Is he cheating?

[VIX1820]

I found a receipt for dinner for 2 paid for by my boyfriends credit card at a local gastro pub very near to his place (it was scrunched up and thrown in his sock drawer). I was out that evening which the receipt was dated (we don't live together) at a friends bbq. I didn't hear from him that night but I was out with friends so didn't find this unusual. He told me (before I found the receipt) that he stayed in that night. Once I found the receipt I casually referred back to the same night. I said to him 'was it last Friday or this Friday that you were going out with your mates? He said it was this Friday and I was like oh I could have sworn it was last week but I didn't remember you telling me how it went' and he said 'no i didn't go out in the end, stayed in it was really boring'
I've never been in this situation before so I was wondering what the best way is to tackle it? I'm worried if something is going on he will just deny it and be more secretive.... Do you think this could just be innocent and hes just forgotten that he went out with a friend and paid for their dinner?? It just seems odd that he would remember everything else he did that weekend but not that....

Oh what a nasty little scrote he is

You're well rid

Well rid OP! This will seem shit now but you'll soon feel better!

He's an idiot and he knows it. How long had you been together?

Wow - typical cheaters script he's following there, to the letter!
What a dick-head.

He won't be honest because cheaters never are.
They tell you only what they have to based on what you know.

Try to enjoy your weekend and well done on being strong and ending it.

Thank you everyone. It's so nice getting support and advice from you all.
He just called me and admitted it was a date and he felt like he owed me that honesty. He said it put things in perspective as he has the most boring time anyway. It kind of made it worse as I feel like he's just done this for nothing. I can't stop crying and I genuinely never thought that this is how it would end. I'm 32 and just losing faith of ever finding someone to settle down and have children with as this isn't the first time it's happened to me. I've just had a bit of a breakdown on the kitchen floor and I just hate how I let this absolute idiot make me feel this low.

What an absolute prick!

You will find someone so please don't worry about that. When you do you'll look back on this gobshite and wonder why the hell you cried on the kitchen floor that time.
Big hugs xxx

I realise that did sound a tad dramatic and it's probably nothing compared to what a lot of you may or may not have gone through! I'm just sad and now I feel like he's just trying to redeem himself by being the good guy and telling me. He said he couldn't sleep all night thinking about it and just had to tell me ugh. Wow how kind of him, what a gent!

Oh God. I'm so sorry. What an absolute prick. I can't believe he went on a date when you're very much still together (was). To a place you usually go to together! The fucking audacity.

Has he given you any reasoning as to why? Not that it'll excuse it. Other than this, was there any telltale signs?

I just want to say how brave i think you are.

I found out a few months ago my bf took another girl for a drink, a girl he met while he was on a lads holiday in Ibiza. When i found out he broke down crying and begged me to forgive him. He did take all the blame and said everything you would want to hear.

I decided to give it another shot, but now i am seriously questioning that decision. I now don't trust him at all and feel like i am constantly checking up on him. It has consumed such a big part of me, i feel like i have lost myself in this relationship.

Part of me knows i need to do what you have done. I'm 29 and like you have lost faith in finding someone to settle down with.

Sorry if i have boycotted your thread. But you have definitely done the right thing here, you should be very proud of yourself.

He said he couldn't sleep all night thinking about it and just had to tell me ugh.

This is so typical, it's all about him, he couldn't sleep, nothing of the hurt and pain he caused you...again typical cheater bullshit.

On a scale of be honest about owning up that he was on a date..1 out of 1000, pathetic.

Have a good cry, process the pain, vent to your friends, vent on here...get it out of your system. You sound like a good person, you've handled (and Mr Bell-end) yourself brilliantly.

You're out with friends at the weekend right? Make sure you still do this..you might end up a snotty crying mess at some pint, but you need your friends around you. Even if they just come round for an evening of Prosecco and a takeaway.

Hold your head up high, you've done nothing wrong, take the moral high ground, don't vent on social media, go No contact with him, block him on your phone, social media...

32 is still young, learn your lessons, fix your picker and find the guy thats out there for you.

Hugs

Fanny (That sounds so wrong)

What he did says nothing about you op. He is just that sort of person and you are really respecting yourself by not putting up with that. You have high value. You deserve someone who has the same self value - and they are out there.

Maybe spend some time thinking of some nice things you can do for yourself when the sadness that this one didn't work out gets difficult. You handled it all perfectly though and that is hard.

Be extra kind to yourself whilst you heal though this bit.

Don't worry about crying and being dramatic.
You are totally allowed to!
You trusted him and no doubt loved (still love) him.
That doesn't just go away.
It takes time to heal from.
Cry away - it's always better to get it out than bottle it up.
Be kind to yourself and try to eat and keep hydrated!

This sounds so awful OP...only you can decide whether he is being sincere or not. 32 is not too old to find someone and have a family...do not stay with the wrong guy out of fear of that, he is not the one you want to have a real future with. Always onwards and upwards!!

Baconbinge, I know exactly how you feel and I've been there before. I've tried to forgive after finding messages on an ex's phone asking to meeting up with his ex for sex. Whether or not he did it I don't know but the intent was there.
I stupidly forgave him but spent the next year of our relationship feeling like I couldn't trust him and second guessing myself all the time as to whether I had done the right thing. My friends said I was a completely different person (not for the better). I even remember confessing to my sister that I wish he would end it because I didn't have the balls to do it myself and I was unhappy. He ended up breaking up with me a year after that incident anyway. I was distraught at the time (5 years together, living together etc). But it was only through going through that before that has made me realise I just can't do that to myself anymore! So I completely understand where you are coming from. It's definitely easier said than done x

Thanks all. I'm going out tonight with friends. The prosecco will definitely be flowing (probably the tears too!) Last thing I feel like doing right now is putting on makeup but I don't think staying in on my own will do me much good at all.

Be prepared for him to make all sort of attempts to get back in with you OP. He won't change. To test the waters like this whilst with you is low life behaviour. What a bastard!

That is exactly what i am going through right now. I know what i need to do but i am just finding it so hard to actually do it. I can't believe how weak i am being about it all.

You have so done the right thing, and you will be so much better off without him. Enjoy your weekend with the girls! Don't beat yourself up about crying, it's all part of the healing.

Delete and block his number before you go out so that you don't drunk text him later or reply to his bollocks.

You will find the right person for you but not if you're wasting time with the wrong one x

Yeah definitely block him before you go out to remove the temptation. Let your friends support you

Good luck OP, he sounds like a right shit...
All the backtracking now is irrelevant - he's not upset at hurting you, only about being caught.
Get out there with your mates and drink and cry and dance!

Op please block him on everything so youre nit temoted. He might decide it is better to be wirh you while he looks for someone else and that is just unfair.

Sorry you're feeling low. I know he's a cheater, but you know for sure there is no doubt after his confession.

Hopefully he won't contact you again. He should have just ended it if he wasn't happy with you.

Big hug to you and enjoy your night out.

Have a good night out,love but no 'drunk texting' please

TWO YEARS together and he just took someone on a date?! I'd bet my life savings it's not his first time.

I'm sorry . Definitely go out tonight.

Oh Vix, sorry to hear this but at least you found out now before you had ties with this toad. Let the prosecco flow tonight!