Is he cheating?

[VIX1820]

I found a receipt for dinner for 2 paid for by my boyfriends credit card at a local gastro pub very near to his place (it was scrunched up and thrown in his sock drawer). I was out that evening which the receipt was dated (we don't live together) at a friends bbq. I didn't hear from him that night but I was out with friends so didn't find this unusual. He told me (before I found the receipt) that he stayed in that night. Once I found the receipt I casually referred back to the same night. I said to him 'was it last Friday or this Friday that you were going out with your mates? He said it was this Friday and I was like oh I could have sworn it was last week but I didn't remember you telling me how it went' and he said 'no i didn't go out in the end, stayed in it was really boring'
I've never been in this situation before so I was wondering what the best way is to tackle it? I'm worried if something is going on he will just deny it and be more secretive.... Do you think this could just be innocent and hes just forgotten that he went out with a friend and paid for their dinner?? It just seems odd that he would remember everything else he did that weekend but not that....

Please keep your dignity intact and your head held high here.
He has been caught and he is looking for an alibi
Don't be a fool who falls for his lies deep down you know the truth..

Get rid.

Face to face is best, can see immediate reaction. Now he has time to sort out his excuse.

I hope everything is ok OP

Have you dumped him op??

You don't trust him and he's refusing to be honest with you on a very basic level.

Cheating or not cheating I don't see the point in continuing with this relationship.

And for those that think the op has shown her hand too quickly - I think asking a straight question is absolutely fine. Why should someone waste time conducting detective work with someone that , after two years , doesn't have the emotional maturity to just say "I had lunch with so and so"? That would annoy the hell out of me.

Hope you had fun with your friend.

On Friday, I was cleaning the house. As I do every Friday. I got bored and decided to drive down to Halfords to for some screenwash for the car for something to do.

When driving to said store, I passed "DP"s van parked up in a residential multi story car park. Weird I thought... he is a plumber and told me he was working late but he is a commercial plumber (i.e. does site work, council buildings, schools etc) and certainly wouldn't do anything residential through work.

So I called him and asked what time he was finishing and where he was working (very casual)... oh I'm up at blah blah school the other side of town. Probably be finished about 5.

I said okay and hung up. The rage bubbled. So I text him and said why don't you tell me where you really are.

His version if the story was he was doing a "homer" for a female friend, and didn't tell me because I would have gone nuts.

But I wouldn't have... why would I? I do have reasons to have trust issues with him but all he had to do was dixuss it with me and all would have been fine.

There was a thread on here a while ago now, where the wife/GF found 'something' at home, phoned dP/H at work to get an explanation. He 'went into a meeting' for hours, then worked late, then 'popped in' to see a mate on way home, which ended up as a pub visit - and all the while she was at home, unable to sit still, wringing her hands, imagining the worst..
the advice was that he was 'probably' having an affair, but even if he wasn't, the way he treated her, her anxiety,worries and concerns, was despicable and vile.
As he turned out to be.

OP - he is treating you like shit.

Prssed post to soon.

So he swears blind that he wasn't up to anything but I have a feeling in my gut and as people on here will tell you, that feeling is there for a reason.

It's irrelevant anyway because we broke up for other issues that stemmed from the argument about the lying of whereabouts...

It's weird to have forgotten you went out for dinner. It's weird to have no mentioned it in conversation.

Leave now before you move in together or have children together. I have nondoubt he may come up with a very convincing story but it will be lies and you will spend forever questioning it if you stay.

Oh! And when I said okay, You must have messages with the woman arranging to go and fix her washing machine or whatever it was... if you show me them then it proves it was innocent.

"I deleted them"

Of course you fucking did you absolute pillock.

Run. Run for the hills and never look back. You will meet somebody one day who won't "forget" he went out for dinner with a friend and won't lie to you and leave you to worry and sweat and feel sick without giving you an explanation.

You will meet somebody one day who won't "forget" he went out for dinner with a friend

This.

This may sound harsh, OP, but you need to have more self respect than this. Take control of the situation. Don't wait to be fed his story he's had time to formulate. Don't accept he thought the gym was more important than explaining his actions to you. You really do deserve better than this. Be kind to yourself.

When he tells you which 'mate' he was out with, ask for their number so that you can check with them. Of course he will have persuaded this friend to lie for him but whether they can do it to your face is another matter.

Go and see this friend and tell them that you know he's lying. Ask them why they are also lying to you. Watch them squirm.

Then dump him.

Ring, dump, find someone better, lucky escape really, he has shown you who he is

Well ladies it's over. I called him in the end as I was fed up of waiting around worrying.
He told me he was there for dinner with a friend. When I started questioning why he didn't just tell me this earlier, he got defensive and said that this is 'too much' and how I need to stop with the constant questioning. He's stressed out at work and me questioning his whereabouts is just added stress for him that he doesn't need.

I said fine so you went out with 'xyz' person (I know who this person was) and said 'so he will be able to verify this will he?' He said 'why are you going to start calling up my friends now?' I said 'I'm just asking if he would verify that?' Then he got angry and was like 'fine i was with a girl, but it wasn't anything like that' and then the classic 'I just didn't tell you because I knew you would get upset'. He told me it was a friend from uni who had just split up with her husband and was upset! He wouldn't give me her name or tell me who she was (I've never heard of any girl friends he's had from his uni days) I asked then if he could show me the text conversations they have had and he said no I'm not going to do that and that he shouldn't have to show me text messages between them. I said well you've lied to me already about who you have been with so why should I trust you on this? You have broken my trust and it's now down to you to build it up again if you are innocent by showing me what you have been saying to each other. His reply was 'I'm not saying you should, its up to you if you believe me or not'. HAHA. BYE.
I'm gutted that he tried to turn this round on me and how he couldn't even be honest.

Ah how predictable. It's all your fault obviously, you're the one choosing not to trust him after he's blatantly lied to you. I'm sorry this happened to you. You're right to bin him off

What a pathetic lying toad you have uncovered. Huge respect to you for walking away now. Please never look back.

You've done the right thing VIX1820. Sorry, when a relationship ends its painful, you feel betrayed, ridiculed etc...but you really have dodged a bullet.

You're well rid of him.

Ack, what an arsehole. All of the signs were there, and I was just hoping that he'd have an innocent explanation. I'm so sorry OP, but far better you find out now rather than down the line, after potentially marriage, co-ownership of a house and pets/ kids. Do you have some lovely friends who can fill you up with prosecco and take you out for a lovely dinner later? I know you will be teary and raging as well as upset, but really, years down the line you will come to see this breakup as a cause for celebration. Good on you for not taking any of his shite. watch this space- in a week he'll realise you're serious and try to crawl back, Be ready for the full script. I have a feeling, OP, that you'll not be falling for it anyway

he is a Fool OP.. you sound like a thoroughly decent nice lass..

you enjoy your weekend with your friends as planned... and I'm sorry you've had to end your relationship

Stay Happy x

Typical. Be glad you didn't waste any more time with the cheater.

He was lying through and through and gave a predictable response.

An innocent man would have showed you the messages, but there are no such messages. He just enjoyed having you and a bit on the side.

You live and learn eh.

I'm sorry OP. He's a fool. Well done for not putting up with his shit.

Scrunched up in his sock drawer?? Could he have half wanted you to find it? If I had wanted to keep that secret i would have torn it into a thousand tiny pieces and buried it at the bottom of the bin. I'd show him the receipt and calmly ask him about it - also why he did not dispose of it properly. Could be that he has been fishing online and went out for a date.

OH so sorry - I've read your later post! ignore my previous. Sorry this has happened to you op