I told (D)H last night that nothing in life depresses me as much as him.

[SickToDeathOfHim]

and all he could say was "cheers"

I'm 33 years old, have 4 kids and the way I feel at the moment I'd be alot happier without him.

I'm sick to fucking death of him.

(name change just incase anyone searches my usual name....regulars will probably know who I am but please dont say)

LTH, so sorry you are going through this atm. FWIW, I tend to behave like your bloke (try and move on but not admit fault) and dh is like you (likes to talk and get things out in the open). I think the reason why I can't bring it up and discuss what I've done/not done is that I always feel it will end up in yet another row, like I'm feeding dh the line for him to hang me on yet again! So I try to make my actions speak for me, in a "look, I've taken it on board, I'm now doing it, and I'm sorry", kind of way. That said, I can understand how bloody irritating it is and I will often these days apologise without too much prompting (though dh will say I'm still rubbish at it!!).

I guess he has read the thread and sees that he is in the wrong with his attitude. Why else would he have moved all the stuff out of the conservatory (IMO)? But all to the good tbh.

You could try giving him an opener to apologise if you wanted - eg "have you got any thoughts you want to share on what we argued about the other day? Can we just discuss it briefly then move on?" - ie, lets not have another row, but lets talk about how each of us feel about it. He may or may not take you up on the offer but it may be worth a try.

I'm sure he's not mentioning it for that reason exactly Mioau. He doesn't want a row so he's just ignoring it.
Ok maybe not ignoreing it but thats kind of what it feels like.

I'd be gutted if he said to me I make him depressed.
It feels like he doesn't give a flying fudge about my feeling because he hasn't acknowledged them in words.

I'm not going to bring it up, I don't want a row either( and besides I only end up crying) but also because I don't think it's my job too.

I think the fact that the PC was off is more of an indicator that he's read it TBH.

He would have done teh conservatory at some point without me asking but the PC being off is odd.

It's never off during the day.

Sorry you are so down. (We do know each other BTW, I have changed my name). It sounds like both of you need a good break together on your own, and time to talk properly. My dh moans at me because my cleaning ethic is not the same as his. It p*sses me off too.

Then you're right, he's probably read it. As to the saying it. Men don't think like we do. They don't need to acknowledge with words. TBH, my DH has a silver tongue, and is very charmiing, but sometimes his actions tell me exactly what my feelings mean to him, and often not in a good way. So, perhaps it's better this way?????

Can you not go somwhere to talk about it where you know it won't turn into a row ?? Trying to think where, but somewhere a bit public but not too public.

I think it's a good thing if he read it, and i agree he is probably now embarrased, but if it makes him realise how you were feeling then thats no bad thing.

Aww LTH

I'm no good with this sort of thing but thought I would post since you have so lovely to me over the last week.

I hope you can sort out something or maybe get to talk so he can understand how things are for you.
I know my dh can be the same at times and I find the only way he can truly understand is if we do role reversal. So he stays at home with the kids and I naff out of the way. He's admitted that its a hard job and he has gone from a man who thinks that its quite possible to do all jobs in the house in a day to just do what you can and I will help when I get home.

So sorry you are going through such a hard time, LTH. I went through a very tough time with my H when my DS2 was a young baby, and it got to the stage where I didn't want to come home to him.
Is he like this constantly, or are there moments when you get on ok?
I would never try to confront my H when he was in a mood, but when he turned all sweetness & light & I was still upset by his behaviour, I would sit him down & tell him how much his behaviour was upsetting me & that I wasn't prepared to take much more.
He would often appear to listen to me when he had calmed down & I would get an apology.
Things were so awful when DS2 was around 5 months old, that it actually took him threatening to leave (hoping I would beg him to stay) & me saying "Good - go!" for him to get the wake up call he needed. He realised that he had become so unbearable to live with that I would actually be happy for him to leave me!
We had a huge talk after this, with lots of tears from both of us & he promised me he would change his ways, which he did...for a while!
If your DH has read this thread, it may not be a bad thing tbh!

Could you maybe look into some counselling or family therapy? Would he be pepared to try something like that?

I really hope things improve for you & your DH.x