New DP is a flirt. I am worried.

[Crappyatnames]

11 year relationship with ExDH ended last year. For a couple of months now I have been seeing a friend from work, he is lovely, makes me laugh, affectionate, caring, kind, thoughtful, I really enjoy spending time with him and think i've fallen for him. He is a flirt, has numerous female friends, very huggy, flattering, sends them kisses in texts, he clearly adores women and enjoys their company. This is one of the things that attracted me to him, my ex never paid me attention full stop - they are the complete polar opposite. Although my ex never paid me attention, he also never flirted, or talked about 'hot' women in my presence - he was safe, but it was dull. New guy's flirting is part of his personality, but I cant help feel that I am taking a risk moving forward with him. Why am I so scared? Anyone else's partner a flirt? I overheard him on a work night out last week discussing the new office girl being 'hot' ....I am a bit hurt by this still, seen as he says he has fallen for me, I am amazing etc etc.....Was he out of order? Am I too sensitive? this is all new for me. ExDH was emotionless.

So many partners like this. Male and female. Think it takes a certain type to turn a blind eye to it.
The constant flirting, texting, "we've been friends for years", or "Don't be silly I know his/her wife/husband". We've all heard it.

Great if you can live with it. 2yrs into a relationship and I still struggle. It doesn't get easier. I would say go. I should practice what i preach.

They'll always deny that there is anything going on and that they are devoted to you. And it's probably the truth. But their actions still hurt. It will get to a point where you don't feel like you can even mention it anymore.

What makes it double hard is that the flirting and being so loving and attentive often go hand in hand. So the love and attention they give feels amazing. But only when it's to you. When it's to other people it sucks. Can't have your cake and it it i suppose. (Does that saying fit here??!!!)

Good luck with you decision, hope this has helped

I don't think flirting with others and showing love and attention to your partner have to go hand in hand Snowleopard. I , and many others I'm sure , manage to reserve our attentive , affectionate behaviour for our partners.

I hope people are not selling themselves short by holding this belief. A person deserves to be made to feel 'special' by their dp , it's very important infact.

ChickenBhuna - Agree with what your point. However I didn't say 'have to', I said often.

In my experience, people who shower their other halves with love and affection non stop, i.e gifted with the ease to show their emotions and feel comfortable doing so, are sometimes also the super friendly people, the most confident, the life and soul of the party, the type that everyone warms to instantly, and dare i say it, flirty, either intentionally or unintentionally. It just comes naturally to them. Like OP said, just part of their personality. We are all different.

Not great at showing copious amount of love, doesn't feel the need to say i love you ten times a day. Some may say dull. Some may say safe. But a person with love to give none the less.

Great at giving overwhelming love. Kisses and cuddles non stop. Exciting. Full of life. Friends with everyone. Full of compliments. Flirtatious - not necessarily with intention.

Or, like most, somewhere in the middle. Suppose we all have to work out what type of person we want to and feel happy to share our lives with.

catbasilio. Maybe he is with you because his female friends are all taken and even if they were single they wouldn't be interested in being in a relationship with him.
It is one thing for a man to have female friends but it is quite another to flirt with them while he is in a supposedly committed relationship with you.