Please remind me it is normal to wade through rivers of awful men on online dating until you meet someone decent...happy stories only please!

[grobagsforever]

In a nutshell- widowed 3.5 years ago, boyfriend of 2 years has ended relationship. Gutted although I knew it had no future so know I will be better long term.

I'm getting straight back on the horse and have signed up to a couple of dating apps mainly to distract myself from thoughts of Ex. So far it is immensely depressing. Everyone is either stupid, pervy, unemployment or living on a mates floor etc.

Tell me stories of wading through a bunch of no hopers to find someone wonderful. Please. I'm 36, 2 kids and need hope.

I was 36 with two dc when I joined ok Cupid and met my now DH (who is dozing beside me). We were at the wedding of a friend of his last night - they also met on okcupid.

I've been lucky but there definitely are good people out there

Cant help you there....I met now dh on first throw on Tinder...are you on there? At least you get to choose who can message you etc and nobody you dont like the look of can get hold of you

My friend married her tinder match just last month!

grobagsforever is a longstanding poster - you should at least advance search before making inane comments like that Charmatt

I met a good friend on a dating site. He is now happily married to someone else he met on the dating site.

I'm still hoping

I'm with the OP although round here they all are free bitds at 35. By free birds I mean never married no kids (Peter Pans) so still live like students after work, they all love travelling at a spur of the moment and do extreme sports, which you can't do that much if you have a kid like me!

OP why do you feel the need to start dating straight away? You've been through a lot in the past 3 years so maybe have some time to yourself.

Back to subject at hand. Sorry to hear about the end of your relationship grobags my dear.

You know I didn't do the OLD thing and just got lucky with meeting DH2 through work. So I don't have any knowledgable advice, on that, sorry. I've got a few friends at my WAY group who met new partners through a specialist dating site for wids. Have you seen it? I am find out the details of its of any interest.

Friend met her now wonderful husband on Tinder. Took her 2 years of wading through dross. Took him 3.

The good guys/women are out there!

Thank you Somerville (and hi!). Yup I'm completely real and just looking for a bit of a boost please. The last few years (death of husband, death of close friend, raising tiny kids alone, and now end of a relationship) have been indescribably hard. But I will not be kept down. I can totally handle life alone, I'm very independent, good job, own house, wide circle of friends etc. But I know life is better with a loving partner and I want positive stories to give me hope, please.

I noticed when my friends were on match there were lots of men posing with fish, is this a thing??!

Is it a subliminal way of saying "I am hunter and can provide" or alternatively "I'll leave you every morning at 4am to sit by a pond for 6 hours and I'll come back smelling of moss, just a heads up"'

I miss the days when all you had to do to find a man was to hit a club, have a snog and then start "seeing each other" with none of this dating palaver.

I have found it easy to get first dates. Unfortunately they have all been with people I would swerve in real life. I am completely hacked off with it all.

You're amazing, grobags.

I just asked DH2 which OLD sites are best for potentially finding adult relationships. (He's like "what are you up to on your phone?")
He said he hated Tinder - meat market feel, and definitely the worst, at least in london where he was at the time. He had a few interesting dates from the Guardian and that's what he would recommend.

Because teachesforpeaches I had plenty of time for myself in my last relationship...it was odd. I was felt very single a lot of the time.

When DH died I grieved hard. I learnt to be alone. I know who I am and what I want. Life is short, may as well crack on and find it.

Thanks those who have posted happy stories

I was on match a few years ago. I was a single mum and late 30's. I met dp, been together 8 years now with a d's (4). Yes there were lots of men with fish and plaid shirts, drunk lads in group shots so you didn't know who you were looking at. Lots of people 'went travelling' , very often to machu pichu, and had eclectic taste in music. I waded through lots of men who just wanted dirty talk including one who 'had to go home for a wank' because i wouldnt shag him within 3 hours of meeting him. I did however meet some really nice people and it got me out and about again! Gave me lots to laugh about with my mates! My sister uses POF and has lots of funny stories but has more or less thrown the towel in now. The paid sites are the best I think. It was great for me but don't use it if you are a bit fragile. Lots of people chat and disappear, don't get back to you after a date etc and it can be hurtful if you are still feeling a bit wobbly.

Stuck ex boyfriend on My Single Friend. He wasn't a terrible bloke, just very wrong for me. He married the girl he met on there and they have gone on to have DCs.

I joined Match 3 years ago after my divorce. I met a lot of men for coffee (I thought of it as a pre-date rather than a first date!). All perfectly decent seeming guys - just not for me. I had one 5 month 'relationship' which was great fun, good for my ego but had no future. Then I met the guy I have been seeing now for 20 months and we are very happy. I was his first date on Match.
We recently attended the wedding of a friends who met on Match.

I met my DP 5 years ago on POF.

I had a few dates before that which weren't awful. Think I was lucky!

It helped that I hid my profile and could pick and choose who to contact myself, so could weed out the unsuitables.

We were both also on Match but it was all the same people as on POF, so a bit of a waste of money.

Girls, know your red flags!
It does not have so much to do with luck but being able to see the whole picture.
Read about healthy relationships and start trying to recognise what is unhealthy. You need to know your red flags.
Abusers (to take fuckwits to the extreme) are most of the time very charming, wolfs in sheep clothing. Once they have you hooked they start injecting some nasty behaviours.
Basically self help books and therapy might help you to find better blokes.

Met my DH on an Internet chat room, think it was msn, it wasn't a dating site. That was in 2001. He moved 250 miles north to be with me, we have five grown up children between us but none together and have been married 13 years this year. He is my soulmate. Neither of us were looking just there for a laugh, both going through horrible divorces at the time. We'd lived parallel lives but miles apart util that point.

It's not always been easy but it's been worth it!

Good luck, I hope,you're lucky.