Anyone else have zero/nada/zilch close friends?

[Bonosbiatch]

Just that really. I'm 36 and a mum to a toddler. My line of work doesn't lend itself to forming close friendships. I would just love a couple of friends to do things with - not just acquaintances but the sort of friends that you can rely on and connect with. Not sure if that makes sense. How does one even make friends in your 30s/40s?? 😂

Not as far as I'm aware... It so should!!

I thought Bonos invented it? Anyone a programmer? App maker?

Found this list!

www.bustle.com/articles/175504-7-apps-like-tinder-for-meeting-friends-because-the-options-are-endless

Wouldn't it be funny if some of us 'Billynomates' actually know each other in real life

Ha ha!
Even funnier if we'd been trying to 'pull' each other but not quite managing it.

Anyone pulled yet?? 😂😂

I so nearly pulled once... I was at a kid's party and one of the other mums was coming on STRONG. I mean, you couldn't fail to read the signals. She was properly giving me the 'I want to be your friend' eye and my heart was all aflutter. There was even talk of play dates.

Then, when I casually dropped the idea of swapping numbers (you know, in order to facilitate arrangement of said play dates), she went cold. Like I'd asked her if I could move in or something. She ghosted me before our friendship had even begun.

meee. i find having friends stressful i like MN where i can waft in and out and pick and choose.

Can join Friender too? At school and Uni I had AMAZING frschoo, now I have no friends. I have moved counties too often (5 houses in 7 years), and just haven't maintained the friends I used to have 20 years ago.
I feel sad.

Bonos for what it's worth I think we'd get on really well! I'm also a lonely mum of a toddler wishing I had someone I could get plastered and debate the finer points of Kit Harrington with! Here's hoping we might unknowingly bump into each other at a toddler group one day

it'sallgoongtobefine I'm a bit like that too...worried that I'm annoying them or being irritating or needy.
I've never really had many friends but I'd love the kind of thing you described in your op, erm...Op.
I'm also quite awkward socially.
But at the risk of sounding lime a friendship version of those really cheesy dating videos...I feel like I've got a lot to offer
We need a friend version of this...

Thank you Cookies! Much appreciated! Yes, everyone is welcome to join my imaginary app -Frinder 😂.

How dare you get ghosted! What a tease! At least she didn't give a fake number 😂😂

Abigailgabble I like to waft too. Just once in a blue moon, at a time convenient to me, a bit more than a waft would be good

None for me. Despite being pretty active in the community I have no friends at all. I did have one who used to tell me their DS was desperate for a play date and could she come over with him? Yeah, great. I'll get the kettle on.
She'd turn up and say, right, I've just gotta pop over to xxxx, I'll be back in a jiffy

Okaaaay. Fine. But then when she came back an hour or so later to pick him up she didn't have time for a coffee or even a 5 minute chat.

Friend #2: Found out that she would rip you off in a heartbeat. She sort of pushed me into buying some trainers for DS as they'd fit my boy and her DS didn't want them. She didn't want to traipse all the way back to return them and just wanted what she paid. Price wasn't huge but despite being nice and all, weren't my style. I hoped DS would like them. Gave her the money that the price sticker said on the box.

At home I found the receipt inside she'd forgotten to take out, for less than half what I paid her. Thanks a bunch. She's well off but tighter than a duck's arse. This wasn't the only occasion. I backed off. It saved me money!

Friend #3 bitched about me behind my back.

I'm 35 and too old for this petty shit. It's just me, DH and our children. Friends are overrated.

TheKidsAreTakingMySanity, that sort of thing really makes me mad re the first friend you mentioned. I know a couple of people like that, who just want you to look after their kids. It really fucks me off! Friend 2 - well, what a cheeky bitch! And not even clever with it. People are awful.

I feel like I don't have many friends either. I have two friends that I've kept in touch with from baby and toddler groups, who are absolutely lovely. I try to meet up with them regularly but one of them is always super busy so we end up meeting without her. I also often feel like it's me that does the chasing too. "Shall we meet at X/come to mine for a brew etc", I feel like if I didn't suggest stuff or ask them to meet then we wouldn't.

