Younger women, Older men

[1DAD2KIDS]

I appears to me that there does seem to be a bit of a trend towards younger women dating older men. Maybe it always has historically. The reason I say this in mainly anecdotal and a generalisation but it appears a trend to me:

A lot of older couples I know are men who are significantly older (10 yr +) of the women, especially when the woman is not their first long term relationship or wife.

In a few threads on here over the years I have seen older women say the men their age are only looking for younger women say 20 years younger etc.

There has been many threads where people have posted about being left for a younger women. Likewise my ex wife left me for a man about 15 yrs her senior.

On the other side my experience on OLD is that many women are only looking for an age range of men their age or older, a little bit younger but vastly older or only men who are considerately older. I see very few women's profiles that have an age range that will consider men a fair few years younger.

I have read a few articles titled the likes why millennial women want to date older men or why I date older men. I read a philological publication article that suggests that this is normal for men to seek younger women and women to seek older men, we are wired that way.

We see that in many high profile celebrity relationship the woman is often 10 years + younger than the man.

Even when I was school I remember a lot of the girls dating guys in the years above. No one could get a look in with the most fancied girl in my year group because she had bagged her self a 20 yr old bloke with a car and some cash to splash. How could any of the boys competed with an adult who had his own car and plenty of money, we weren't even older enough to drive let alone have much pocket money to spend?

Maybe there are a few members on hear who have settle down or only dated older guys. I read one poster on another thread was saying the man she fell in love with was twice her age at the time. Maybe shed some light of what is the attraction to older guys?

Yet we see/hear very little about men dating vastly older women. Obviously it happens and there are examples but it very much seems the norm for the man to be a fair bit older. Is this a really as a common a thing as the above points lead me to wonder? If so great I suppose for older men and younger women. But not so great for younger men or older women.

I only date older guys, I'm 23. I just find them more physically attractive. And, have you met many guys my age? No thanks!

For some men.

Handsome men and/ or men with a lot more than average going for them end up with a bigger than average age gap.

I married an older man after spending my twenties dating man-children my own age.

You can wait for them to grow up, or you can find a grown up.

Meh people are all different. My first ex was 18 years older, that lasted 12 years, next ex 5 years younger. I suppose some shallow twats will pursue "the best that they can get" but most people just bimble through and click with who they click.

I have a feeling women think that older men will be more mature which is obviously attractive ! I think most women have been with a man who's an immature twat 😂
Also I think in media older men are shown to be sexy and people to aspire to be with. Older women are shown to be unwanted and unattractive so that must have an influence on people

What do you define as older?
At 47, a 57 year old man might class me as an older woman but that gap would be a bit too wide for me.

Max 7 years i think.

My ex was 10 years older which felt attractive in my early twenties, but I much prefer my current 8 yrs younger dp. He's definitely a grown up, and very much a man.

I just wonder if the younger man /older woman scenario ,isn't publicized as much ? My personal experience is different , most of my relationship s have been with older women , one was 15years older . It might just be me as I had to mature quickly as my mum died when I was a teenager and my father ignored me.
I'm still attracted to slightly older women although as I near fifty I may well have to scrap that lol!
Could also be I was looking for a mother figure though ,don't need that now.

Isnt fertility something to do with men wanting younger women? I read a study on this once.

Quite a lot of younger women date an older guys wallet, and I mean significantly older!!

I think we hear a lot more about younger women and older men, in a more positive tone. Almost as if society wanted to normalise it.

And before anyone says anything I haven't noticed many younger attractive women dating guys who aren't at least decently 'comfortably off'

Of course there is, and most definitely historical precedent, when women are valued for beauty and men as providers this is the optimal of both- young, beautiful woman, rich, wealthy man. Not always right but it's there. Additionally, women are taught that older men are authoritative, powerful and sexy but older women are mean witches, past their prime and dowdy.

All about the money IMO.

I read that BR62Y

I'm male & my preference is for older women. I guess everyone is different

Chances are if a man is with a slightly older woman you won't know or notice. I bet even the older men/younger women couples you've seen don't have a huge gap - case in point several Asian female colleagues in their 50s look half their age. Their partners look their age. You'd see older man/younger woman if you didn't know the truth.

Are you dating a much younger woman, 1DAD ?

I normally prefer younger men! Current dp is 11 years younger than me. I seem to attract younger men too.

Swear down that when I met my older ex he was skint. I just liked him. Then loved him. Then he got successful and turned into a knob. He's probably in Thailand as we speak.

My DH is 22 years older than me. I have always preferred older men but never intended to marry someone twice my age. It just happened - we fell in love and have lasted 18 years so far.

I met dh in my early 20s, after swearing off older men (ex had been 10years older). Dh is 10years older than me. In my defence, he still l doesn't look his age and I was gobsmacked when he told me. I was the higher earner then too. Think I just am now. I worry I'll be widowed just at the point I lose my pulling power. I know, I'm shallow. It's why I'm with dh in the first place: looks trumped job.

When OP talks about a 'trend'

I think actually the trend is moving away from women choosing men who are stereotypically providers. More and more women are more than capable of providing for themselves or understand that men often think that money/age gives them more rights in the relationship, so if there are any trends emerging (backed up by statistics) to support an increase in age gaps then I'd be surprised tbh.

Also meant to add - we were both skint when we got together so definitely not about money, status, etc. We've done the "for poorer" and "in health" parts of the marriage, we are now starting to enter the "for richer" and "in sickness" phase.

My fiancée is 11 years older than me, always dates guys my age before him. Age was nothing to do with it just met, clicked and I'm crazy about him.
F-all to do with money as another poster said, I earn more than him and an debt free unlike he was coming into our relationship.
He has 2 kids from previous marriage who I love, don't want kids of my own and he wants no more so suits us both. When we realised we were getting serious we had long chat about future and if it would work with the gap and we're both on same page.
I don't think there is any rhyme or reason why people fall for each other so I don't think you can ask the 'reason' for going for an older guy, it just happened to be an older guy I fell in love with. I'm sure some people actively look for them for reasons of their own though.

My DH is older.