The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?

[Mouseface]

Hello, 'tis me, Mouseface, welcome to the Bus, aka Gerarld.

We're a bus full of various Babes, from those who are as dry the Sahara, those who drink in moderation, those who binge drink and can go for weeks without a drop and then fall arse over tit (pardon the french!) straight off the bus and into the sidecar, and then we have Babes who try every single day to give up.

The thing is, we all do 'this' ONE DAY AT A TIME and with passion too. You have to WANT to stop with every fibre of your being.

And that's what this bus is about. We support each other. No matter how many times you fall of the Bus, we'll always be here to scoop you back up and listen.

So, come and join us. Lurk, or grab a seat, make sure you're comfy and enjoy the journey as we talk about the dreaded drink, plus everything from how expensive Tena Lady's are, to what's in the slow cooker!

We don't judge, this isn't a competition, it's our lives.

And if you'd like to read the last thread, HERE IT IS

Plus, if you'd like to see where the Bus started out, you can RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon xx

Ah mint chuck it down the sink and go to bed. October starts tomorrow. We can do this

Dementedma and whydoikeepon - yes I'd love to do it! My huge fall down is the weekend every fortnight where I don't have my kids. It turns into what is basically a 48 hour bender. I've put on three stone since Jan... I just don't know how I can keep off it when I have these nights out and stuff. I get really depressed too which doesn't help...

Oh dear god, I've been up every 15 mins since 4 am with screaming child. I can't even begin to say how glad I am that I stayed af. Small children and hangovers DO NOT MIX.

On the other hand, sleep deprivation feels just as bad as a sodding hangover. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I want to cry and sleep for the next week. Maybe do some more crying after that.

Right, having slapped myself with Barrie a few times, i wonder if we could think of some good ways to support each other when it all seems a bit boring? However determined I am I know that feeling bored and hard done by on a Friday night is a big trigger. I also know that those feelings will pass and I'll be much happier for staying sober, but that doesn't always help at the time.

People who are long term sober (not me) must find ways to get through that, so what do they do??? Right now I just sort of accept that it's a bit boring at times and distract myself. I've bought some good vitamins because I feel low sometimes, which I don't notice if I'm drinking. I watch Netflix and read and chat to Dh.i'm too knackered and broke to do much else.

Hmmm...what else helps? I'm not complaining btw, if I really want to drink , then I'll drink but right now I'm choosing not to. There are loads of brilliant reasons to continue, see sleep deprivation above,but it would be silly to ignore the fact that sometimes it is a bit boring and underwhelming. Is it just a phase? Will it pass? 😎

Count yourself in namechange.
guggs that sounds shit. You must be knackered. Right, you have just volunteered for occupying the sober October babes in the evenings...or making a list of suggestions. Its boredom that gets me, every time, or a crap day at work (mint are you ok).
How about a quiz one night? I love those ones which are a collage of images which areis all titles of books.
I was AF last night to get ready for this and SO want to do it. However, I know there may be glitches or loophole days - a VERY big presentation in London next week for example, which will merit a glass of champagne- but its this mindless drinking at night that has to stop. Come on Babes, we can do this!

I'm in for Sober October, I won't bore you all with the details (I'm sure guess some of the low lights).

I'll start with October and then see how far I get (too scary to say it's forever!)

I need to sign up! Made a fool of myself at a party last night. Husband annoyed with me. Can never just have a couple. Feel horrendous this morning and fear today will be another day wasted because I'm hungover. Not fair on my little girl

I really struggle to keep track of PP's when posting on my phone, so apologies for not name checking you all properly. Hope you are OK Mint. And hope small child is no longer screaming and you get more sleep tonight, Gugg.

For me, the worst binges are on nights out or they start with an innocent g&t followed by a glass of wine with a meal at home. DH has never not opened the second bottle when I've suggested it (not trying to shift blame BTW). If I don't start drinking with a meal I am unlikely to have any booze later at home.

