New DP is a flirt. I am worried.

[Crappyatnames]

11 year relationship with ExDH ended last year. For a couple of months now I have been seeing a friend from work, he is lovely, makes me laugh, affectionate, caring, kind, thoughtful, I really enjoy spending time with him and think i've fallen for him. He is a flirt, has numerous female friends, very huggy, flattering, sends them kisses in texts, he clearly adores women and enjoys their company. This is one of the things that attracted me to him, my ex never paid me attention full stop - they are the complete polar opposite. Although my ex never paid me attention, he also never flirted, or talked about 'hot' women in my presence - he was safe, but it was dull. New guy's flirting is part of his personality, but I cant help feel that I am taking a risk moving forward with him. Why am I so scared? Anyone else's partner a flirt? I overheard him on a work night out last week discussing the new office girl being 'hot' ....I am a bit hurt by this still, seen as he says he has fallen for me, I am amazing etc etc.....Was he out of order? Am I too sensitive? this is all new for me. ExDH was emotionless.

I would personally think he's a bit of a player.

To be honest, I would not get too invested in him. You already have doubts.

Hmmm, if it doesnt feel right for you then its probably your instincts waving up red flags for you. It depends on how laid back you are i suppose.
I wouldnt like it though, friends -yes, calling someone 'hot' in your presence- no!
Just something a bit dodgy about that imo

Yup.

And he has mentioned his last 2 ex's were 'mental' 'jealous' etc.....makes me wonder why.

You've got to be a very secure and self confident person to be happy with a partner like this.

Stay away! Red flags everywhere.
To praise a woman in your presence and to say she is hot is incredibly rude. Women hate this kinda shit.

Very disrespectful and inconsiderate of your feelings. Is he 19?

I'd walk away.

The hot women comment, we were standing in a large group and he didnt know I could hear him as he had his back to me , I dont know if that makes it better or worse!

I guess it depends on what you're comfortable with.

If his isn't okay in your eyes then there's very little point continuing to see him.

I doubt his ex's were jealous without reason, huge red flag if you ask me. I think you will end up hurt

It wouldn't/doesn't bother me. But as a pp mentioned, I'm very comfortable in my own skin - I know I have more to offer than just being hot - and so does my dp. We are both open with each other about who we find attractive. I flirt outrageously sometimes and dp likes it. He flirts less but I'm not bothered when he does.
The crucial factor though is that we both like it. If one of us didn't it would have to stop.

But did he think you wouldn't hear him though?
Oh and his ex's were crazy and jealous?
Hes a player

The first time I ever met him, 18 months ago - I instantly thought 'what a player' and he was with his ex at the time. What have I done??? Why have I fallen for him. Idiot

You are only an idiot if you continue with him. Not because you fell for him in first place.

"Mental" exes ?

That'll be you that will, when you finally have enough of being humiliated by your boyfriend

My ex was a huge flirt, both in person and on Facebook. His exes were all "jealous". I asked about someone whose photos he kept commenting on once (just wondering who she was more than anything) and he replied saying "oh if you're going to be like them, let's just end this now" not realising that HE might have been the problem, not us. There's a difference between friendly and flirting and if they step over this line, it shows a lack of respect for you (in my opinion!) After my experience with my ex, I would be wary of any guy that is a flirt with other women! I also learnt to trust my instincts! You should trust your instincts!

Just read your update - don't feel bad! We all do it. Just move on before it gets too bad.

Thanks for the advice

Hey CHEEKYFBS sounds like my ex too!
Got told he wasnt going to put up with any questions because he 'got enough of this off the last one' haha
Creeps

Sounds like you've fallen for someone who is the polar opposite of your ex. Fine for a rebound thing, but doesn't sound like it's right for you long term.

I've been with a flirt. It's bloody miserable especially when they refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

Your gut will know what to do

I fell for someone like this, I liked the flirty cheeky persona... anyways we never actually became a couple and I was later incredibly thankful for that when I heard the words "well cheating is a little naughty, but I don't see it as that much of a big deal"

If they're extra flirtatious, girls are falling for them, messaging them and... he's sleeping with them at some point

With you there cheeky! My Ex at a dinner party asked the hostess if she had a sister! Hence he's an ex lol

umm hmm

"but it's just who I am, I'm just a naturally flirty person" = I keep my options open and other women on the back burner and strung along when I'm in relationships because I like to test the water and know that I have other options

Sorry

If you're not happy with it, it would be silly to continue.