Question about wills/DHs money

[MyPatronusIsABadger]

Hi, just looking for any points of view really.

DH has cancer that won't be cured, seeing as this is a money/relationship WWYD I thought I'd put it here instead of in another section of mumsnet.

DH doesn't have life or critical illness insurance. He had been too Ill to get it so now that he has cancer I'll just need to pay off the mortgage or sort something out. Luckily/sadly we have no DCs.

DH does have death in service at 3 times his salary which will be paid in full when he passes (hopefully longer than a year away which was prognoses before chemo). DH has been talking about wills and wants to leave over 10% of death in service to our friends/neighbour who we've had over to dinner a few times. They are so lovely, really chatty and generally nice people. Wife can't work due to disability and husband is full time carer/they have 3 kids.

However DH talking about giving away money is actually upsetting me. I'll have to get back to working/paying bills when all I'll want to do is curl up and cry. I've not said this as it sounds selfish as just under 90% will come to me. It's not about money, I don't know what it's about but it's hurting me so much. Is this nor all? That's all the money there is, I'm 32 and we got our house 2 years ago.

Please give me a shake or tell me about provisions you've made, I know I'm burying my head in the sand but I don't want to be upset over moneys to a time like this.

Tell him. Tell him he's being very kind but that you don't know how you will pay the mortgage when he's gone because you might not be able to hold it together enough to work.

Sykadelic, I did read your post, but the reality is that life and circumstances change and the only way to have any degree of certainty is to place one's intentions into the Will.

Anything else is quite frankly meaningless and believe me it is not necessarily to do with him trusting her. There could be many other unforeseen events that could occur.

I just don't think it's a good thing to recommend. But that's my opinion.

A PP mentioned transferring the earlier pensions to a SIPP(?). Please contact an IFA, as I would have thought a SIPP would be a money purchase type of pension. The Civil Service one and the military one will be defined benefit/final salary ones which are much better in terms of income.

It may be possible to get a transfer value from them that will allow him to buy extra years of service which will give you a much better income.