Normal or not?

[Onlyonce]

Just wanting some honest views on aspects of Dp's behaviour towards me. A few examples

1.Reading my messages on phone. Wouldn't bother me particularly but would rather he told me as when he reads the unread ones I don't see them highlighted and miss them iyswim
2.Telling me I don't need my handbag when out for the day (actually do need it had to remind him I keep DD inhaler when we go out)
3.Telling me I use too much toothpaste
4.Similarly that I shouldn't put the shower on while I get undressed, should wait untill I have got in
5.Where to put water bottle in compartment on side of passengers door, as in 'dont put it there, move it to there'
6.Taking receipt out of my bag then quizzing me on what I had for lunch (disapproves of diet coke)
7.Asking me what I am eating on a regular basis when he sees me having something
Coming into kitchen as soon as I go in there
8.Turned him down for sex one night after he woke me up. He said he would do it anyway. I said no again. Nothing further happened
9When frustrated saying things like 'im going to break X in a minute' referring to whatever he is holding or trying to deal with. He has never been physically violent with me but have seen him kick or stand on things
10.Regularly saying "are you in a mood" when he picks up on me not being as I would normally be.
11. Saying I have my showers too hot

Sometimes I wonder if I am just being over sensitive so wanting to know which of these would bother others or not. I know some of them seem more of an issue than others

He sounds like my stbexh, I couldn't cope with the constant scrutiny, criticism and feeling like I was doing something wrong all the time (for example using too much toothpaste, putting salt on my food etc). Definitely too controlling, it will escalate (did in my case) so get out now before it gets too much.

About the broken things, it's not often but things like snapping a pencil, damaging a watch I bought him, jumping up and down on a broken domestic appliance.

I told my counsellor about the receipt and described it as him trying to catch me out. She was very careful about not putting words in my mouth so she withdrew her suggestion of control when I said it was like he was trying to catch me out

The waking me up for sex has stopped. The last time was the time he threatened me. I've never said I like being woken up. He went through a stage of waking me up because he wanted sex. He usually comes to bed later than me. Recently he says he isn't that bothered about sex although we have DTD a few times since I got pregnant. I know he won't touch me for a while after baby is born

Onlyonce,

re your comment:-
"About the broken things, it's not often but things like snapping a pencil, damaging a watch I bought him, jumping up and down on a broken domestic appliance".

It may not be happening very often but the fact this is happening at all is very disturbing. You are being out and out controlled by him still and his behaviours are deliberate and designed to further undermine you as a person. I maintain that you were targeted by him, he honed in on your insecurities and has exploited these fully.

None of this is right; how many people apart from him actually jump and down on a broken domestic appliance?. What happened to the watch he deliberately broke?. Who does this at all? Emotionally healthy people do not control people or break inanimate objects in temper. He is showing you really what he could do to you via those objects.

Even reading that makes me feel suffocated!

Agree with jlbaby he sounds like my ex too. Constant scrutiny, run away

Op I had an ex similar to yours.
At first I thought he was just showing an interest. Then he began criticising what I ate, telling me I needed to keep my weight down.
He told me what clothes suited me, what underwear to wear, even if it was uncomfortable.
He told me once that he would have sex with me whenever he wanted and however he wanted.
I left and he tried to make life difficult,
I didn't see any of his behaviours as controlling as it crept upon me slowly.
My advice is to leave him and cut contact down to an absolute minimum.