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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ungrateful sod or fair enough??

101 replies

Filly46 · 07/09/2017 18:28

My DP of one year has just had his 33rd birthday. As part of his gift I spent over £100 on tickets for both of us to attend a sports game I knew he would love. I spent ages online trying to get the best seats and spent time on creatively presenting them as a gift. (Decorated American football with the date of the event, teams etc)
Upon opening the gift he told me that he already had plans to go with his friends (I had no idea).
The game is a month away and they haven't even got to the stage of buying tickets. It's just been loosely arranged that they will plan on going.
He's told me sorry but he's already told his friends he will go with them and perhaps I can sell the tickets online instead to someone else.
I feel like a complete idiot as the gift was such an anti climax and I felt embarrassed.
I suggested maybe we could meet his mates at half time for a drink instead but he has refused.
Am I right to feel let down/upset by this?

OP posts:
Ineedmorelemonpledge · 08/09/2017 12:59

Oh op I remember a very similar feeling of WTF when I gave my STBEXH two tickets to his favourite band (Green Day) at a very special concert that was held open air in the piazza of a beautiful town.

His reply, wow that's great - who should I take? Hmm

It's up to you really - if he has form for this, is generally unfeeling, or just spoke without thinking first.

Just keep the tickets - any event like this is fun to attend even as a non fan.

TheStoic · 08/09/2017 13:02

Ungrateful sod. He's just not that into you, unfortunately.

Colourmylife1 · 08/09/2017 15:31

Disney fair enough. You make a good case. Maybe that's why he's an exH! I asked DS who's a huge NFL fan what he'd do and he said no question - he'd go with his girlfriend. I guess I'd be questioning the relationship in this case.

TrailingWife · 08/09/2017 17:46

You know, if you do go the game, it will make a great story to tell future dates. You bought tickets to an NFL game for your ex boyfriend, he was a jerk and didn't want to go with you or want the tickets, so you went with a friend and had a good time, NFL games are fun.

You'll sound like the perfect woman to so, so many men. My god, it would work on Brits, Americans, and even some Canadians.

feckoffpeppapig · 08/09/2017 21:39

have you posted this before? Ive read this a few months ago

Disneybump · 09/09/2017 00:14

Colourmylife1 thank you! I hope I didn't come across to scathing and sarcastic! Sometimes the things I mean to sound funny don't come across properly written down... I also am extremely high maintenance and get very passionate about ladies not being treated right!!! Disney Princesses all the way ♡♡♡

Inertia · 09/09/2017 09:32

I'd sell the tickets, just as he's suggested. Then keep the money.

I predict that he and his mates won't be able to get all the tickets they need, so your boyfriend will want to use the ones you've bought for him and a friend. He won't want to go with you. If they've been sold then tough.

timeisnotaline · 10/09/2017 21:06

I want to come back this and find the op went to the game and had a great time and bf sulked at home as didn't have tix! Or similar Grin

ferando81 · 10/09/2017 21:23

He doesn't love you If he did he would go with you-it's that simple

thereallochnessmonster · 10/09/2017 21:27

Well, he's a lazy, ungrateful, disorganised fuckwit.

Do you want to be with him? What did he get you for your bday??

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 10/09/2017 21:46

The OP is on another thread that suggests she broke up with him a few days before starting this one. I hope she dumped him and not the other way around.

user1480334601 · 10/09/2017 21:47

Update please OP! did he get tickets?

GetYourRosariesOffMyOvaries · 10/09/2017 21:49

Oh he's vile OP

Gemini69 · 10/09/2017 22:00

arrange to go to London with a friend and you bloomin enjoy your weekend and the tickets Flowers

HolgerDanske · 10/09/2017 22:33

Whatever you do don't end up giving him the tickets!

Go and enjoy the game with a friend of yours.

PoppyH56 · 10/09/2017 23:21

Not clingy in the slightest, you have thought about what he would enjoy the most and have got to a lot of time and effort to get him it. I have been to football and rugby matches with my OH as birthday presents and even sat through a whole day of PGA golf for a big birthday for him. We do these things to make them happy. He doesn't deserve you or your time. I would dump him OP and sell the tickets for more money then spend the money on a day out with a friend! Screw him, what an ungrateful arse

Filly46 · 11/09/2017 22:48

Hi all! Thanks for the support and it made me realise ending it was for the best. I knew I would never treat him that way and so it made it quite obvious how he feels. The last straw came when he then asked me to save the tickets until he found out what he was doing. In the meantime a friends of mines DP said he has been dying to go and would happily buy them off me. I ended up selling them to him and then my now ex came back to me saying he would now "be happy" to go with me and can I not just tell this other guy they were not for sale anymore!
I'm genuinely gutted but if I'm honest with myself I've been overlooking lots of red flags that I shouldn't have. Sad

OP posts:
HipsterAssassin · 11/09/2017 23:19

OP - you rock! Good for you. I'm sorry it came to this, spend a couple of weeks licking your wounds and then get right back out there. In time you will laugh at the idea that you ever went out with him.

Til then there's FlowersCakeGin

Apileofballyhoo · 12/09/2017 01:04

Sorry you're upset OP but so glad you've dodged a bullet. WineBrewCakeFlowers

Doublemint · 12/09/2017 07:41

Good for you OP! What a twat, you really deserve better than being a back up option x

cakecakecheese · 12/09/2017 07:47

What an asshat but actually it's kind of good he reacted this way because as things haven't been right it sounds like it's given you the push you needed.

Disneybump · 12/09/2017 22:56

It takes one hell of a woman to realise her self worth and act on it! Good for you ♡ that said... break ups are always hard, I hope you're ok

Gemini69 · 13/09/2017 12:45

bloody brilliant.. he was treating you like a wee safety net ... well done Lady Flowers

Howlongtilldinner · 14/09/2017 07:14

Dug his own grave there OP. Good for you. Don't give in to his nonsense when he tries to come crawling back..which I guarantee he will. Chin up..things will get better x

CookieMonster54 · 14/09/2017 19:37

As a male NFL fan who dragged his bored but lovely DP to one of these games, I can tell you, if she did for me what you did for him, I'd be over the moon.

Your DP is an ass. I'm not saying that's a dumpable offense, but he's an ass.