The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?

[Mouseface]

Hello, 'tis me, Mouseface, welcome to the Bus, aka Gerarld.

We're a bus full of various Babes, from those who are as dry the Sahara, those who drink in moderation, those who binge drink and can go for weeks without a drop and then fall arse over tit (pardon the french!) straight off the bus and into the sidecar, and then we have Babes who try every single day to give up.

The thing is, we all do 'this' ONE DAY AT A TIME and with passion too. You have to WANT to stop with every fibre of your being.

And that's what this bus is about. We support each other. No matter how many times you fall of the Bus, we'll always be here to scoop you back up and listen.

So, come and join us. Lurk, or grab a seat, make sure you're comfy and enjoy the journey as we talk about the dreaded drink, plus everything from how expensive Tena Lady's are, to what's in the slow cooker!

We don't judge, this isn't a competition, it's our lives.

And if you'd like to read the last thread, HERE IT IS

Plus, if you'd like to see where the Bus started out, you can RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon xx

Deary me, where's Barrie? I had a very small piece of good news (I've had 2 really shit years) and immediately wanted wine to celebrate. Ffs!
All good now, under a blanket drinking some lemonade.
I notice that there's lots of threads about drinking at the mo.

Making dinner just now and this is usually where I would be swigging away at wine.

I've got a pint of black current squash instead....

Ah well- I will feel better for this in the long run

Ugh, I'm about dying here- really want a drink but I can't even have one because I know I have A Problem.

Was tempted at the weekend but didn't (yay...) but now my arm hurts and I'm tired and I've had a bad day yada yada.

Good news is I have an appointment with a consultant about my arm tomorrow and some nerve test so that should be done and I can get it operated on.

Which will be interesting because they'll try to give me opiates and then I'll have Another Problem.

Weak mardy wave to all you guys, I'll just skulk at the back for a bit.

I love the phrase "skull fucked". it comes from my military friends and means when you brain is absolutely overloaded and you are exhausted mentally!

@dementedma that's reassuring. My understanding of skull fucked was far more sinister...

I think you and I are on the same page, 13 because it certainly conjured up some unsavoury images for me! Too much US TV I think

Hi all, been away for a while, but just checking back in. Still trying to moderate and have been AF for 4 days now. Too much to drink last Friday and it was DS's birthday treat on Saturday and I had to herd him and seven of his slightly irritating (well, they are 8-10 year old boys) around for most of the day - that'll teach me! I keep falling off the bus and climbing back up again. It really helps to read how you're all getting on though, and to know I'm not the only one who struggles. DH offered to get me wine from the corner shop this evening and I was sorely tempted, but said no .....I want to do this.

Morning lovely babes!

Just wanted to share something from my email inbox - it's from Belle, the wonderful woman behind the "Tired of Thinking About Drinking" website:

*This is worth doing
because you are worth it.
Being sober is worth doing
because you are worth it.

Any shitty sober day
is better than a new Day 1.
And any improvement that you can make
to the quality of your life
is worth it for you.

You don’t have to do it for your family
you don’t have to do it for your kids
you don’t have to do it for anybody

you doing it for you is enough.*

I love this message. Happy Thursday everyone.

Morning all.
Thank you for all your good wishes. Work are letting me go early so I'll have four lovely days off before I start on Wednesday.

Sorry not to name check everyone. The bus is speeding along right now!

Ma skull fucked 🤣🤣🤣

RubyRed2017 Oh yes, the fear I call that, when you wake up and have a faint memory of the night before. I also have the urge to slap Dr Foster and buy her a new grip in Aldis

holdthewine I'll join you on the back seat. After a great start to the year I spectaculy fell off the bus and managed small journeys where I'm AF . I think aiming to do Sober October is my next goal.

Anyone heard from made I was worried about her after her last posts I read. I hope she's ok.

Mint enjoy your time off. Lets have a whip round to buy Doctor Foster a grip. And yes, I call it the "beer fear"

Margie that's a great poem. Seeing abstinence as self-care is great. I love her post about "sobriety is like a little car" although I think the analogy should be that it is going uphill!

Flowers thats the sort of offer that would make me cave too, perhaps ask your DH not to offer to buy you wine in future?

I have done 7 days AF out of 9 since I joined the bus. So I've saved £49 on wine plus whatever other crap I would have bought to justify the trip to the shop. My BP is down again this morning, having gone back up after the weekend, I must start recording it. Evenings are better. I'm finding it easier to get everything done and have DD to bed at a decent time - aiming for lights out at 8pm- and then I still have some energy left to be able to concentrate on a tv programme without falling asleep. I want to reclaim my evenings for "self-care time" to do my nails or other little beauty tasks so that I feel a bit better put together. I've been taking sleeping pills and for the first time in ages I'm having to set the alarm because I am sleeping without interruption. Previously my sleep would be very disturbed so I wouldn't need the alarm. I'm also trying to eat more healthily and not drinking means I have more energy and time to plan meals. I haven't lost any weight, but I feel less bloated. I am relaxed about this as I think that if I can keep up the abstinence then the weight will come off in time.

I feel calmer, although still very sad about my relationship breakdown. But this morning I feel good about myself as a person for going AF :)

Day 5 here.

I've had no serious wish to have a drink, but I have felt dents in my armour of 'never again', like imagining the end of the working week, or even thinking, 'well, I'm on five days now...that's good isn't it?'

It's definitely the wine witch.

