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Original poster

would this bother you?

70 replies

Nadinexo1 · 29/08/2017 16:31

so, a while back I was talking to my partner on the phone during his lunch hour as he calls me everyday to and from work and lunch time. I was cooking at the time so had my phone on hands free. as he said bye i thought he would hang up as I couldn't as I was chopping vegetables, anyway I heard his colleague say "who was that girl who came in before"
partner replied " new customer"
colleague "she's fit, does she need an engineer out" (they work for a telecommunications company)
partner- "she needs my dick in her" then they were laughing. at this point my partner must've looked at his phone and realised he hadn't hung up and I heard him say oh shit then he hung up.
I didn't say anything until he came home and I went mad but he insisted this is how guys talk and he was sorry but it's not the type of thing he usually says. I accepted this but it still gets to me.
Am I right to be pissed off?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 29/08/2017 16:32

Ugh he is disgusting. Is this the first time you've heard him talking like this? Does he go out with friends who are like this?

ChickenBhuna · 29/08/2017 16:33

Yes. What he said was vile. There's no excuse.

DomesticDisgrace · 29/08/2017 16:34

Oh that's vile. Yeah I'd be really upset!

jelliebelly · 29/08/2017 16:34

No excuses - you've seen what he's really like I'm afraid...

Gemini69 · 29/08/2017 16:35

that is NOT the way guys talk ?! he is utterly repulsive.. I feel sorry for the young woman who walked into this vile environment and you OP for having to hear the true character of your DP Flowers

Emmageddon · 29/08/2017 16:41

Ugh. What a charmless creep your partner is. I couldn't be with a man who talked about women with such disrespect.

Mrskeats · 29/08/2017 16:42

Decent men don't talk like that. So disgusting and misogynistic. I would be much more than pissed off.

FartSmeller · 29/08/2017 16:42

Gross.
It is the way a lot of men talk with no women around - doesn't mean it's ok though.

oldlaundbooth · 29/08/2017 16:43

Er, yes.

Mustang27 · 29/08/2017 16:45

I'd be upset but not because he has a girlfriend but because that is no way to view anybody. I'm sorry but he needs to learn to respect other people not just objectify.

I would have probably been sarcastic and said yeah cause I'm sure your sorry cock would improve her life dramatically, get a grip.

Notreallyarsed · 29/08/2017 16:45

No it isn't the way guys talk and I live with an ex squaddie. I'd have lost my shit at that, its disrespectful to you and the woman they're discussing, and pretty disgusting.

AlternativeTentacle · 29/08/2017 16:45

That IS the way he speaks about women, just not in front of you.

Imagine what he has said about you?

AnyFucker · 29/08/2017 16:46

This is him. This is how he acts when he thinks you are not around to hear.

If this is acceptable to you, crack on.

Smeaton · 29/08/2017 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EsperanzaDesperanza · 29/08/2017 16:48

I would've been upset.
People do say stupid things when trying to be funny though, banter innit? Hmm
If he's never said anything like it before or since (that you know of) and you generally have a good relationship I'd maybe try to forget about it.
Are you more annoyed that he found someone else attractive or that he said something disrespectful?
I think it would be a bit of both for me.

KityGlitr · 29/08/2017 16:50

Oh that's disgusting. I wouldn't mind DP having a laugh with friends and commenting on another woman being hot (as long as he didn't say it within her earshot or with any intention and it wasn't specifics) but that comment goes way beyond that, openly envisaging himself having sex with her! So gross. He's shown you how he acts when you're not there. Some guys are like this, some aren't. Do you want to be with someone who's like this?

PinkHeart5911 · 29/08/2017 16:51

he insisted this is how guys talk umm only men without any class talk this way. I wouldn't want him as my dp 😷

Imagine the things his said to the guys about you & your sex life ( if your sleeping together) becuase "that's how guys talk"

rainbowlou · 29/08/2017 16:52

It's horrible and I'd be so upset, bet he said it was just 'banter' as well 🙄

Original poster
Nadinexo1 · 29/08/2017 16:54

no I wasn't bothered that he found someone else attractive as that's perfectly normal to do so. What he said disgusted me but he's never talked like that in front of me and he is very respectful to me. i just can't help wondering if that's the real him and what else he's said about women when I'm not there.
since this happened if we ever have an argument then I bring it up and I think I need to get over it but it still bothers me obviously.

OP posts:
Mrscropley · 29/08/2017 16:57

Next time you are chopping vegetables chop the fucker off. .
Bet he won't be laughing then. .

Original poster
Nadinexo1 · 29/08/2017 16:57

He thinks I should get over it and that it's normal. He says that I don't get how guys are when there's no women around and that what he said was really tame compared to what the other guys say.

OP posts:
Smeaton · 29/08/2017 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notreallyarsed · 29/08/2017 16:58

No it's not bloody normal! I couldn't be with someone who spoke in such a misogynistic and sexual way about women. Any women. He's a dick.

FartSmeller · 29/08/2017 17:01

It is normal, but as smeaton said it's only normal with the douche bags who have misogyny running through their core.

SandyY2K · 29/08/2017 17:02

The comment was awful and that's not what all guys are like. The woman was obviously attractive, but his comment would really bother me.

I'm not sure I could get past it tbh.