Post C Section Intimacy. Warning: TMI!

[Disneybump]

Please shed some light on when you felt able to 'get back to normal' post c section? I know this should be posted in the sex section but I haven't been on MN for 90 days yet so I couldn't.

I am desperate to get things going again with DH and I and I've felt this way since the day I came home from hospital! We tried once but hardly got it in (being an EMCS I thought I would labour naturally and had strengthened my pelvic floor to epic proportions in preparation, now he won't fit!?!?).

It was SO painful and that was at 2 1/2 weeks so do you think by 6 weeks it will stop hurting? I am so needy for his attention and loving and he feels the same!! Ahhh this is torture!

Your stories and experiences please

Binty don't you have better things to do?

Women are amazing, some of us can even do more than one thing with our time.

Oh this is back up! It got deleted and my account got blocked, then I got an email saying they had to check my account but everything is fine. I'm glad MN has decided I'm real =)

Thanks @ratrolypoly!

I do focus hugely on my newborn, she's happy and healthy and BF and gaining weight and sleeping well. Which is all I can do really! But I'm not just a mother, I'm a wife too and that is also important to me.

That's why I wanted to know how soon other's had been able to resume a sex life to see if I could do the same because it's something that I miss. I love my DD and I love my DH too!

You're right, you're a wife too, i think so many people forget this.

Yeah, a fortnight after having major abdominal surgery/ new baby lots if people do 'forget they're a wife.'

I'm glad it's back too; I got a bit pissed off when it went because it's the kind of thing I'd have searched on MN for after my first c section and I'd like to have found the answers on this thread!

We're not just mothers after childbirth, and we're not just wives or girlfriends too, but we're people! I got a similar "shouldn't you be cuddling your baby??" response on a thread recently about going back to exercise after childbirth. Apparently some people think once you're a mother you have to stop being anything else; no sex, no sport, no hobbies, just baby! No wonder people get depressed

PS not knocking anyone who is "just baby" - that's totally fine - just saying there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Binty does being spiteful on mn make up for your otherwise unfulfilling life?

OP I've had three sections. The first was after a particularly prolonged failed natural labour and i was too terrified to attempt anything for about 8 weeks, and that was fine. Typical of second dcs i don't really remember how long but assume about the same, but i bled for ages so fe!t too yuck to want to. After the third i was also sterilized and after very little sex throughout pregnancy i was gagging for it. I think we did it after 3 weeks. It was fine, but gentle and slow.

After about 12 weeks pp we jokingly made a pact to dtd every day for a month. This worked so well we amended it to a year. That also went down a storm and it's now roughly 14 months on and going strong. Works brilliantly for us and we've never got on so well

Exactly! Don't get me wrong, she is my world! But so is the man I chose to have her with. Exercise is important! Having a life is important!

One of the things I really want her to have is a family that stay together and make it work. My parents are still together and in love and I was always grateful for that. It made my life better. So I want the same for her, and that means enjoying our relationship and not forgetting each other!

Last night we went to see Kingsmen in the cinema, i think was great! DMIL baby sat for us which she loved and we got a few hours just the two of us. Women shouldn't be judged for living a life they want when they become parents, I'm still a great mum. In fact, having taken the time I need for myself and my marriage, I'm a better mum for it!

@Brahms3rdracket omg good for you!!! I'm definitely gonna try this!

I had an emcs and was never in labour. I found sex very painful the first 4 or 5 times and then it got better. That was about 8 weeks post CS. I googled it and apparently it's normal for it to be uncomfortable for a while even though it wasn't vagina birth.

Vaginal ... spellcheck corrected me.

Thanks @waitingonasmile I really did find it painful! Haven't tried again since... too nervous! But maybe after a few times like you say it'll get better =)

I’m jealous of your horniness lol. I have no advice other than just take your time as an injury will only set you back further. Enjoy lots of extra foreplay and maybe get something like a bullet or a gspot vibrator as they are small and/or only really design for clitoral stimulation and make your oh to do it for you lol. Good luck with your sexy time.

Oh yeah forgot to add, doing it daily had me back in pre-pregnancy jeans really quickly. It's great exercise and not the chore I can find the gym.

I know this isn't related to your post but How do you get onto the sex section. I can't find it 🤔

It's in body and soul! And you have to be on here 90 days to post on it

We had sex about 4 days later I felt like extremely snug and it was uncomfortable for around a month but we were glad to have each other back after such a traumatic few months

Disney I completely understand the whole getting back to normal thing but I was running before I could walk and I fell to pieces about 6 months after my son was born.
I also went out dancing, put jeans back on etc but I'm not sure if I was in a fog of madness or I just had a lot of support and didn't struggle

@mowgeli you're definitely right there! It is nice to get that closeness back though isn't it!?

@ratrolypoly I just wanted to say thank you for having my back on this thread! I'm going to delete my account today because it just freaks me out how judgemental people are. Mumsnet emailed me to say they had "loads of reports" for this thread and that I need to be more careful. So you know what... it's not for me!

Thanks to everyone on here who made me feel more normal and gave advice! I think I might give it another go tonight =D

Why report this thread? There are some massive twats on here sometimes.

Good luck getting back on the horse op

Disney don't run away. Some people here are brutal and others are not.
Enjoy the hanky panky! I was also very keen after having my son

Omfg a woman wants sex and still sees herself as a separate entity to her child. Report her this can not be allowed. Ignore Disneybump some people can’t accept that everyone is different.

My wee one is 2.5, me and the oh have been on like 2 dates and I’m happy with that but as I said before it would be nice to have a libido and I’m definitely jealous of yours lol. Don’t let the bitter twats rain on your parade.

My best advice would be to a) remember you may look healed on the outside but inside is a whole different matter. And b) just slow and chill a bit and get used to just being a mummy . It's still crazily early days and you may find you actually crash and burn and are still in the post birth euphoric stage.