So I need strategies to avoid overdoing nights out. Starting with soft drinks rather than expecting drunk me to alternate later on might help. Or driving, when I'll be AF. And nights in, I will be asking DH to help enforce my moderation!

But, it is now October so I'll stay AF for 31 days, I think. This month we have DD's b'day (will want a stiff drink after that party), a wedding and a holiday. Need to keep this memory of waking up on a Sunday morning without a hangover!

Hope you and your dc are alright gugg. Are they unwell? If it's the one thing I struggle with as a parent it's sleep deprivation, it makes me very grumpy and emotional. Fingers crossed you manage to get a doze today at some stage, don't know if you've any others to contend with.

Best of luck with the presentation ma

I love the caboodle quizes although they make me realise I'm not as well read as I think I used to do futurelearn courses at night when I was bored but they do require concentration which is something I fear I'm lacking in at present. Finding myself very absentminded lately but I'm stressed with job hunting and upcoming appointments for one of the dc which is probably why.

New totally understand as I get the fortnightly weekend to myself too. It's like trying to squeeze every ounce of freedom with no responsibilities into 48hours. Although I often regret the fact I don't rest more as I feel like shite when they arrive back.

Gugg any chance for you to have a nap on the sofa whilst children watch Cbeebies? Sleep deprivation feels a lot like a hangover to me.

I had two large G&T's last night but stopped. I got the wine out but didn't pour it. I ate a massive chinese takeaway to compensate. Not sure I'm going to be losing any weight this month .

My plan for Sober October is a lot more reading - I've got a tonne of books sitting by my bed that I havent touched, always too pissed or recovering from being too pissed. I have picked three books and will aim to read all three by Halloween! I am also going to make a couple of photo books for family and a friend thats emigrating. I have no tech skills so they take me hours. I might also take myself to the cinema, its 7 miles away so Ill have to drive.

Good luck to why for your Sunday lunch.

Hi, sorry if this is a little bit long...

I have briefly snuck on the bus in the past under another name but then fell right off it. I hope you don't mind my boarding again. I am a regular MNer of many years standing, in completely different areas of the site. I am going to do sober October as, hopefully, the start to a lasting change, if not total sobriety then at least a much better lifestyle. I have to do this.

I am what I suppose you would call a functional alcoholic. I am middle-aged. I have a demanding and high-level professional job plus my own business, and a family, I am the main (only, really) breadwinner etc etc. So on the surface looks like I am functioning at a really high level. I always get to work on time and looking fine on the outside, do my work to a high standard, earn very good money, socialise, have a good marriage, eat healthily, etc etc.

But also...I drink every night. A lot. Often to the point of blackout/passout (especially in the past year). I cannot lose the creeping middle-aged weight no matter what I do, I feel like shit most of the time and so don't exercise much, I suffer from depression and anxiety (although no-one outside my family would know). I have injured myself frequently from falling when drunk, sometimes quite badly. I have some other health conditions which are either caused or exacerbated by the drinking. My DH has had to carry me upstairs or cover me with a blanket on the floor more times than I can count. I've wet the bed on a number of occasions. The self-loathing which others on here have described is a permanent feature of my inner world. The disconnect between who I seem to be and who I really am is stark.

I have always been a drinker (and had other substance issues in the past) but it's become worse in the last few years (just the drink, I don't use anything else any more). I don't know if I will be able to change but I've done a lot of difficult things in my life so here goes...

PS please forgive the self-indulgent first post and the lack of acknowledgement of all the brave ladies on here. I just wanted to get that down in black and white, to explain to myself as much as anyone else what is really going on...

SilverandRuby welcome back you brave thing, you're in good company.

Ok Babes, Sober October - can I cheerlead for self care please? If anyone cares to recommend books and films that would be great.

Remember, if you slip up it's not failure and not a reason to think 'fuck it' you just pick yourself up and try again next day.

