Please remind me it is normal to wade through rivers of awful men on online dating until you meet someone decent...happy stories only please!

[grobagsforever]

In a nutshell- widowed 3.5 years ago, boyfriend of 2 years has ended relationship. Gutted although I knew it had no future so know I will be better long term.

I'm getting straight back on the horse and have signed up to a couple of dating apps mainly to distract myself from thoughts of Ex. So far it is immensely depressing. Everyone is either stupid, pervy, unemployment or living on a mates floor etc.

Tell me stories of wading through a bunch of no hopers to find someone wonderful. Please. I'm 36, 2 kids and need hope.

I just remember that my first ever contact on online dating was a guy who wanted to go to a swingers party. He couldn't go as a single man.

I blocked and moved on. Was quite shocked though that I was having to contend with that type of request. It's funny now .

OP I would try online dating but also just socialise as much as you can. You never know who you might bump into.

Hi grobags. I remember your thread when your DH was in hospital and thought of you often since. I can't believe that was over 3 years ago!

I left an abusive marriage and started OLD a few months after my divorce was finalised a year or so later. I have 2 DC with my ExH and I was really worried about getting it right, for me and them. I tried Match and talked to quite a few guys but only went on one date from there. I was quite conservative with who I messaged and had a standard reply prepared for anyone who messaged me who I didn't want to talk to. I downloaded the Bumble app (a bit like Tinder in that you both have to 'like' each other first but then only the woman can make the first move towards chatting), went on a couple of dates and met my now-DP. I still can't believe my luck, honestly. He's the most wonderful, kind, patient man and treats me far better than I deserve. We met last November and have a lot of fun together :)

There were a few weirdos on both sites but they made for good stories for my friends and I never felt in danger in any way. There was one man who suggested a hookup in a seriously swanky hotel but no one else was quite that brazen!

My best friend has since met a lovely guy on eHarmony too.

I was single for years and have always been very independent. I have bought DD up on my own and although I had a few flings along the way, I hadn't had a serious relationship since DD's father left and I really didn't want to settle for someone that wasn't quite right.
When DD hit 14 and started spending more time with friends, I decided it was time to make an effort to find someone for myself. After a series of disappointments I met a lovely man, when we met, he told me it was his first date in over 20 years, he had split up with his wife the previous year and I was his first attempt to meet someone new. As we chatted I knew he was different and thankfully he liked me too! That was a year and a half ago and we've just moved in together 🙂 There are good ones out there so just bide your time and don't compromise on what's important.

Where are you based? I met my wonderful DP on a London-centric website called Lovestruck five or so years ago. We bought a lovely house together and are currently trying to conceive our first child.

I'm just so happy I clicked on his profile (it was the shared interest in Curb Your Enthusiasm which piqued my interest!)

Best of luck to you.

Magpie

I met DP on match 2.5 years ago. i had done internet dating for a long time but got sick of ending up in long distance situations. Came off of it and ended up single and searching for a few years (I was in my 20's)!

I caved and rejoined match. No one I spoke to took my interest. I left and rejoined a lot of times until I finally met DP. He's is everything that I could wish for but it took a long time to get to!

I remember that feeling of disappointment I would get after rejoining and seeing no one that I was interested in out of hundreds in the search results!

I joined Tinder almost exactly a year ago in order to troll hipster men with ridiculous beards and wrote an absolutely horrible profile for myself that listed such delights as 'teratomas', 'dank memes' and 'sporning' as my interests in order to reel them in. Amidst all the terrible handlebar moustaches, pretentious interests and weird outfits, I swiped right on just ONE person that I actually genuinely liked the look of, even though he was eleven years younger than me, and he super liked me back shortly afterwards and then was the first guy to actually send me a message. He ended up being my first and only ever Tinder date a week later and we've been together ever since. In fact I'm just about to book a restaurant for our anniversary date next week!

I honestly had SUCH low expectations of the whole thing, but approaching it with a 'I don't care what they think of me, I'm just here to have fun and maybe make some friends along the way' attitude really seemed to work for me.

Good luck OP.

I got married to my partner who I met on tinder just 2 weeks ago :-) tinder is good as it shows who you both know. Turns out we knew a lot of the same people and just had never of crossed paths. He was a builder at the time and was very strangely working on a house about 4 doors down from me when we matched and even stranger, had just completed a friends house (at the back of my house) extension! I would of walked by him every morning and afternoon taking my kids to and from school and never even knew.

