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Original poster

My children hate my girlfriend - what should I do?

85 replies

GNGR · 21/08/2017 20:31

Help please. I don't know what to do.

My 3 children do not like my girlfriend. We have had a disastrous holiday together (they only spoke to say hello and complained to me about each other).

Brief facts

My Children are aged 14 (daughter) 12 and 10 (sons)

My Girlfriend is not English and is not "motherly". She thinks that children should do as they are told and should be seen but not heard. Her views on many topics are 'traditional' (racist/ homophobic) but not uncommon in Eastern Europe where she and I live (I live there because of work and met her there).

My daughter is very proud to be a campaigning equal rights feminist, she is certain in a way that only 14 year olds can be and she has strong views on almost everything (I should add that I share most of her views too)

My Children live with their mother during the week and with me at the weekend (I fly home each week). I have been divorced for 3 years.

Question is: should I continue dating someone that my children really don't like and who holds views that I cannot support?

OP posts:
NancyJoan · 22/08/2017 08:54

Despite her staggering skills as a horsewoman, it's a no from me.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 22/08/2017 11:49

She has many very good qualities (yes, eye wateringly good riding wild horses)...

Is this a euphemism for physically attractive and good in bed? Or do you mean she's a good horse rider? Bizarre. Confused

MorrisZapp · 22/08/2017 11:54

Wild horses you say.

Carry on.

sebumfillaments · 22/08/2017 11:56

If her riding is making your eyes water, you need more lube.

PaganGoddessBrigid · 22/08/2017 11:58

Yeh, I assumed it was a euphemism for something and I glossed over it.

I'm not sure the OP is coming back but all of the advice to him is to 'bin her' she sounds a racist but the OP isn't covered in glory either. In my opinion. Maybe I'm bitter. Ten years of being single because it's too hard to make a relatiosnhip work with 100% responsibility for my DC. Even a trip out for a pizza, or a trip to the cinema would be thought through carefully. And the OP went on holiday with a new gf when a mere three years ago they were still in there family unit. So honestly, I think the problem was going straight in there with a holiday. Way too ambitious. Take a breath. Try risking a trip to the cinema or a meal out next.

eyebrowsonfleek · 22/08/2017 11:59

Am I the only one who thought wild horses = stallion =OP so eye wateringly good at riding wild horses means good at sex?

Slimthistime · 22/08/2017 12:02

Your children don't appreciate she's good in bed?

Wow, aren't they lucky to have you as a dad.

BrandNewHouse · 22/08/2017 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

troodiedoo · 22/08/2017 12:05

She saw you coming didn't she Hmm

Anyone else picturing Johnny Vegas in Benidorm?

PaganGoddessBrigid · 22/08/2017 12:08

I've only seen it ironically BrandnewHouse if one of my forty something friends puts up a photo on fb of them self looking particularly lush, a smart arse of their own generation will invariably comment ''ya big roide, I would'' but I don't think the young people say ridin' anymore. I remember my friends grandma used to say jiggy jiggy and we all died laughing, imagine saying jiggy jiggy for riding. ''he had me up half the night jiggy jiggy''.

ibentmywookie · 22/08/2017 12:19

Keep up people, it was his response to the poster wildhorses, who had earlier asked if she was very good in bed.

MorrisZapp · 22/08/2017 13:01

Ah. OK.

juneau · 22/08/2017 13:07

Question is: should I continue dating someone that my children really don't like and who holds views that I cannot support?

Are you really that desperate for sex that you are willing to alienate your three DC in order to fuck this objectionable woman?

juneau · 22/08/2017 13:09

And why is it so complicated? She's only your GF, you're not married. Tell her it's over. That you're sorry, but it hasn't worked out. That as a dad you have other people to consider and that as she and your DC simply don't get on you need to make a choice - and your choice is your DC. Move out. Ask her to move. Rent a new place. Whatever. Just do whatever it is that you need to do.

SonicBoomBoom · 22/08/2017 13:12

"I'm dating a horrible woman who hates my children, but she's a really good shag. Should I continue to subject my children to her racist homophobic views and misery so I can continue to get my end away?"

Seriously? Hmm

Offred · 22/08/2017 13:14

Three issues here; 1. No you shouldn't continue dating someone who holds offensive views 2. just because she is your girlfriend doesn't mean your children should have any contact or any relationship with her, knowing both your daughter and your girlfriend as you do it was insane to bring your girlfriend on a family holiday and has probably disrupted your relationship with the kids 3. Your children don't like her because she is offensive, they are probably wondering what kind of man you really are to be dating a woman like that. It's one thing to say you share your daughter's views but then quite another to be getting serious (meeting the kids, coming on family holidays) with someone who is completely opposed to those views.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 22/08/2017 13:14

The OP obviously felt we had not given enough advice on this thread as he started another one today.

Summerswallow · 22/08/2017 13:31

Do a little test.

Would you be able to get a girlfriend who looks like this woman, with a similar figure, similar age and intelligence in the UK? If the answer is no (and I know the answer is no), why is that?

What's the trade?

What have you got that she wants? (hint, it isn't intellectual compatibility or wanting to make the world a better place). Why does she get cross when you spend money on your own, your OWN children? What type of person is that? (another hint, one who likes money).

Basically, OP, you've been played and don't mind as long as you are getting your leg over. Your children think you are sad. My dad is similar. I just don't respect him as a person.

I don't think you will stop with the riding activities, nor do I think they will make you happy, long-term.

Out2pasture · 22/08/2017 14:16

Ummmm Hedge that's very interesting

TumbleBee · 22/08/2017 16:25

Keep up people, it was his response to the poster wildhorses, who had earlier asked if she was very good in bed.

Oh, I've never been so disappointed. So she's not a circus-level equestrian. That, if nothing else, is an object lesson in why learning to bold previous posters' names is such a useful skill.

[chunters off, imaging Carlotta the wild gypsy girl of Malory Towers]

abigailgabble · 22/08/2017 16:27

MEN

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 22/08/2017 16:30

And that's why commas are so important :)

Lauralou69 · 22/08/2017 16:32

Do you challenge her? Stick up for your kids? You sound a plonker......she's disgusting!

ClemDanfango · 22/08/2017 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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