Pre nuptial agreement

[rainsbow]

Just after some advice about doing a pre-nup. I'm not after a backlash about how seemingly unromantic this is, this is about protecting myself and my kids in the future should we get divorced.

In a nutshell, im 29 and I'm fortunate to own a large property mortgage free. This is solely in my name. Df and I are getting married in the autumn. If we broke up, will marital law automatically give him a share of my house despite not contributing to the purchase and the fact that it was bought outside marriage? Rightly or wrongly, that seems morally unfair and unjust to me. I want to ensure that if we broke up, that no claim can be made on my house.

Has anyone done a pre nup and can advise?

Please, please don't marry this guy until you have received full financial legal advice from an expert. Any solicitor can give you advice on the high street, but you need one who specialises in prenuptial agreements linked to high asset couples. I have a prenuptial agreement in place as I brought capital and assets to the marriage in excess of 7 figures, and he had nothing of his own at the time of our union. You have a couple of options:

Get a prenuptial agreement, make sure your partner gets legal advice as this is important to show the courts he had an opportunity to know what he signed, and make sure a strong, expert firm of solicitors are involved.

Get married in America or another jurisdiction where pre-nuptial agreements are legally enforceable. You clearly need advice on this.

Please, please don't marry him without protecting your future...I know lots of people who have been taken the cleaners bring capital and assets to marriages that haven't worked out. Solicitors stir up talk of 'entitlement' as part of divorce proceedings and my brother's friend lost so much money to his wife who had an affair...it puts the horrors in me.

In the UK, a prenuptial agreement has some weight in court proceedings nowadays as it shows the spouse went into the marriage with certain agreements. It is not enforceable and could be very expensive for you in the long run. Living together can be a risk too...there have been legal cases where the non-married partner have petitioned the court for a share of property sale profit...please get good advice.

You are being wise! Nobody enters into marriage intending to get a divorce but it happens. In my view what you are doing is absolutely the right thing to do and I would counsel others to do the same in this type of situation. Such documents can be revisited over time if necessary if situation changes.

OP Sounds like you've done very well :-) I would feel exactly the same. If he's living rent free with you then there is no reason he can buy an investment property of his own!

PS my partner is the rich one and I have no issues signing pre nup.

Getting married (to me), shouldn't mean another person comes and takes everything you worked for (Pre marriage), if it ends.

Marriage isn't a business arrangement and I actually think that the OP is being sensible.

If my DD had her own fully paid for property, I would want her to safeguard her assets too.

I sense that there's quite a difference in your socio economic backgrounds.... These are the difficulties associated with such different earnings... and wealth... It's all well and good saying love conquers all... But that's not the reality of life.

muslims all have pre-nups in the UK

Really? I doubt that.

Cba reading 5 pages so feel free to ignore:

1. speak to a lawyer
2. roughly speaking if you get divorced within five years of getting married and you do not have any children within those five years, then you will take out what you brought in to the marriage. This would mean that you keep the whole of your house and any other assets that you brought with you and your husband would keep any assets that he brought into the marriage. Any assets bought during the marriage would then be divided equally. After five years or if you have children during those five years and the situation is different and as other posters have suggested then you risk losing at least a portion of the equity in your house.
3. prenuptial agreements are not considered to be legally binding in the UK however they are considered to be persuasive and a judge will look at the terms of the prenup as being the intention of the parties and may well follow the lines suggested within the prenup unless they are deemed to be manifestly unfair. Postnuptial agreements on the other hand are considered to be legally binding so if you have reached an agreement with your fiance that he will sign a prenuptial agreement, then I would strongly suggest that you get him to sign a postnuptial agreement after the wedding in the same terms as the prenup.

cavatron that's what I was thinking. First few posts had a very ' I worked my ass off for every penny' tone, now it sounds like her parents bought her the house or she inherited their estate. Not that it matters when it comes down to it, but on the first few posts it was like you were looking down on your partner for not achieving the same. But an inheritance or rich parents is nothing more than luck. Your df could win the lottery and you wouldn't get a penny of it either!

OP, I'm in the same position. I spoke with my fiancé and he agreed that I should take steps to protect my assets. It's not just about divorce it's about if one dies also. Legal advice was that my current will becomes invalid so as soon as we are married, I draw up a new will. House is put into trust for my children and we are given lifetime interest in property. That's a very basic summary but I think it's entirely wise.

I had to start again financially when my ex and I split up. Not doing it again!

You are very sensible to think about protecting your assets. I hope you can legally protect yourself and your DC's security.