Ok, facepacks to the ready , let's do this - with nicely painted fingernails and smooth legs yes? We'll come out of October, glowing, better read, wiser and richer.

Rose lemonade here we come.

I am going to exercise (esp swimming/aqua class) as my form of self-care. The danger with books and films is that you can do that and drink at the same time! I can't drink in the swimming pool! I never usually go to the cinema (easier to sit in front of Netflix and drink) but I think I might try to do that (will have to go with my son, as my DH doesn't do cinema, too long for him to be without a ciggie). Actually, DH is also trying something new, he has switched to e-cigs for at least half the time, so I am drawing some strength from admiring that, he has been a heavy smoker forever so if he can do that I can do this!

Welcome ruby
Had a wobble already this afternoon but managed to resist and had tea and toast instead of a Sunday afternoon glass of wine.
Going to have a bath and body scrub to kill some time...

Hey - please may I join?
Have been lurking for a while but Silvers post inspired me as this is actually me (well mostly anyway).
I need to get sensible - so trying sober October as a start - but will need a lot of hand holding........

Heres a hand Doris now jump on, plenty of room

Welcome doris. How are you all getting on so far?

Thanks luxury and demented*! I feel more positive already just from joining - I really want to do this - I have to ...

Welcome Doris. I am determined and will just look at it as one month for now, that seems doable. When I was pregnant and breastfeeding I managed it, so I know I can do it...things have just crept up over the years...

Hey. I'll join you for Sober October if I may. To my surprise I've clocked up a head start (for once) having done sober September too, though in part that has been because a bit of a health scare kept me on the straight and narrow. Even that is odd, though, as usually any scare becomes a reason to drink to drown my fears. Anyhow, I am feeling cautiously and quietly positive and delighted that I can join other babes on the sober October bus.

One day at a time and no self-recriminations if we slip, yes? That's the only downside to these sober month thingys (though there was a great Sober Mummy post a bit ago outlining various other drawbacks too) - I tend to get disproportionately despondent if I 'fail' and hit the bottle even harder as a result, thinking 'oh what's the point, I've blown it now so I might as well drink myself stupid for the rest of the month'.

Silver welcome. Your post perfectly describes my situation too (except I've never had the courage to have my own business - that's super cool of you). I find that gap between successful professional exterior and wine sodden paranoid (in my case) interior fascinating and scary. Just shows how insidious and clever alcohol is - and how easy, sadly, it is to fool so many people, sometimes even ourselves included. But I can say, if it helps at all, that after a sober month, the gulf between interior and exterior me is much more narrow, and I feel much less bewildered and battered as a result.

What's everyone up to tonight? My DC are baffled but cautiously delighted that I'm keen to read to them of an evening these days, rather than using any excuse to get back downstairs to the wine bottle. Can't afford to think about the times the WW had caused me to shortchange my children during their little lives. Must try not to overdo the sober pedagogy though - they're looking a bit overwhelmed at my endless attempts to make amends by over-explaining anything that floats across the horizon.

Go us, anyway - babes, we are fabulous and we will get there, maybe bedraggled and battered along the way - but at least we'll have some fun en route.

Hi silver I totally know what you mean. I'm not even sure how I got to this - I feel so disappointed and that I've let everyone down - no-one in my life signed up to be with a lush

Ozzde that's exactly it! I try and shove all of my irresponsibility into that one weekend 🙈 I'm afraid I've failed ladies - I didn't realise it was October today and I've just had the half a glass that was left in last night bottle...

Alright babes, look, we are adults with jobs, businesses, kids, pets, hobbies, y'know stuff going on. We've loved to sink into a drink to relax but for lots of us one drink became 3, became 5 and we all lost ourselves a bit.

This month we find ourselves again, little by little. An early night here, a good book there.
Trust me there's more to life than white wine, not easy but let's take that first step together.
Between us we can support, have a laugh and everything in between.
It's one month, let's give it a go.

No newname you didn't fail, you tripped. Easily done, dust off and start again.