There I've said it....

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I want out of my 7 year marriage.
I'm scared of him.
I'm walking on egg shells constantly
I don't think I love him
He has double standards
I miss affection
I want to be loved
Why does he shout at me
Why do I make him angry
Why can I never do anything right
Am I going mad?
Is it me!
I'm embarrassed by him
He is horrid to he around
I wished I'd never met him
He is mean

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. ..do you need support to leave?

You are not alone. Many of us have been there and left. You can too. Lots of support on here. Do you have anyone in real life that you can trust and talk to? X

I hear you, I feel similar. Don't have any advice but can offer a handhold.

What do you need to do now ?

You'll get support on here.

Well done for choosing to be happy. It's not a sin, it's not a crime. You've done phenomenally well to stand up and tell him.

Thanks all. No one in RL to talk to - everyone thinks we have a great marriage. I'm embarrassed to tell anyone. Don't even know where to start.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You have decided that you want to do something about your life. That's amazing. You should be proud of yourself. You are showing you are strong. You know that you are worth better. Let people on here help you.
You have already made the first steps.

I think people will be less surprised than you think.

Do you have children with this man? Own a property? Share a bank account?

No children. No joint bank account and the house is in my name. I'll lose it though won't I. I'm scared to tell him its over.

Not necessarily. Are you financially independent?
Are you safe?

How long have you been married for? There will be a financial hit but it'll be worth it, don't worry.

How much equity is in the house? Did you both pay for the mortgage together?

Yes I'm financially secure and can be independent on my own. There is a little bit equity and I'm safe yes.

He's made me think it's all my fault, I'm confused and don't know whether this is all down to me.

I was there and I left.
Was skint for a bit. Not rolling in it now but OK.
What do you need to start considering?
for you

I've paid the mortgage myself the whole time.

I want to do it and then run away and hide. Don't want all the Q's from people or have to see him daily whilst I wait for him to go a I don't think he'll go easily

I bet it's taken ages for you to think clearly and make the list in your OP.

Things will become clearer now.

Have you talked to him about this before? How has he reacted?

Have you had legal advice?
If you are scared of him Women's aid could help and advise.

If you've been married 7 years don't assume you will lose the house. You need a good lawyer, and to leave the relationship. Get advice on how to get him to leave.

I would get some advice from a solicitor. All he can have is half the equity at most. I think you need to look at what the equity was when you married and what it is now, then halve the difference.

You've been married for seven years - when did you buy your house?

I felt good writing the list. I've never said I wanted to break up before - he has threatened it and then it ends up me begging forgiveness as I'm scared even though I don't think I've done anything wrong and saying I'll change. I don't think I'm the problem - he is. He says the way I am makes him angry - god that sounds so pathetic

Bought the house 2 years before we married

It's not you, sadly you're married to a monster.