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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would this bother you?

65 replies

Tidygirldml · 22/08/2017 15:20

Fairly new relationship

Party at friends, all a few to drink, new partner kisses hostess on the lips when we leave. Not a snog, just a firm kiss on the lips.

He says it is nothing in it, meant by it, me I went ballistic.

Am I over reacting?

How would you feel?

OP posts:
TwitterQueen1 · 22/08/2017 15:22

Yes of course you're over-reacting. Some people are lip kissers, some aren't. If the hostess didn't object it's really none of your business.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2017 15:30

If the hostess was ok with it, I don't see the problem.

BusterGonad · 22/08/2017 15:32

I might be a bit miffed but only due to my own insecurities, I understand that if she didn't mind then I shouldn't mind.

Cambionome · 22/08/2017 15:33

You are over reacting. Totally.

AfunaMbatata · 22/08/2017 15:34

It's completely normal for a lot of people.

RebornSlippy · 22/08/2017 15:35

You're over reacting. The joys of drinking too much. Ballistic? Really? Is he even speaking to you?

How would I feel? Personally, not much. If I were feeling something though, what I'd do is say, "hey, the only lips you should be kissing are mine". And because it meant nothing, I'm sure a decent partner would respect this and not do it again.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 22/08/2017 15:35

I think you owe him an apology tbh.

Justdontknow4321 · 22/08/2017 15:35

Normal for some people.

I have a male friend and he kisses bye on the lips, my partners seen him do it and there Friends. He's never said anything.

VodkaRevelation · 22/08/2017 15:36

Nope. I don't know anyone who would do this.

You don't have to be the 'cool' girlfriend who lets stuff like this go.

Wheelerdeeler · 22/08/2017 15:36

It would bother me

greendale17 · 22/08/2017 15:37

Would bother me. I don't know anyone that does this

Happytobefree17 · 22/08/2017 15:37

It would bother me too. But ballistic is a bit of an overreaction. Couldn't you have told him calmly that it bothers you?

oldlaundbooth · 22/08/2017 15:38

Are you kidding?

Of course it would bother me!

travis45 · 22/08/2017 15:42

I wouldn't like my husband, new partner kissing on the lips just like I wouldn't like someone kissing me on the lips.

travis45 · 22/08/2017 15:42

Or**

PickAChew · 22/08/2017 15:46

If it bothers you, it bothers you, even if 80% of people aren't bothered by it. (Made up number)

peachgreen · 22/08/2017 15:51

Hmm. Does he do it with all his close friends?

KinkyAfro · 22/08/2017 15:53

Would bother me, I wouldn't go ballistic but I wouldn't be at all happy

PinkHeart5911 · 22/08/2017 15:56

I kiss certain (male & female) friends on the lips, always have since college days. DH has never got his pants twisted over it.

So no I don't think it would bother me

RachelP247 · 22/08/2017 16:04

It would probably bother me (I'm a cheek kisser; wouldn't dream of kissing on the lips), but I wouldn't go ballistic about it, I'd have probably been jokey/sarcastic about it (that's just me!) and then that would have led to a conversation on what's acceptable and what's not. Just because other people might be OK with it, doesn't mean you have to be - but also don't just jump the gun and go ballistic - if this is naturally him he won't have even realized it might be an issue.

chestylarue52 · 22/08/2017 16:10

You don't have to be the 'cool' girlfriend who lets stuff like this go.

No, but you don't have to 'go ballistic' either. You can ask someone to behave differently or you can choose to end a relationship but you can't control someone else in that kind of way, by 'going ballistic' when they do something you don't like.

DancesWithOtters · 22/08/2017 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chestylarue52 · 22/08/2017 16:12

I have male and female friends that I kiss on the lips and if a new partner went 'ballistic' at me for it I'd tell them to jog on. Pfft.

Mamabooksbabynumber2 · 22/08/2017 16:16

I would not be happy either if new partner did this YANBU

redexpat · 22/08/2017 16:18

I wouldnt be happy about this at all but I wouldnt go ballistic over it either.

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