Section Intimacy. Warning: TMI!

[Disneybump]

Please shed some light on when you felt able to 'get back to normal' post c section? I know this should be posted in the sex section but I haven't been on MN for 90 days yet so I couldn't.

I am desperate to get things going again with DH and I and I've felt this way since the day I came home from hospital! We tried once but hardly got it in (being an EMCS I thought I would labour naturally and had strengthened my pelvic floor to epic proportions in preparation, now he won't fit!?!?).

It was SO painful and that was at 2 1/2 weeks so do you think by 6 weeks it will stop hurting? I am so needy for his attention and loving and he feels the same!! Ahhh this is torture!

Your stories and experiences please

We didn't try until the six week mark (emergency cs). Then it was slow and steady until around three months. I think your body needs time to recover, you have had major abdominal surgery.

There’s no guarantees - unfortunately it’ll be different for everyone; you’ve had major surgery.

I am so needy for his attention and loving and he feels the same!! Ahhh this is torture!

In the nicest way though; I’m a bit worried about that. Is there anything else you can do to feel intimate?

I’d be frustrated after two weeks too; but you have to let yourself heal or you risk infections and pain.

I think just keep trying and when it feels right, it will be the time. I didn't have a c-section (actually had a lovely, easy natural birth) and there was no way in hell I would have been interested in sex again at 6 weeks. We didn't try again until our daughter was 7 months (also bedsharing so frankly there was no where to do it really and I was no feeling adventurous enough the first time for random places and positions around the house!). Certainly amongst my friends 4-7 months has been relatively normal. I can take time and definitely at 6 weeks, never mind the stitches, my body still felt not quite right. Frankly, neither of us had much interest! But if you want to, just give it time and try again every couple weeks and see how you do. It will finally feel right one day, but there's no magical date when it's all normal again for everyone and there's also no rush.

Thank you girls! @AnchorDownDeepBreath ok I'll level with you... by 'needy' I meant horny!! I was trying not to be too graphic! I have gone down on him every day, sometimes twice, which is great and we both enjoy but I'm missing the real deal!

In terms of other intimate attention we kiss and cuddle all night and over the weekends so I get plenty of emotional attention and love. I'm just really missing sex! I also really need to sort out our contraception because I can not go through pregnancy again!

Again, I'm so sorry for the TMI... I guess I was really hoping someone would come on and say they went for it after 3 weeks and it was fine! If anyone has, please share tips on what that first time is like so I can prepare!

What? Three weeks?! Have the stitches even healed? Of course it hurts.

Yes they came out after 5 days and my scar is well healed. I'm pretty healthy so I've healed fast, we've already been on a night out dancing for my birthday and a family mini-break to Wales, I go out most days for lunch with friends or shopping with mum so I'm back to my normal self in every other way.

It's so frustrating! It already feels like so bloody long I can't go another 3 weeks I just can't!

The stitches may have dissolved but you are still healing inside and out - it's major abdominal surgery and there's reasons why you're advised to wait before anything strenuous. It's good if you're out and about already, I couldn't walk to the end of my road at this stage after my section (!) but you are definitely not fully healed yet!

I am impressed - you go down on him twice a day and you're not even three weeks post EMCS?
I am assuming that you're either a) incredibly wealthy and have fulltime nannies and housekeepers or b)you're actually a bloke winding us all up? Lol. I am not troll hunting by the way just making a joke!

I started having sex about 3 weeks post EMCS and it was absolutely fine, no pain at all. I couldn’t imagine not being able to have had sex, I was feeling extra super horny!

I don't understand this - you're feeling horny so you go down on him twice a day... Does he return the favour?

I know deep down you are all right about needing to heal =( thank you for talking some sense into me! I need to chill and wait it out...

@Iris65 hahaha I laughed out loud at this! Sadly we do not have nannies and are not in the slightest bit wealthy!! I just really really really fancy my husband! I think he is actually at the point where he just lets me do it now! If we had anything bigger than a two bed flat I bet he would try and hide from me =D

You've just had major abdominal surgery. The outer stitches may have healed but internal ones won't have. They're will be people that are able to have sex pre six week check but the majority won't. I'd also be concerned about infection tbh.

Why is PIV the only way you can think of to have sex?

@mybrilliantdisguise he always offers but I decline in case I have some accidental bleeding... that wouldn't be nice! Mostly the bleeding has stopped, I get a little overnight but I think it's best avoided just in case. He is good with his hands though!

I really am sorry if I'm totally grossing people out with this thread!

We managed after ten days. . Very horny also!!

PIV is not the only way we do everything else... PIV is just my favourite. God I'm a terrible perv hahaha

@letmechangeyoursocks yes! That's what I needed to hear! I'm not alone hooray!!

There's a reason you have to be here 90 days before you're allowed to post in the sex topic. I had an emcs with my first baby. I won't be sharing intimate "stories and experiences" tho.

Btw... your stitches came out after five days did they? I thought all c sections used dissolvable stitches these days.

Glad your newborn is giving you plenty of time for lunches out, shopping and going down on your husband twice a day.

Can be dissolvable,stitches or staples I think.

The horniness is totally normal in my experience; two sections under my belt and the first few weeks after each I've never wanted dp more! I think it's all the bonding hormones and oxytocin. Now at nearly six weeks after my second section in basically back to my normal, ambivalent self ;)

We tried it for the first time a week or so ago and actually it was fine, but I do remember extreme tightness after my first section. Actually it took a good many months I think to stretch things out completely down there (if you know what I mean). I was told your body releases a hormone after delivery which tightens everything back up after you've pushed a baby out, except with a section that hasn't happened, hence the discomfort.

Monstamio I had an elective section six weeks ago tomorrow and I had a stitch which was removed at 5 days pp.

@monstamio why is the reason?

Nope it was a long stitch like a thread with two beads either end, the health visitor cut the bead one end and the whole thing just came out in one piece! Magic =)

Yes she's a little angel, my lunches out are with friends who have babies also and I have a great support network for getting out and about even though I can't drive. She sleeps so well through the night and day we have plenty of time as a couple which I know I am very fortunate for (and I'm sure it can all change when she has her growth spurts/cluster feeds!)

I had such a rotten pregnancy I think I am just over the moon to be feeling better finally! I have much more energy even though I'm in a constant cycle of changing and feeding!

Ok, I'll concede that point.

The pelvic floor stuff tho... And the rest.

@ratrolypoly you are SO right about the hormones!! That's all really helpful, I'm so glad you're back to normal again, it gives me hope! @winteriscomingneedmorewood so glad you understand, too! I thought it was just me

Monstamio That's the Gina Ford Method, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm mixing it up with The Baby Whisperer.

God I'm a terrible perv