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Original poster

It's my fault he fell out of love

60 replies

Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 00:29

According to my ex, my not forgiving him for having an affair was what made him fall out of love with me in the end.

WTAF?

He actually said this in all seriousness! And I am grateful he did because I no longer have an ounce of regret about ending the relationship.

To think I had considered giving it another go! Thanks ex, you helped me dodge a bullet there!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 16/08/2017 04:30

What a total fuckwit. Good for you for unloading this piece of garbage.

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 16/08/2017 06:16

I bet it's your fault he had an affair too

acornsandnuts · 16/08/2017 06:23

I pity the next women. What an arse

hesterton · 16/08/2017 06:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 08:33

I bet it's your fault he had an affair too

Yes it was. Because intelligent people understand that affairs of some sort happen in any relationship and I wasn't evolved enough to realise that.

OP posts:
qazxc · 16/08/2017 08:40

Blimey, you have dodged a bullet there!
Can he actually say this shite without laughing or realizing what a giant bell end he is?

Angelf1sh · 16/08/2017 08:47

I hope you laughed in his face and then walked away without another word!

highinthesky · 16/08/2017 08:48

Is it also your fault that he's such a delusional asshole?

Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 08:51

Not only can he say this shite with absolute unwavering conviction that he is right, apparently my failing to understand and support him means that I am a nasty unattractive bitch who will never find anyone else even half as decent and intelligent as him. He says he is cursed with women falling in love with him. I need to understand that if I want to be in a relationship with him.

What makes it worse is that I sometimes waver and question myself. In my weakest moments I wonder if he is right.

But this latest episode has been more than a wake up call. I need to go NC.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 16/08/2017 08:56

OMG that is priceless.

Like some kind of sex version of the Alan Partridge worldview.

But yes (more seriously) please go NC. Keeping something like this in your life is just embarrassing and is getting in the way of you finding a proper man and relationship- if you were honestly considering stooping back to this level then he's got to go- permanently.

Delete the loser!

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 16/08/2017 09:41

What a prince amongst princes he is.

From your posts I'm getting the feeling that you are not going to let his bollocks rule your head. Keep that up. The opinion of the shit on your shoe is worth more consideration than his.

Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 09:44

The woman he had an affair with was apparently an angel because she loves him unconditionally, never asked questions about me and remains a close friend.

I asked him why he didn't just go back to her then. Why crawl back to me.

His answer? Because she has a fanny like a bucket.

Sorry. I just need to vent. He is a no.1 arse hole and I feel like a no.1 idiot for having loved him. Because I really did love him. More fool me. Angry

OP posts:
DoIDontIhavethetalk · 16/08/2017 09:44

Ah, didn't fully read your last post.

He is NOT right. He's playing the fun game of Abuser bingo and we're already nearly at HOUSE. He just needs to tell you you're 'mental' 'cannot cope' and he's concerned for his child's 'welfare' whilst under your care - if we're going to go for the bonus round he'll throw such phrases as 'safeguarding concerns' in there too.

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 16/08/2017 09:45

She has a fanny like a bucket? Christ alive.

Frazzledneedswine · 16/08/2017 09:48

Hahahaha what a self-righteous narcissistic cunt!

You have to laugh at him OP, what a pathetic man!!! You are well rid xx

Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 09:49

I know. For that comment alone I should be able to laugh in his face and tell him to fuck off.

But he's under my skin. I wish I could shake him off.

OP posts:
Unescorted · 16/08/2017 09:52

Has it ever occurred to him that he has a small penis?

Peanutbuttercheese · 16/08/2017 10:00

He sounds horrendous I bet he was excessively charming in the first instance.

When I read your post I was reminded of this music video it's Henry Rollins and about how this man manipulates and gets under the skin of his victim, it's pretty disturbing so watch with caution.

Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 10:01

Unfortunately Unescorted That's part of the problem why I've been struggling to cut this arsehole out of my life. He is very good in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 10:13

Thank you for that video Peanutbutter.

He is exactly that. He's a liar and a bullshitter, a manipulative abuser who doesn't deserve the headspace I'm giving him.

He's texted me twice today saying I'm a nasty piece of work and that I should take a good look at myself to understand why I am so undeserving of his respect.

OP posts:
tribpot · 16/08/2017 10:24

I should take a good look at myself to understand why I am so undeserving of his respect.

More productive would be to take a good look at yourself to see why you haven't blocked him yet. And then block him.

If he thinks that affairs are inevitable, why didn't he say so at the beginning of your relationship, so you could decide whether or not you wanted to be in an open or polyamorous relationship? That way you would have all the information to enable a proper choice. Instead I suspect that he only discovered that affairs are inevitable when he got caught having an affair.

Have a look at narcissistic supply and then stop providing him with any. The best way to hit back at this guy is to ignore him - he'll hate it and you won't be letting him pour poison in your ear.

Original poster
Happytobefree17 · 16/08/2017 11:33

I am sitting on my hands trying not to reply to his last text where he says my attitude is becoming increasingly ugly.

Is it really true that he will hate me ignoring him?
More than if I were to reply to say I see him for the narcissistic bulshitter that he is?

OP posts:
Frazzledneedswine · 16/08/2017 11:51

Yes Happy it will drive him nuts!

tribpot · 16/08/2017 11:54

Yes, stop engaging. All you do by responding is give him fresh ammo to twist and send back to you. It means you're still thinking about him and giving him your attention, and that means (in his mind) he wins. He's never going to say 'oh yes, I see now you're absolutely right, this is all my fault and I am an unspeakable shitbag'. Plus who cares? You're not together and what he does and thinks and says now is not your problem. Move along.

FizzyGreenWater · 16/08/2017 12:07

He isn't good in bed though, is he?

The last person he was being 'good in bed' with, he was there mentally listing her imagined deficiencies... so he could sneer about her to his ex.

Oooh I soooo wish I could have the experience of being shown a good time with a man like that!! Imagine OP, if you were to shag him again you could be lucky enough to be lying there thinking 'wonder what he tells other women about my body! wonder what faults of mine he's mentally listing while he gyrates away!'

Lovely. No, that isn't being 'good in bed', even if he has learned to fake all the moves and talk the talk. Yuk. That's having sex with a slimeball.