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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner has been lying for months

84 replies

Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 14:07

Found out a few weeks back my partner has been lying to me for months. Had a falling out with my bestie three months ago and they’ve been communicating behind my back. Few things came up that caught him out and he blatantly lied. She came to me wanting to sort things out and after dinner and a few wines told me. I just don’t know how to move on. Not talking to the friend anymore and partner wants me to ‘get over it’

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/09/2017 16:02

I would be a lot more scared of the label of being a woman who puts a relationship with a fuckwit bloke above the emotional security of her son

SandyY2K · 26/09/2017 16:05

I’ve been scared of the label that comes from a mother with two children from different fathers

Better than having a step dad who is horrible to your DS. Way better.

Think of how your son feels about it. Have you ever sat him down and asked him about it? The relationship with step dad .

That could be very enlightening.

Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:06

Thank you for all your replies.. it was all reAlt highlighted when my e. Husband contacted me regarding my son having lost his sparkle. As you can imagine I feel terrible for allowing all of this to happen

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Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:08

Honestly I cannot believe how awfully I have stuffed it all. My partner has been away and it has given me space to think. Thank you eveyone

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Brahms3rdracket · 26/09/2017 16:10

If he's away now message him to find alternative accommodation for his return because he's not welcome in your home bullying you and your son any more.

Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:11

I’m worried about my daughter. He thinks he can just take her. Not sure what my right are

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Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:12

Last time he packed his bags and my daughters he made me unpack them

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Sheila56 · 26/09/2017 16:16

He can't just take your daughter, it's just spitefulness that makes him want to do that..Seek some free legal advice regards your Daughter, and don't let him back in..think of your son..He needs a happy home where he feels valued and loved..Hope it all works out x

Binghasalottoanswerfor · 26/09/2017 16:17

You need to get an emergency Prohibited Steps Order asap to stop him removing her from your care. However if he does this before you get chance then you need to contact the courts immediately. Fill out the form they give you and arrange for an emergency hearing and she will be given straight back to you. May take 24/48 hours.

Binghasalottoanswerfor · 26/09/2017 16:18

OP feel free to PM me x

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 26/09/2017 16:18

Change the locks while he's away. Pack his stuff, invite someone round to be there with you when he comes for his stuff. If he kicks off or tries to get physical taking the child, call the police. You live in her home with her and her brother. Uprooting her on a whim isn't good for her don't let him.

MoiraRosesMeltdown · 26/09/2017 16:19

How old is your DD? Are you married to him? Is his name on the birth certificate? He sounds abusive. I hope you get peace of mind somehow.

Binghasalottoanswerfor · 26/09/2017 16:19

To get the emergency PSO contact the National Centre for Domestic Violence (I know you haven't mentioned violence but it's just what it's called. They deal with all kinds of cases including what you describe. They can get you in court by Friday

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 26/09/2017 16:20

Is he on her bc? Can you apply for residency ASAP? Then he can't just take her.

Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:23

Thank you for all the replies. I’ve had no one to talk to so this has been a huge outlet. Yes he is on the birth certificate. His while I’m
Taking her is a pure manipulation to get me riled up and upset and behaving like a psycho.

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Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:24

My daughter is 13 months old and I have tried to discuss arrangements but he cannot approach it maturely

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Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:26

I am doing the best to protect my son. He is certainly not perfect but also not a bad kid at all. Lives with us 80% of the time

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SandyY2K · 26/09/2017 16:32

Do you work? I'm not sure why he thinks he can take a 13 month old child away like this.

Is it his house? If so you need to find alternative accommodation.

Your poor DS has been beaten down by the bully.

Elendon · 26/09/2017 16:37

Regarding the threat to take your daughter. Contact the school and the nursery and tell them this. My ex threatened to take my son with him when he left to be with the OW. He was sent an email. Also, the threat is never, ever, carried out.

Butterymuffin · 26/09/2017 16:38

Yes, is it his name on the house? If so then I would pack up and go when he's not there. Get someone to help you. If it's your house or joint then you may need the police to get him to leave without him trying stuff.

Elendon · 26/09/2017 16:39

She may not be in nursery/school then. So ring the police. It's a form of abuse they recognise, and you will not be the first person to discuss this with them.

Also Women's Aid.

You are a good mother.

BitOutOfPractice · 26/09/2017 16:41

Oh OP he sounds like a horrible bully.

Is he away now? whose house is it?

Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:43

Thank you. We rent. I work full time and earn more than him. Our daughter is in a wonderful family daycare. The car is in his name anc he makes me contribute telling me I am in arrears to him

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Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:45

I truly believe he has many insecurity issues. He mocks you, puts you down etc

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Original poster
Letsgoagain · 26/09/2017 16:45

Even his mum has said he is nasty

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