Triggers include being bored, being tired, being in a good mood, being in a bad mood, being stressed, relaxing, socialising, being on my own...

Dystopian your triggers sound like mine, plus breathing is one too.

I had a really bad craving for wine and a ciggie this evening while cooking the tea. I ended up stuffing my face with chocolate hobnobs while cooking -not great . But I resisted the wine witch and remembered the advice to wait an hour and see if it still seems a good idea.

I enjoyed having a cuddle with DD and putting her to bed tonight. She is getting slowly better about going to bed without making a fuss -it's been a battleground ever since her dad moved out. Being sober gives me more patience and helps me be firmer with her. Awful to admit but it's true.

You're both doing really well. I conquered my WW this evening by falling asleep immediately after dinner. Woke myself up by snoring loudly. Just in time to catch the last bit of eastenders. Rock'n'roll me.

guggenheim well if it worked for you, don't knock it!

I got through the evening without having a drink or a ciggie. The latter was only because I have forgotten where I hid my packet of fags though. Disappointed to report that the Thorntons Continental were not what I remembered from childhood when my parents' rich friends brought them as a treat. The Lily OBriens ones that I had from Tesco before were surprisingly nice considering the brand name sounds like an Irish pub, I was expecting them to be Guinness flavoured.

I need to find a way to deal with the time around when I get home and make dinner. That's my lowest willpower point and I am also starving but dinner isn't ready until I make it. So yesterday I was inhaling chocloate biscuits as soon as I walked in the door. Maybe I need to have a late-afternoon snack before I leave work to keep the energy levels up.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. I have a quiet AF weekend with the kids planned.

Dystopia and Ruby, I too recognise all those triggers - spooky
The biggest one for me though is the weekend
Currently sitting here wondering whether to try and be completely AF or just moderate from this evening...

Ruby my DH is a worse drinker than me, unfortunately. I had a brief chat with a Relate counsellor online yesterday, because I find myself getting irrationally (I think...) angry with him when I'm sober about small things. He's my second DH and I want the marriage to work...anyway, the counsellor said we're 'enabling' one another, and making big lifestyle changes, like packing in the booze, would be expected to have a big impact on our relationship. So, it's complicated and not easy. I see you recently left a relationship and sounds like it was the right thing for you. I definitely felt that way when my first marriage broke down too, but it's still hard, so good luck with it all .

guggenheim I do the waking myself up snoring thing sometimes too, classy

flowers I just came on to say that the weekend is triggering me as well, snap! I don't have any plans to go out and I just got a big wave of "Friday feeling" - go on, you deserve a drink, treat yourself! You haven't had one all week! How about a nice cold glass of white and a Marlboro?" ARGGGHHHHHHHH. I am actually quite likely to manufacture a reason to go out for a drink as I have banned myself from drinking at home. Must stay strong, must stay strong...

Oh dear re your DH. I completely understand the enabling. I've totally seen that in friends' relationships. It may be extremely difficult for you to make the change if he is not on board. He will not want you to change as it means admitting he has a problem.

My ex wasn't a drinker as it happens, despite his many flaws that wasn't one of them. I used drink to cope with my unhappiness in the relationship. I don;t blame him - drink has been my go-to since before I knew him.

RubyRed2017
Yep I have that Friday feeling too. Especially as I went in for my last shift today and was sent home after three hours as it's quiet so not needed.
I feel like I should be celebrating!

Yup, the weekend is a major trigger for me too. I just keep thinking of how good it will feel to have a Saturday with my husband, little girl and no hangover whatsoever. Nice breakfast stuff, some juice, bacon and croissants - will pick them up after dinner!

Ugh well I gave in and had one drink at the pub. Home now and have got a bottle of AF wine. The worst of the craving has gone now. Just need to get DD to bed then I can snuggle up in bed with a cuppa, some chocolate and telly on the iPad. That's become my new evening normal and it's all good :)

had two glasses of red and have stopped now. Going to go to bed soon - try to wait until at least 9pm as I'm getting earlier and earlier every night.
End of week 2 in the new job and getting settled in a bit. Learning the new lingo too - who knew that when we write FYI in an email, they write FYSA.....for your situational awareness. it's a whole other world behind the wire lol

Hello, i wonder if there is room for one more?
I have had many hidden addiction problems in the past but it's the vino which is trying to take hold again. I am on maternity leave with a 2month old little darling and the boredom/loneliness has worn me down. I have had a glass of wine every night for the last few weeks and now my partner is beginning to notice so the sneaking has started. I went up to two last night. Nothing tonight so far.

Also, thank you to holdthewine for pointing me towards this thread :)

Well done mydearfriend. We have a similar history but I have transferred from food to wine! They're a friendly bunch on this thread.

Lots of us on here are on a last attempt at moderation before going AF if we can't do it. So my moderation has been okay even if not as good as planned. I was AF on Weds had two G&Ts yesterday (probably too large as homemade) and have had two glasses of wine several hours apart today (declined a second at my friend's). Second was red at home which somehow doesn't give me the "I want more" to the same extent. I'm sleeping better than when I drink too much.

Mint and Guggenheim and my other chums I'm glad we are all still hanging onto the bus.

Day 7...

Sounds like people have been doing well with abstaining/moderating. For myself, I know if I'd have touched a drink last night I'd have been waking up to the best part of two empty bottles this morning I just get carried away...

Welcome to the bus dear friend