I lived in an area where I started to make friends and I had people to go to the pub with, cinema etc. It was lovely.

However, this area is very cliquey - lots of bitching going on, competitiveness etc. Which wasn't fun. Although I made a couple of really close friends, or I thought they were.

I moved out of the area last year - literally 5 mins drive out of the village, still intending to keep in touch with everybody, still doing the same things we used to. My children still go to the school in the village (as I said, we're literally JUST on the outside) so I see the people most days.

I no longer get invited to things .

One mum at the school jokes that she shouldn't speak to me because I don't live in the village, ha de ha de ha. She says it every time .

Wow eccentricpickle that's so bizarre! And that mum sounds mega annoying

I'd join Frinder 😃. I have a couple of people/old colleagues I meet for coffee with every 6 months or so but not really friends. They mean more to me than I do to them I think. I'm a single parent too so don't have a lot of free time which doesn't help 😕

Nope Just my DH and siblings but i'm very shy and struggle to make enough small talk.

I thought I was the only one TBH that had no close friends. My 2 sisters are my best friends, but they live 150 and 350 miles away, so we don't see each other often. I think I don't see my own self worth, think I'm not valued enough to be anyones friend, and that makes me unhappy that I can recognise that in myself, but don't know how to change it.
I don't think I want too much, girls night in/out occasionally, pop round for coffee and cake or just go to the gym to eat cake in the café!

I never found it easy to make friends and came across as needy when I was a child, so as an adult I can see that my so-called friends used me and took more than they gave. There was a lot of falling out, bitching and drama too. It was all rather exhausting, looking back, so it put me off trying to forge friendships in later years.

I have a few people I'm friendly with and some far flung acquaintances - I wouldn't really call them friends as I can't imagine any of us dropping everything to be there in a time of crisis. Only my OH would do that and he's my best/only friend.

I'm not really into the whole "night out with the girls" thing as I don't like noisy, large groups. I don't really feel I'm missing out on anything as we go out and go away when we feel like it, but my mum definitely made me feel as a child that being a loner wasn't normal and I should be seeking to be liked and accepted by others. Tried it, didn't work and now can't be arsed, in a nutshell.

Another loser here...I don't even have the excuse of small children. I'm terminally single, work from home, and have one sibling whose other half basically won't let them talk to me.

I have a couple of what I used to think were good friends but one I only see to exercise together and the other I only see if I visit her. She makes friends with everyone she meets so is always busy with other people and I don't think she has a clue how solitary I am or how that feels. I've kind of given up on her because it feels very one-way.

I've been a member of a couple of groups in the past but just ended up doing most of the work and not making any friends as I'm hideously shy.

I know I should try joining something else but what? I'm not religious, can't sing, dance, act, knit...can't find any local book clubs (I was in one in the past but they changed the meeting night and it fell apart and I didn't make any friends there anyway but at least it was something). And I'm too shy to join most things on my own anyway...

Yeah religion is another path... I used to go to synagogue every Saturday and could have made friends that way but DH was not super happy about it

I'm also 36 and my husband is my best and only friend. I have 2 teenagers and between them are my only source of conversation 😳

Same here for DW and me. We are the same age as OP with a 5yo and 2yo. After boy child was born our friends just dropped away overnight, I've always worked about an hour from home so couldn't really develop close friendships with work colleagues, plus being a driver you don't really work WITH people as such. My friendships are very much virtual now, occasional phonecalls, texts and facebook and such. We think that part of it is that we are the only people of our group of similarly aged friends that have children, and the other friends we have all have much older children. No doubt our childless friends will have kids of their own and be unable to meet up as easily at the point when we have the bit of extra freedom with having older kids.

Hiii
I hope I'm not late to the new friends party 😩😂

I'm 24 and I struggle to make friends, don't really have anyone tbh except my DP! He is my best friend but it would be nice to have someone girly to talk to!
I have a 3 year old DS too who I must admit is my best friend.

I do wonder how I'll ever make new friends now!