would this bother you?

[Nadinexo1]

so, a while back I was talking to my partner on the phone during his lunch hour as he calls me everyday to and from work and lunch time. I was cooking at the time so had my phone on hands free. as he said bye i thought he would hang up as I couldn't as I was chopping vegetables, anyway I heard his colleague say "who was that girl who came in before"
partner replied " new customer"
colleague "she's fit, does she need an engineer out" (they work for a telecommunications company)
partner- "she needs my dick in her" then they were laughing. at this point my partner must've looked at his phone and realised he hadn't hung up and I heard him say oh shit then he hung up.
I didn't say anything until he came home and I went mad but he insisted this is how guys talk and he was sorry but it's not the type of thing he usually says. I accepted this but it still gets to me.
Am I right to be pissed off?

It's how some men speak about women when they aren't around - that's a fact. Not all men, but some do. I think the only thing you need to decide is if you want this kind of man in your life?

Obviously it's your life op , but though you view your dp as being respectful towards you , he isn't respectful towards all women is he?

The question is whether you can live with that or not.

All women are someone's sister/mother/daughter etc , so surely they all deserve to be spoken of and seen in a dignified way.

Like I said , your dp , your call...

Gross, I would be horrified to hear my DP talk about another person like this. I don't but the whole "it's guy talk" shite. It's not guy talk, it's mysoginistic dick head talk.

Given everything else you've said I would be seriously considering my relationship with this man if I were you op. He views women as objects to be leered at, is that really the sort of man you want to share your life with?

Yuk, is he a bit of a geezer!! It's like something off Harry and Paul! Personally for me it's a complete turn off

'You're lucky he's not shagging somebody else'!!

You have very low standards. I could not be attracted to him, what a twat.

The only reply to "at least I am not off shagging other women" is "don't let me hold you back...the door is that way"

That's just the thing he's not "a bit of a geezer'. my post maybe makes him seem worse than he is. He has never been anything but nice and respectful to women and has never leered at a woman in front of me, we have the type of relationship where I could say to him if I saw a handsome guy but not in a pervy way iykwim or if a girl was pretty I would say that to him too or if I admired someone's hair makeup etc..
I don't think this is something I'd leave him over but it does make me think I don't really know him, I'm not a jealous person but I do have trust issues due to previous relationships.
I basically wanted to see if I was over reacting like he says I am but thanks to everyone posts I can see that I was in the right.

what actually made it worse at the time is that his two colleagues who know me and see me all the time heard him say it and so i felt humiliated too. I heard them just laughing along whereas if a married girlfriend of mine said something like that in front of me i like to think id have told her off. That's what made me believe that maybe all guys do say this kind of thing around each other.

think about the kind of talk that goes on between women at a hen night / Ann Summers Party / male stripper night.....I bet my bottom dollar, that loads of women have said something at those events, that in the cold light of day, would sound utterly horrifying to their Partners. I know that I have

Well, in that case, "loads of women" are just as bad. Doesn't mean this guy's behaviour is fine and dandy.

I love how he's telling OP how lucky she is that it's just banter. How thrilled she should be that he isn't having affairs, eh? What a creep.

my post maybe makes him seem worse than he is

No, it's probably that you don't feel comfortable seeing who he is. I understand that but you need to face it, OP

think about the kind of talk that goes on between women at a hen night / Ann Summers Party / male stripper night.....I bet my bottom dollar, that loads of women have said something at those events, that in the cold light of day, would sound utterly horrifying to their Partners. I know that I have

Never been on a hen night (I didn't have one), never ever been to see strippers (yuck) and I don't do Ann Summers parties.

Oh and I don't speak disrespectfully about my partner, or make sexual comments about other men. Because that's not something I'd do, I wouldn't accept it in a relationship and I wouldn't speak like that.

I wouldn't give a shit if I heard a partner saying something like this. It was obviously just a joke.

How long ago was this op?

I'd be tempted to go round to work and invite her over for dinner, without telling your DH. Then sit and watch him squirm like a massive twat at the dinner table.

Because he is a massive twat.

it was about 2 weeks ago and yes I know I need to just let it go now. At least I know now hes not the perfect man I thought he was .
Thanks for everyone's posts.

I wouldn't give a shit if I heard a partner saying something like this. It was obviously just a joke.

Yeah talking about how you'd like to stick your dick into a stranger is hilarious

Op he told you you were lucky he's not having an affair. Sorry but that is not something a decent and respectful man man would say.

it is very demeaning for women and shows that he has no respect for them. It might get in the way in your relationship. Tell him how it makes you feel.

Let it go if you want to but keep a close eye out for any other similar behaviour. Do you have children? Is this the sort of man you'd want around them?