We have had our ups and downs like all relationships but it can happen. Just wait. I went on a lot of awful dates, spoke to a lot of very very weird men online and just when I was about to give up, he came along x

Met my DH on Guardian Soulmates age 36. Had loads of crazy, interesting & awful dates before him; but I was his first date
We are celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary this month.
He is my best friend & we have a lovely six year old son. I can't believe how lucky I am!
So, in summary: Guardian Soulmates!

Met my lovely DP of two years on tinder. I treated dating a bit like interviewing for the position of Life Partner. I went on probably 40-50 first dates, three second dates, and one third date who was DP.

I met them early, and if I didn't 1) fancy them a bit and 2) get on with them so well that I didn't want to leave at the end there wasn't a second date.

I thought DP had a lovely face and great eyes and we left the pub as they started stacking chairs on the tables and turning the lights off!

40-50 dates jasmine??? Urgh. I admire your persistence!!

Met my current partner after going on match for 3 months. Had a few dates before him, met someone else who I saw a couple of times but wasn't right. Everyone I met for a date was genuine as far as I know but not everyone I messaged etc were, some were scammers!!!

Met my DH online almost 10 years ago (Social media rather than a dating site)
Been to two wedding this year; both the couples had met online (POF, I think).
Most of my friends who are in relationships are with people they have met online. Definitely worth keeping at it!

Found out my ex was cheating in May 2008. Went on Guardian Soulmates ( had always had good luck on there in the past) in July 2008 and met DP.

Together 9 years now and very very happy. I wish that I had met him earlier as I was 38 when we met and he would make a fantastic father, but that ship has sailed for us unfortunately.

He is a wonderful, kind, generous, thoughtful man and I love him beyond measure.

Don't give up hope OP, there are some blinders out there.

After a bad time with my abusive ex I wasn't prepared to put up with time wasters. I spent about a year going on first dates with guys who were amazing on paper but had zero chemistry in person and blocking the guys whose messages became increasingly creepy. Met The One... he was a bit strange on paper, he didn't seem my type but I thought "what have I got to lose?" First date and BAM! Totally head over heels and we get married next week!

Ah. Great stories! It is so hard not to become dispirited. Getting messages from men 15 years older than me who can't spell etc...

On the upside I haven't contacted the Ex once. Rah.

I'm engaged to a fantastic guy I met online.

I was a 34 year old single parent and thought I would be alone forever! Thought fuck it and threw myself into OLD, I used POF and chatted to loads of nice guys. Whittled it down to about 5 who I set up dates with, all in the same week, in for a penny in for a pound and all that.

Had my first date on the Tuesday, guy was very nice, arranged to have dinner on the Saturday night.
Lined up another date with a different guy on Friday, coffee Saturday with guy 3, coffee Sunday with guy 4 and dinner Sunday with lucky number 5.

Went out with guy 2 on the Friday and cancelled everything else, fell head over heels and we're getting married at the end of the year.

I was his first ever online date! I genuinely couldn't be happier and he's the most amazing person I've ever met.

Good luck!

Yes totally normal; met a whole line of losers online till I was lucky enough to click on dh's profile. I was 39 and divorced. Never looked back.

Oh yes, I have plenty of horror stories, too. 4.5 years ago and after one too many disaster dates I decided to give myself till the weekend and then I was coming off OLD for good. The Friday night I was messaged by a man that is now my gorgeous partner. I adore everything about him. So glad I gave myself those last few days. :)

Oh, I was 40!

This family

What reading can you recommend?

Hmmmm. I'm too scared to get a POF account despite all the positive stories..hear some horror stories about it :-(

I met my DP on Tinder. We've been together 2 years next month and will be buying a place together next year- I had a 3 year old when we met and he was notorious in his friendship group for being 'anti kids' so happy endings can happen, even in the unlikeliest circumstances :)

Hi, I have recently met a great guy on Tinder, it's early days but going really well. I hated the idea of Tinder and didn't ever think I would do it - you definitely have to be selective! - but it is a really easy way of testing the water and as others have said it's no unusual for a first date to just be a coffee so you're less committed.

I did have some horrors (men basically looking for someone to mother them which makes me run a mile).

The guy I have now met showed me around where he works (!) on our first date as it happens to be somewhere I am mega interested in.... and then as we got on so well we went on for dinner and got a bit pissed 😂

Good luck!

I also met my DH on a dating site but I also met some right weirdos before I met him. On the plus side, I had my friends in stitches when I told them about some of the dates I went on.
All in all, so long as you keep it light and don't expect anything it can be a laugh going on a dating site (either laughing with your dates or at them)