Feeling like i dont matter

[Agnus86]

So my husbands daughter is off to uni and has demanded my husband go with her and her mother( his first wife) to move her in. Its an hour or so away from us and she knows how much its going to.upset me. My husband doesnt want to but is going even though he knows how i feel. We both work a lot and have a little girl at home so time is really valued. He hasnt ever done anything with his ex wife and the kids since they split when his daughter was 4. I wasnt asked to go. Feels like they are going off to play happy families and my feelings and me are forgotten or dont matter. His eldest daughter is also coming to stay that weekend as its her birthday the one before but we cant do anything as hes off with the other daughter. I feel this is bery selfish and its also causi g me to not want my husband near me as i cant stand the thiyght of him playibg happy familys.

This is one selfish issue in a whole list of them im at my wits end

If you don't like the idea of your partner spending time with his children and 'playing happy families', don't marry men who have families.

(good luck finding one.)

OP you sound like an absolute idiot. Hope this helps

This is a DH problem not a DSD problem I think.

DSD vetoed him going to your daughter's first day at school? And he complied?!?!

You have only recently married and feel like this move of demanding he and his ex both take her to uni is a statement of intent to disrupt from her.

Well, she's his daughter so it's ok for her to feel insecure about her relationship now he is having a second family. It was not really ok for her to expect to be able to dictate how he relates to her half sister.

What is really really really not Ok is your husband's decision to allow her to dictate how he relates to you and your DD.

So yes, it's ok for both parents to go together for support to move a child into uni but what you are reacting to negatively is the idea that actually this is not about support but about the DD making a power play? Is that right?

If so, this is not your DD, this is your husband. He's being a crap parent and a crap husband.

His kids are insecure, you are insecure - it's his crapness that is causing all this.

You are spoilt, selfish and insecure. Grow up!

What the hell are you on about OP?

My DS just graduated and it was me and his father there. My DH and my exH DP were not invited (limited space)

No one threw their teddies out of the pram as we are adults.

You are being totally unreasonable, op.

It sounds almost as though you're going to leave your dh because you didn't get the response you were hoping for to your op.

You do realise how crazy that is, don't you?

Your dsd is entitled to have both parents with her when she goes up to uni. It's not just to 'help her move' it's a huge life milestone.

My parents split up when I was 13 but both came with me when I went to uni. My dsm, who i get on very well with, didn't because it wasn't appropriate.

I think you just need to suck this one up and move on.

Sorry op but you are being incredibly selfish. That child deserves her dads attention, especially as he's not really bothered with her since she was 4. It must hurt her that he had another dd with you and does more with his child with you than he's ever done with her.

I think you need to look at it from her point of view.

You sound like my exh's on/off now wife who had an issue with him coming to DD's sports day - in case we got it together behind the bikesheds. She was acting like a delusional selfish idiot and well....so are you.