OH just burst out laughing at me in a swimsuit

[thiskittenbarks]

Currently hiding in the loo sobbing. Tomorrow we go on our first sun holiday since having our first baby (10 months ago).
I gained 5 stone during my pregnancy but lost most of it. I'm now pregnant again (about 7 weeks) and have just stopped breastfeeding, so my tummy has shot out - and my boobs... well they're not what they used to be. But all in all I feel fairly body confident, especially considering the above. Was a size 6 pre-preg, and am now a size 10 - pretty good going really. Last time I tried on my bikinis / holiday clothes (a couple of months ago before I was pregnant) they fitted okay but obviously a lot has changed since them. I was just trying one on (one that had always made me feel really good about my bod) and he comes in and literally bursts out laughing. I burst out crying and hide in the loo.
It really didn't look that bad. I mean, I wouldn't have worn it, but I certainly didn't think it was comically bad.
I'm the type of person who always laughs at themselves, but this just wasn't funny. I think he was a bit shocked at how upset this has made me. It hadn't occurred to me that he might not find me attractive anymore, because I felt so happy with my body and what it had done (made baby, fed baby for 10 months, start making a new baby). I feel like a pile of turd now, and certainly not a pile of turd that fancies donning any form of swimwear around him any time soon.

What a nasty piece of work he is.

What a horrible excuse for a man.

Did he even try and excuse himself?!

What happened next?

Oh hun :( what an insensitive arse.. I really doubt he intended to upset you and I do hope he makes it up to you by reassuring you how much he loves you and your absolutely amazing and totally hot bod.
Chin up lovely, remember you are allowed to feel extra sensitive over everything after all you've been through and all your new pregnancy hormones all over the place... just let your tears flow and blow your nose, it's ok to be upset. But I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings x

What a dick. You're right, your body is an amazing thing and I bet you look great.

Please don't let him stop you wearing your swimwear

Why didn't he laugh? Is it too small? Do your boobs spill out or something? There must have been something comical rather than him actually laughing at your body! Unless he's a total twat?

He has known you through many iterations of your body, and presumably still loves you, so he may not be aware just how fragile changes to our bodies can make us feel.

He may well not think you look awful at all! If this is a swimsuit he has seen you in many times before and suddenly it just doesn't fit like it used to, it may have just been startling. Doesn't mean that your body doesn't look good, just that that swimsuit now looks funny on it!

I know sometimes when I was pg I would put on something 'from before' and burst out laughing about how ridiculously small it looked on me now. But I felt great about my body when pg.

Everyone thinks this before they go on holiday and when you're there you don't care! That's what I find anyway.
He shouldn't have laughed but sometimes costumes look daft in the house.
You are tiny. You will look fabulous.

What a horrible man. His reaction doesn't change any of those lovely facts you listed and it shouldn't change your happiness with your body, although I totally understand why it's upsetting.

Has he apologised yet?

Adalinde beat me to it.

Stupid man.

Oh, bless you. He needs to grovel, for a very long period. Silly man.

when you say you usually laugh at yourself... do you mean you're genuinely relaxed about him teasing?

Or that he teases you and you've learned to put up with it gracefully, because if you don't he huffs and says you're being humourless?

If it's the second, he needs to fuck off

By the way I gained 5 stone too having kids. You will lose it gradually and that's the healthy way.

I assume he looks like George Clooney in his swimwear?

He said I was pulling a hilarious face at myself in the mirror as I examined myself / jiggled my boobs around in a comical fashion.
Surely no matter what face is being pulled, it's common sense not to laugh at a woman tentatively donning swim wear.
Part of me feels like not going on the holiday...the other part feels like packing nothing else but the hilariously ill-fitting swimsuit

That sounds really insensitive.
But could it just be that it was the swimwear being 2 sizes too small, rather you in swimwear generally?
If you're a size 10, you can't look that bad. Maybe it's a question of getting some new swimwear that suits your now more womanly shape, with support if you think you need it.

Unkind. No wonder you're upset.

Dh laughed at me once but I had attempted a cartwheel prompted by kids. Actually never seen him laugh so much..

He's not horrible. I realise your upset and sensitive, and he certainly shouldn't have laughed, but you're describing being 2 sizes bigger now and squeezing into a bikini you wore when you were 2 sozes smaller. That does sound quite amusing- I know I would look silly in a swim suit 2 sizes smaller.

Yes you've done amazingly well to lose all that weight and I bet you look fantastic as a size 10. Don't feel down about it. Don't assume he doesn't find you attractive.

What's important is how he acts now he knows how upset he has made you. Hopefully he will be extra nice and reassuring.

Sorry you feel so sad about it, but he will know how well you've done. It may not wven have occurred to him that you're sensitive about your body changes.

I've got a bra from my teenage years, I've gained 2 kids, 4 stone and 6 cup sizes since then. If I tried to put it on I think my OH would laugh himself inside out.

From your description it doesn't really sound like he was laughing at your body. Just the silliness. Still quite insensitive though.

It was probably the jiggling and pulling a face that made him laugh. Your body is amazing. Treat yourself to a new cozzie and set him some tiny white speedos. Forget to pack any shorts or trunks (or hide them until you've made him suffer)

Seriously, how bad can you look at size 10??

I mean this in the nicest possible way but are you sure he wasn't laughing at your pose not realising it stemmed from self-conciousness and you're slightly over reacting?

I say this as someone who, approx 7 weeks pregnant, told DH he clearly didn't love me at all because he did a poo in the bathroom before I had brushed my teeth...

Wear that bikini with pride and celebrate the body that gave you your beautiful baby and is currently carrying one too! I'd be upset too, it's a knobhead thing to do. Wear something you feel comfortable in and hopefully he'll give you the reassurance you need. Every time you feel shit about your body just look at your baby. All worth it honey

A pregnant woman trying on her bikini to see if it fits isn't remotely amusing NSEA. It's a pregnant woman whose body has changed, trying on her clothes.

I can't see the joke in that. Not really 'amusing' that a pregnant woman isn't the same shape as she was when she bought the bikini is it?

get not set

and yes he was insensitive

Best wishes for a lovely holiday.