Younger women, Older men

[1DAD2KIDS]

I appears to me that there does seem to be a bit of a trend towards younger women dating older men. Maybe it always has historically. The reason I say this in mainly anecdotal and a generalisation but it appears a trend to me:

A lot of older couples I know are men who are significantly older (10 yr +) of the women, especially when the woman is not their first long term relationship or wife.

In a few threads on here over the years I have seen older women say the men their age are only looking for younger women say 20 years younger etc.

There has been many threads where people have posted about being left for a younger women. Likewise my ex wife left me for a man about 15 yrs her senior.

On the other side my experience on OLD is that many women are only looking for an age range of men their age or older, a little bit younger but vastly older or only men who are considerately older. I see very few women's profiles that have an age range that will consider men a fair few years younger.

I have read a few articles titled the likes why millennial women want to date older men or why I date older men. I read a philological publication article that suggests that this is normal for men to seek younger women and women to seek older men, we are wired that way.

We see that in many high profile celebrity relationship the woman is often 10 years + younger than the man.

Even when I was school I remember a lot of the girls dating guys in the years above. No one could get a look in with the most fancied girl in my year group because she had bagged her self a 20 yr old bloke with a car and some cash to splash. How could any of the boys competed with an adult who had his own car and plenty of money, we weren't even older enough to drive let alone have much pocket money to spend?

Maybe there are a few members on hear who have settle down or only dated older guys. I read one poster on another thread was saying the man she fell in love with was twice her age at the time. Maybe shed some light of what is the attraction to older guys?

Yet we see/hear very little about men dating vastly older women. Obviously it happens and there are examples but it very much seems the norm for the man to be a fair bit older. Is this a really as a common a thing as the above points lead me to wonder? If so great I suppose for older men and younger women. But not so great for younger men or older women.

Culturally I think we are still a male orientated culture. Women who date much older men are going for the traditional being looked after. Imho

Oh dear oh dear thats twice tonight. DH was the part time worker due to his health I was the full timer.

i meant the last post light heartedly btw.

There's just this annoying 'trade off' where it seems older men will overlook a lot just for a younger woman! I have to say I'd love a younger man but most don't seem serious about an older woman.

Although loads of young men seem up for a fling!

What do you mean they will overlook a lot.

Post weight loss ive been asked out a few times. The youngest one who asked me out was 23........the oldest...........72

Fertility and security. Evolution and culture.

Mini Great to see you back on here

Younger men are more sexually compatible with older women in 20s and 30s ... apparently ..

I think actually the trend is moving away from women choosing men who are stereotypically providers. More and more women are more than capable of providing for themselves

I don't see the trend of women choosing "providers" going away at all, and I don't think women working more makes much of a difference. If by provider you mean a good/high earner, responsible etc. -- to be honest I don't see that so much to do with age, as high earning and stable young men are always in demand (but of course older men are more likely to earn more and own their own home, which provides stability). In my experience, women with good careers want someone who earns well even more than the average person, as they want someone who can "keep up" with them.

My partner is a month shy of being 5 years my junior, Hes 23 on Friday, and we got together a month after he turned 17 when i was a week past 22 :P

Incidentally, he is much more mature than my ex who was 2 and a half years older than me, by lightyears.

It really depends on the person, when it comes to physical attraction i can find a guy attractive whether hes 18 or 48 and anywhere in between. (i'll be 28 next month)
I think 5 years either way is probably my cut off though when it comes to actual dating. I don't want to have a bigger age gap than that so we aren't too far apart with regard to the point we're at in our lives. I struggle to care for myself adequately due to MH disability, i wouldn't cope having to possibly take care of a much older partner if they become physically or mentally ill in old age. On the other hand, i don't want to be too far ahead of a younger partner with regard to wanting to settle down (i'd ideally like to be married before im 30 but i might have to settle for 35 or even older) for my current partner he'd only be 25. I can't have children so thats not a factor, no biological clock feeling like time is running out or anything.
I don't think i could actually be intimate with a man much older even if i did find him ridiculously attractive. Getting on for an age he could physically be old enough to be my father (so 15+ years older) i think i'd get creeped out by.

I think as women earn more, and it becomes normalized, society will move on from women expecting their male mate to be be a protector. You can see it already with some high earning Asian females (CEOs and the like) - they are very much looking for a trophy husband in the same way as their male counterparts and want someone attractive, potential high earning but willing to stay at home with the kids. A much younger age is no longer a barrier.

My DH is 22 years older than me. Nothing to do with money, if anything I had more than him in the beginning. You can't help who you fall in love with and it has nothing to do with anyone else as long as you are happy.

Thank you Helena

I forgot to add social pressure and psychology!

It's quite interesting I think to look at this historically and in terms of class. I'm on phone, I'll try and contribute something later.

I'm in a long term relationship with a man 16 years my senior, I'm 25, most men my age are still immature and not ready to settle, this is the main reason

My dh is 5years older
My dad is older than my mum
My fil is older than my mil

I don't think age matters as long as you are happy.

@doingitallagaintoday - not all. All of the 25 yos I know are married or marrying responsible 25 yo men. Depends on the man not the age.

I'm 29, any younger than 25 would be a no from me. However my current very new boyfriend is 10 months younger than me

He's the first man in a long time I connect with and can see myself building a future with.

Not in all cases of course but women will need to go older to get a more mentally mature man. IMO women are overall more mentally mature then men.

I am in my mid forties , am recently single and the state of men my age and older on dating sites is frankly appalling. They are mostly badly groomed, overweight and have terrible photos. I can't understand why anyone would want to go out with them, let alone a younger woman.
I am not perfect and certainly am a bit heavier that I used to be, but I look after my appearance and regularly get hit on in real life by guys in their twenties and upwards. But I don't want a relationship with someone who is still living like a student!

My partner is 19 years my senior. Whilst I find older men more attractive generally due to mindset, life experience, ability to hold a stimulating lifestyle and conversation etc my current relationship is not typical in that respect. Nothing to do with being cared for, secure, financially stable. When we met I was the more financially & emotionally secure, whilst he was in a bit of a lifelong mess. Whilst this has changed over the years security/ stability is not something that necessarily coincides with his age. People cannot help who they love.

My father was 20 years older than my mother, I think traditionally men were expected to be a little older to provide for their wife. I prefer men who are slightly younger than me. My dsis is married to a man 20 years older than her, to me he is an old man and I would never find him attractive. It doesnt help that he is a sexist, pedantic bore though.