However- I would have trusted my exH with my life. Several years on and it turns out I actually couldn't trust him with putting the bins out, let alone money. Your DF is saying all the right things now but honour goes out of the window when he's having a midlife crisis, taking up a ridiculous sport and having an emotional affair with someone from work because 'you don't understand him'. Ignore his assurances and carry on the legal route.

To be honest I'm another one who doesn't understand why you're getting married. The romance and pomp of tradition are great on the day but that's a wedding, not a marriage. You already have a child with him and financial security. I have very little other than the roof over my head but it is my security and the one thing I have to leave my DS. I would never marry again.

I think it's very common to protect your assets for the sake of the children.

Me and my sister are both in our 30s but our parents divorced when we were about 5-6 years old and neither of them have remarried in those 30 years. They've both had serious, long term relationships but say they would never move in with someone or marry someone because they want to know that when they pass away all their money/assets will go to me and my sister, not their new partner.

My FIL has just recently split from a serious relationship because she wanted to move in together and he refused. He said that when he dies he wants all he owns to go to his two children (my DH and DH's brother) and he wasn't going to do anything to risk that. His girlfriend obviously wasn't happy with that and ended the relationship.

I'd be very interested in what you end up doing. Our adult DC will be given enough money to buy houses and I would probably want to advise them to consider prenup if they get married. Would obviously be their choice though.

You have a million pounds in savings and property. You worked your arse off for all of it. You're mortgage free and ecstatic to be financially sound. You then get married but sadly this ends. Despite the fact that your husband hasn't paid a penny of your million pound estate, you have to hand over £500k.

That's happened to plenty of men. Don't see why it shouldn't happen the other way round.

That's happened to plenty of men. Don't see why it shouldn't happen the other way round.

Agreed. The standard advice on here seems to be that if you are in a financially weaker position than your partner you should get married to protect yourself.

If you want what's yours to stay yours, don't get married. That's not how marriage works. Live together.
You can't have your cake and eat it.

I think it's important to look at how the marriage might disadvantage your DF. If he marries you but will not get any of the house if you split then he could be left with nothing. In a marriage where you share property then he would benefit from house price rises etc. As it is then he won't be getting on the property ladder at all. Also, because you are already comfortable then there is less incentive for you to be trying to squirrel away every penny to put towards a house as 'you' already have one. IYSWIM

Say you split up in 10 years time it seems right that you keep your house but what would he be left with?

Perhaps you could agree that if you pay all the bills etc that he should be using it as an opportunity to build up a nest egg for himself.

Whatever you do the best thing is to work it all out now. I'm a bit surprised you've left it so close to the wedding. I'd go over everything and every possible senerio. Id also look at what his contribution will be with your first child. (Holiday costs/schooling/child care/extra curricular/university etc).

Would you consider him getting a mortgage on half the house and buying out a half share.

Thanks for all comments (helpful and otherwise ). Df is happy to pursue a pre nup and we are going to see the solicitor together.

The solicitor should point this out in any case but he cannot act for both of you on a pre-nup. Your Df will need to appoint his own solicitor to get separate advice on the terms and drafting.

Yes we've noted that jam. We will go along together so the conversation is open and frank then use our own solicitors for the drafting.

You haven't worked your arse off for this house, though, have you? Your parents helped you out.

Your DF's solicitor will be advising him to protect himself as much as possible. You do know if you split up your DC may choose to live with him. If you're going to boot him out of the marital home you could end up booting out your DC too.

I genuinely don't think marriage is for you. But then your DF may come to the conclusion that you are not for him.

I inherited a considerable sum of money just after getting together with DH. I stand to inherit another considerable sum in the near future. If we split half of my assets are his. He is DD's father. I married him. That is how it works.

Thanks for your opinion which you're entitled to, as am I.

You're welcome. You're started this thread to get opinions, I assume, not just to have people agree with you?

Out of interest, what happens to the money if you die?

As far as I see it Marriage is a partnership. I came to our marriage with a lot more assets than my DH. Most of them were through the good fortune of being given money and property by family members. I just can't imagine not wanting to share that good fortune with the person I love most in the world. In the future I stand to inherit more as does he, it will all be ours in one pot. We are a partnership, and we entered into this partnership the day we got married. If u want to keep everything for yourself at this stage, maybe you need to really address your feelings for your husband to be.

You can have a religous wedding and a marriage in the eyes of god (or whatever you believe in) without the legal restrictions.

That's what my bother and his wife have done, they had a religious wedding, changed their titles/surname, they have documentation stating that they are married in the eyes of god but they didn't do the official governmental stuff, so they are not legally or financially linked.

They are happy with it, had a very traditional wedding and are very happily married and have been for many years.

it you are not willing or able to share everything you have or will ever have with the person then don't legally marry them, prenups aren't legally binding, that's why most people in this situation choose not to marry.